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When I finally reach the spot, Holden is waiting for me. He fakes a smile as well as he can manage, though he fails miserably.
“How is she?” He asks.
I shrug, slipping my hands into my pockets. “Honestly? A mess.” He winces, genuinely seeming sad at the thought of Bree being hurt, so I continue. “She doesn’t understand why.”
He lets out a long sigh, shaking his head and sitting down on the ground. I follow suit.
“I guess she didn’t buy what I told her.”
“What exactly did you tell her?”
He picks up a rock and tosses it into the water. “That I just wasn’t feeling it anymore.”
“Oh.” I pause. “Is that really why you did it?”
“Kind of. The more I thought about not having you, the more I resented her for it. I just figure if I’m like this now, why put off the inevitable?”
Okay, so he isn’t exactly wrong. He doesn’t see it going anywhere. I think Bree would rather be broken up with than lead on for longer. She’s very traditional. I know she’s looking for someone to spend her life with. Holden ending things was the better thing to do, even if it hurts her for now.
He reaches over and takes my hand into his, interlacing our fingers and placing them on his lap. A warm feeling spreads throughout my body. Yet, I can’t stop picturing a heartbroken Bree sobbing on my lap.
“Holden.” I breathe. “What are we doing?”
He rubs the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index fingers. “I don’t know. All I know is that I like being around you, and I don’t want to stop.”
“I don’t want to either.” I reply honestly. “But I also don’t want to end up being the next girl you cheat on. I respect myself too much for that.” He opens his mouth to speak but I put my index finger over it, shushing him immediately. I blush when he kisses it. “Let’s not ruin a good thing by complicating it.”
“Okay. So, what are we then?”
My head cocks to the side. “Friends?”
“With benefits?” He asks, smirking.
I laugh, shaking my head. “Sure.”
He smiles brightly and moves toward me. Putting one hand on my face, he looks deep in my eyes. “Does that mean I can kiss you again?” He questions, his tone low and sulky.
The butterflies come alive in my stomach and a chill runs down my spine. Not trusting my voice, I nod. He doesn’t hesitate. As soon as he gets permission, he leans forward and presses his lips to mine. Our tongues move together in an intricate dance. The way he caresses my cheek while his other hand rests on my side, it’s heavenly bliss.
BY THE TIME I make it back to my dorm, it’s well past midnight. When Holden and I became too cold to sit outside any longer, we moved to his car, neither of us wanting to leave yet. I quietly shut the door and tiptoe towards my bed.
“Kayleigh?” Bree asks, voice groggy.
Shit. “Yeah?”
She sits up and turns on her lamp. “What are you doing?” She grabs her phone and looks at it, then sighs and rubs her eyes.
After draping my jacket over the back of a chair, I toe off my shoes and climb into my bed. “I was just out for a walk. Go back to sleep, love.”
She nods, reaching over and turning the lamp back off before settling back into her bed. “Kayleigh?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you for being such a good friend.”
I wince, feeling overwhelmed by the guilt. “You’re welcome. Goodnight.”
“Night.”
