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The smile she was sporting drops right off her face. “What?”
“She broke up with me two nights ago,” I admit. “It blows, but it's not like I don't deserve it.”
“Back the fuck up. She left you?”
“Yes. Keep up.” I snap my fingers. “You're not as quick as you used to be.”
“And you just...let her?”
My shoulders sag in defeat and I can feel my I'm okay facade start to slip. “What else was I supposed to do? Hold her hostage in my basement?”
“You fight for her, asshat!” She pretends to choke me from across the table. “Christ, what happened to the guy who transferred colleges for the girl he wanted?”
I cock a single brow at her. “You really want to go over how that went?”
“No,” she replies without hesitation. “Definitely not. But what we are going to do is ditch this Popsicle stand and figure out how to get your girl back.”
“We can't do that here?”
“Well, we could. But I want coffee that doesn't taste like the dirt Delaney dared me to eat as a kid.”
A small laugh echoes from the back of my throat. “Fair enough.”
The two of us stand up and make our way toward the door. As she stops, waiting for someone to step out of the way, she glances up at me.
“Do you even have a basement?” she asks curiously.
I snort. “No. No, I don't.”
MY HEART POUNDS INSIDEmy chest as I walk down the familiar hallway toward Kennedy's dorm. I stood outside for the last thirty minutes, trying to convince myself to go inside. Everything I'm about to do is my worst fear, but I’m more afraid of losing her than I am of this. I need her.
I raise my fist and knock lightly on the door, trying to tame my nerves while I wait for her to answer. I try to steady myself by imagining the worst that could happen: I lay my broken heart on the line, and she takes a blowtorch to the pieces? Ugh, this is a horrible idea.
Just as I'm about to walk away, the door opens, and Kennedy's bloodshot eyes meet mine. She looks as bad as I feel, like she hasn't gotten a wink of sleep. My heart breaks just looking at her, knowing I caused her suffering. Just like that, I know I can't leave without her hearing what I have to say, no matter what happens.
“Baby.” The pet-name slips from my lips unintentionally.
The second it’s said, she grunts and goes to close the door, but I shove my shoe in the way before she can shut me out. She looks down at my foot and back up at me with an annoyed glare.
“Just hear me out,” I beg. “Please.”
Saying nothing, she crosses her arms and waits for me to continue. I take a deep breath and try to remember everything I want to say to her. I get the feeling this is the only chance I'll get. If this doesn't work, I don't think anything will.
“I've been scared,” I admit. “Of a lot of things, really. To fully let you in. To get too close. To love you. But all of that seems absurd now, because what I should've been afraid of was losing you.” I pause to let out a nervous breath. “I fucked up. Massively. I didn't treat you the way you deserve to be treated, and even worse, I broke your trust. But if you give me another chance, I'll never make that same mistake again. I swear.” I stare deep into her eyes, so she knows I'm being sincere. “Give me another chance, Ken. I'm not the begging type, but I'm begging you for this. Please.”
When she realizes I'm done, she clears her throat. “Answer me something.”
Her voice is wrecked, as if she's spent the past few hours screaming at the top of her lungs. She even touches her neck like it's in pain. I swallow hard, thinking she might actually give me the thing I want most right now.
“Anything.”
She trains her expression to a knowing, stone-cold gaze that fills my whole body with dread. “When's the last time you saw Tessa?”
Fuck. There it is. My heart sinks as the pieces fall into place and it all makes perfect sense.
The reason she's in such bad shape.
The hoarseness of her voice.
The fresh set of tears staining her cheeks.
She saw us.
Just like that, there's nothing I can say. Nothing I could do that would make her hate me any less. So, instead of saying anything at all, I drop my head and stare down at the ground as she lets the door swing closed.
There's no hope for us anymore.
