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Right.
I’d spied on them. I’d watched them fuck on a bed that wasn’t their own, in a house that wasn’t their own, in a way that was so scandalous that it could’ve been a parody of everyangstycoming-of-ageromcomever created. House party and sex. Jealousy. I was there, watching all of it. Hearing all of it.
Maybe, as she’d been lying there, looking past Eric’s shoulders, she’d seen me squatting at the door, looking through the crack. And maybe doing the same to me was her way of getting back. Touché.
The only difference?
I hadn’t beenfilmingthe whole fucking thing.
“Let me guess,” I muttered, settling back down onto the couch a few deep breaths later. “She also sent it to the university president under my school email as an attempt to get me expelled.”
Jealousy. I was coming to see what it could do to a person.
Fuck Eric.
“Not exactly.” Felix drew in a shaky breath. “I’m assuming you haven’t heard the news.”
I let out an exasperated huff of air. “Whatnews? Why are you being so cryptic?”
Felix bent over his knees, running his hands nervously for his hair. “Fuck,” I heard him mutter under his breath. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
“What?” I almost shrieked, pushing myself off of the couch to go stand over him. “What’s going on? Whatelsecould she possibly do?”
I could feel the tears burn through my eyelids as he looked up at me.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, holding up his phone. “I’m just… so sorry, Kat.”
I snatched it away from him, my heart beating so fast I wouldn’t be surprised if it was a ticking time bomb ready to explode, send my thoughts and feelings flying in all directions. I squinted down at the screen, struggling to keep my breaths somewhat steady. It was a link toThe News & Observer, Raleigh’s newspaper. It was a short news story about a local boy who had attempted suicide while overseas studying.
It was about Pierre.
I dropped the phone to the floor.
“I’m sorry,” Felix said again, standing up and reaching out as if to catch me. “I’m really—”
“What the fuck,” I hissed, slapping away his arm. “Is this some kind of cruel joke?”
I couldn’t breathe.
I couldn’t breathe.
I couldn’t.
“Don’t understand,” I whispered, my voice shaking a hundred times more than my hands as I bent down to claw Felix’s phone from the floor. Holding my breath, I scanned the screen again, looking more closely at the details.
I couldn’t believe it.
My Pierre.
He attempted suicide.
“Why?”
The word came out so meek. Almost silent, because I refused to believe it.
“What…” I shut my eyes tight. “What does this have to do with Vivian, or my mom, oranything?”
Not that it mattered.
