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I nod, leading the way. I sit down and lean against the wall, while he sits with his back against the headboard. He takes out his phone and turns it off before putting it on the end table. I don't know what I expected coming here, but having his complete attention feels nice.
"How have you been?"
I smile sadly, the reality of our situation is evident. "Been better, been worse. You?"
He nods, looking down at his hands. "Same."
"Your girlfriend seems nice."
He looks up at me and chuckles. "Abby? She's not my girlfriend."
"Oh." I reply, slightly relieved. Then it occurs to me, I wasn't his girlfriend for a while either.
"No." He says, reading my mind. He places his hand on mine then pulls away after he realizes what he’s doing. "She's just one of my sister’s friends. She doesn't know anyone here so I'm just helping her out."
I can't fight the smile that comes from his words. Does that mean all the times he was looking at me, were because he misses me? Was I not overthinking that hug last night?
"So, no girlfriend?"
He shakes his head. "No. It's not the right time for one. I need to focus on hockey and the fraternity."
"Oh." The disappointment brings my mood down immensely. I do my best to mask it. "I heard you're captain and president. That's great!"
He smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "Yeah."
"What's wrong?"
He shrugs slightly. "I don't know. I’m just not sure if I'll be any good at it."
"Why not?"
"It's a lot of responsibility. If we lose a game, it's my fault. If some of the guys here get in trouble, it's my fault. I have to be a leader all the time and there's a lot of pressure on me."
Now it's my time to place my hand on his. "Hey." I breathe, getting his attention. "You'll be great at it. You're so caring and always do what's best. Just look at what you did for me."
"Betrayed you by telling your secret and then dropped you off somewhere against your will?"
"Is that really what you think?"
The look in his eyes tells me it is. "Isn't that what happened? Hell, you even broke up wit
h me for it."
Oh shit. It's all becoming clear. He told Caleb and Jason he was being a tool, fucked up, and I broke up with him for it. He wasn't covering for me. It's honestly what he thinks. I have messed up his entire view of himself and our relationship. What is wrong with me?!
"No." I tell him sincerely. "I needed help. I was addicted to cocaine and starving myself. I was severely underweight."
"I should have helped you through it, instead of passing you off on someone else."
I sigh. "You tried. Remember? You tried for months before summer. I just found other ways to hide it from you." When he doesn't respond, I move – placing my hand on his cheek and turning his head to look at me. "You did the right thing."
He half smiles, a tear escaping his eye and sliding down his cheek. "I'm really glad you're okay."
"Me too."
The two of us sit around, talking about everything that has happened this summer. He tells me about the week he spent camping with Brandon and a few of their friends. I've always enjoyed hearing about times with them. His eyes light up and he laughs while telling the stories. His genuine happiness makes me smile.
"So, not to kill the mood, but how is your recovery going?"
