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Truth be told,I'm not okay. I knew the second I made up my mind to leave Easton that it wasn’t going to be easy, but I don't think I ever expected it to be this hard. I can't even count the number of times I've picked up my phone, ready to call him and tell him that I was wrong. That we can work through it. That I don't want to be without him.
I sit on my floor and find a small amount of comfort in the loneliness, with my arms wrapped around myself. I'm not sure if Easton is still standing on the other side of the door, or if he gave up and left the second I shut him out. Being as he hasn't tried talking to me again, I assume he left.
Probably on his way back to Tessa.
Squeezing my eyes closed tightly, I will the monster in my mind to go away.
Anywhere but here.
Any time but now.
It's been two days since I've had a single bite to eat. And I know what my mother would tell me. She'd look me in the eye and tell me that I shouldn't let anybody have such power over me, much less a boy, and then she’d make me my favorite meal. But my mom isn't here to do that, and I don't have much of an appetite.
I was going to eat something. I had even gone to a restaurant downtown that I've been to before. Ordered something that made my mouth water and waited for it to be ready. As I was walking out, however, I spotted Easton across the street.
He didn't see me, of course. Why would he when he was so focused on where he was going? Or who he was going to, for that matter. For a second, I almost called his name. Seeing him for the first time since I left him in his bedroom, my heart hurt. The only thing I wanted was to be wrapped in his arms again. But the second he went inside and I saw him take a seat at a table across from Tessa, everything I had put back together over the last forty-eight hours had shattered again.
I couldn't help but stand there like a creep for a moment, watching as he laughed with her, seemingly without a care in the world. Like my leaving didn't affect him at all. He was with the girl he wanted to be with, and there was no getting in the way of that. And when I finally managed to pull my eyes away, I handed the bag of takeout to a stranger passing by.
My appetite was gone.
Everything he said, every word that came out of his mouth, it was everything I've always wanted to hear. The verbal equivalent of ripping his heart out and handing it to me. But every syllable is tainted with the image of him and Tessa laughing over drinks while I break down on the sidelines.
Once again, another piece of me was chipped away at the hands of Easton Donovan, but as I sit here on the floor of my empty room, I make a promise to myself.
That will be the last piece he ever gets to take.
THE CLUB IS PACKED, even more than usual for a Saturday night. There's a bachelor party wreaking havoc in the back corner, and a few of the regulars all chose tonight to bring a bunch of their buddies to the bar with them. And to top it all off, Tye decided to stay in Miami for a couple extra days, leaving Amelia and I to fend for ourselves.
“I'm not telling you to give him another chance,” Amelia continues to press. “I'm just asking if you really want to throw the last year with him away.”
I focus on pouring the glass of beer just right so there isn't too much foam. “Leave it alone, Amelia. Please.”
She sticks her bottom lip out, pouting. “I can't. I just don't understand. You two just woke up in the middle of the night after headboard-banging sex and decided you weren't happy together anymore? How does that happen?”
A part of me knows I should tell her the truth—admit all her brother's wrongdoings and let him deal with the aftermath. But I can't. It's not that I think she would take his side, but the opposite. I've seen her ready to punch him in the face because he didn't get me what she considered to be an adequate birthday gift. If she knew what he did, there's no telling what she would do.
“It just does, babe,” I tell her. “I love you, but you need to move on. He and I are. You should, too.”
Taking a deep breath, she lets it out in a huff. “You were supposed to become my sister.”
“I already am, Meelz. Whether I'm with your brother or not, I already am.”
IT'S HALFWAY THROUGH MYshift when Amelia shrieks and switches one of the TVs over to E!. Within a second, I realize how much the universe actually hates me. There, front and center on the screen, is none other than Tessa Callahan. She's sitting next to her quarterback boyfriend, Asher Hawthorne, in an interview about his comeback to football. After winning the Super Bowl not just once, but twice in a row after coming back from what should have been a career ending injury, you end up under the spotlight.
Still, perfect fucking timing.
I'm not going to lie; the girl is gorgeous. It's no wonder she managed to score one of football's favorite bachelors. Her long brown hair and brown eyes both match Easton's, and I'm sure when they were together, they made a beautiful couple. And honestly, that makes me hate her even more.
Asher drapes an arm around her, and she preens under the attention. Watching her, I can tell E was telling the truth. Whatever they were doing when they were together was innocent, apart from lying to me about it. It's obvious she has no interest in anyone but Asher. And yet, I think that’s worse.
He knew he had no chance with her. He knew there was no way she would ever do anything to risk her relationship. And yet, he snuck around anyway. Lying to me was worth just being in her presence and confiding in her about things he outright refused to tell me.
I was always second choice.
Fed up with this shit and the pain it spurs deep in my chest, I grab the closest bottle of alcohol to me. Malibu Rum. I pour it into a glass with ice and add a splash of pineapple and cranberry. I'd hardly call it a Bay Breeze, but at least it doesn't look like I'm drinking straight rum.
“What are you doing?” Amelia questions. “You know what happened the last time we got caught drinking on the job.”
