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Dear Diary,
Carter proposed! It was the sweetest thing. We went to tell my parents the news, and of course, Daddy was skeptical of him. He always has been protective of me. But Carter went outside and had a talk with him, and when he came back in, he asked me right then and there. He got down on one knee and told me that he promises to be the man that me and the baby deserve. I couldn't be happier. He's finally going to be mine, and we can run away from here. Jace and Tyeler will be nothing but distant memories to us. I can't wait!
Davi
It'sa hard pill to swallow, knowing that the one person you thought would always be there for you was willing to just ditch you for a guy. I can almost hear her now.
Tye, you have to understand. I was in love.
But that's bullshit. There wasn't anything in the world that would make me give her up, and here she was, trying to throw me away for someone who she knew didn't even want her. And it’s mystifying, because literally everyone loved her—including Jace.
I flip to the last entry, not sure if I can handle any more but needing the answers. I close my eyes and take a deep breath before reading.
Dear Diary,
I think he knows. I'm supposed to be three to four months pregnant, and I don't even have the slightest hint of a bump. I've tried everything. I've eaten enough junk food to make me sick, hoping it would give me a belly. I tried telling him that some women don't show throughout most of pregnancy. But Carter isn't stupid. He's going to figure it out.
How could I have not considered this? He's going to find out, and he's going to leave me. The only good that has come from this scheme is that he stopped looking at Tye like she's God's gift to men. But I can only imagine what will happen when he finds out the truth. Maybe the two of them will end up together, and I'll have to watch her become his wife and have his babies.
No. I can't do that. Call me selfish, but that won't ever happen. If he finds out, I'll go to the extreme to make sure the two of them never end up together.
If I go down, they're all going down with me.
Davi
If I go down,they're all going down with me? That's either a freaky coincidence, poetic irony, or she's foreshadowing what she already knew was going to happen. And I have a feeling there's only one way to figure it out.
I close the diary and wipe the tears from my eyes. As I reach for the computer, Carter puts a hand on it to stop me.
"Are you sure you want to watch that?" he asks. "I'm telling you, Tye. It'll change you."
Swallowing down the lump in my throat, I slide the computer out from under his hand. "There isn't a single part of this that hasn't changed me."
I open up the laptop and two copies of the video are already on the screen. One is from the original distance. It's close enough to see and understand what you're looking at, but far enough away to make details hard. The zoomed in version starts out focused on Davi when she's already on the ledge of the building. I've seen the first one, having watched it with Davi's parents at the murder trial, right after Carter found it, but I looked away the second she stepped up on the edge.
Bracing myself for the worst, I press play on the original video and watch it for the second time with my heart in my throat.
Davi and Jace walk out onto the roof. I've known her for long enough to tell that she was angry. There's no sound, but she's screaming at Jace about something. She steps closer to him, and it looks like they might kiss, but he softly turns away. That's when she escalates. She walks away from him and takes out a flask, drinking from it.
It looks like Jace tries to reason with her, but she isn't having it. She gets up on the ledge and starts dancing, like she's not in any danger at all. Her level of confidence while being so close to plummeting to her death is hard to see.
She spins around quickly, and it all happens so fast. A whimper leaves my mouth as I watch my best friend fall right off the roof. Jace tries to catch her, but he was too far away. There was nothing he could do. He stands frozen, looking over the side of the building, until Carter runs out onto the roof and over to Jace. He shakes him, trying to get him to talk, and then settles for pulling him back inside.
"I don't get it," I cry, feeling the pain all over again. "She fell."
He sighs heavily. "Watch it again. You have to look closer."
It hurts. It hurts so bad that I almost wonder if the pain is worth it. Was living in ignorance really the worst thing? But I'm too far now. If I don't figure this out, it's going to eat me alive.
I play it again, skipping to the devastating end of Davi's life. Over and over I stare at the screen and try to find what he's talking about. When I can't figure it out, I remember the zoomed version.
Taking a second to compose myself, I switch videos and press play. It's the same thing, but closer and slowed down. She's on the ledge. She starts dancing, looking like she doesn't have a care in the world. And then she spins before...
"No."
There aren't nearly enough words to explain the way my heart breaks. Any piece of it that was potentially still whole, is now shattered into microscopic pieces. My hand covers my mouth as tears pour from my eyes uncontrollably.
I shake my head. "No. She didn't. She couldn't have."
