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“Have a good flight.”
He nods. “Enjoy your wedding.”
I turn away from him and take a few steps when something hits me. “Colton.” I spin back around. “Remember when you asked me what my biggest regret is?”
“Yeah?”
“I can’t remember our last kiss.” I shrug in defeat. “That’s my biggest regret. That I didn’t commit it to memory so I could save it for a rainy day.”
He bites his lip and at first, I think he’s just not going to answer, but when I go to leave again, his voice hits my ears.
“You were half asleep. We had just made love on the boat and I asked you if you wanted anything to drink. You beckoned me toward you like you were going to whisper it in my ear or something, but instead, you put your hands on my cheeks and you kissed me.”
I can feel him behind me, and his fingers skim lightly from my shoulder down to my elbow. I slowly turn to face him. He’s already looking down at me, searching my eyes for something unbeknownst to me.
“Refresh my memory?” I whisper.
He smirks, putting a hand on each cheek and bringing his lips to mine. My breath hitches at how gentle it is, until I grab the collar of his sweatshirt and pull him closer. He laces his fingers into my hair and brings his other hand to my back. It’s intense, and electrifying, and unlike any kiss before it. My heart hurts when it all sinks in. This is goodbye.
28
COLTON
I slip the key into the lock and open the door. Of course this house would be finished the day before everything changes. Stepping inside, I look around – perfection. It’s exactly how I designed it; exactly how she explained it.
“When did you know that you wanted to be an architect?” McKenna asks with her head in my lap. She’s always so curious and I swear it’s going to be my undoing.
I run my fingers through her hair, feeling it’s silky softness. “I was eight. My parents got me legos for my birthday and I spent the whole day building a model of my dream house. I guess I had a knack for it, even at such a young age.”
Her smile brightens. “That’s amazing, to be so sure of what you want that early. Do you think you’ll ever build the life size version?”
“God, no. My mom showed me pictures. I put the bathroom on the front porch.”
She laughs along with me. “You have to have some kind of ideal house in mind though, don’t you?”
“Yeah, I guess.” I tell her. “But I think I’ll incorporate a little bit of it in every house I design. There are too many ideas in my head for just one place.” She hums in understanding. “What about you? You ever think about your dream house?”
Taking her bottom lip between her teeth, I will myself not to get turned on. Finally, her eyes meet mine and she nods. “A piece of property up high but still overlooking the water, with no other houses in sight. An open floor plan throughout most of the downstairs, with floor to ceiling windows across the whole back wall, so you can always admire the view.”
“That sounds nice. What else would it have?”
“A fireplace in white stone with a light gray granite hearth and mantle. The kitchen would be all white and there would be a wine fridge built in as one of the appliances. The whole outside would have a wrap around porch, and in the one corner would be a swing where I could sit and look out at the water – the perfect place to read.”
“And bedrooms?”
“Four. All of them would be upstairs. A guest room, the master, and two for our future kids.” She stops for a second. I don’t miss her slip up, but she keeps going before I can delve too deep in the idea of us raising a family together. “The master would of course have a balcony, so that I could wake up in the morning and go out there to welcome the day.”
If I’m being honest, I could sit here and listen to her for hours, but imagining a future together? I’m not willing to torture myself that much. One day, she’ll grow up and realize she deserves so much better than me. She’ll find someone else and I’ll stand in the audience next to her family, watching her father give her away to someone who isn’t me. I’m not delusional enough to think I’m the lucky bastard that will get to grow old with her. Even so, one day I’m going to build her that dream house.
For the rest of the summer after that conversation, we always managed to go back to the topic. She would throw out little details here and there, and I secretly wrote down every single one – not that I needed to. There isn’t much McKenna has told me that I’ve ever forgotten. Each memory I have with her is too sacred to let it slip my mind.
I sit down at the table and take a deep breath before putting my pen to pap
er.
Dear McKenna,
Congratulations on getting married. I always knew you would find someone who’d make you as happy as you deserve. I hope your future together is everything you’ve ever imagined it would be. Thank you for being there for me when I needed you, and for giving me a chance to say goodbye properly. You are, have been, and always will be my favorite memory. Maybe one day I’ll come to visit, and you and I will be able to talk like we once did, when things weren’t so complicated. You’ll tell me about how perfect your life is, and I’ll hang on every word, because that’s all I’ve ever wanted – for you to have true happiness. I’m so glad you found someone to give you that.
