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Giving her a knowing look, I keep my expression firm. “You don’t want me to answer that.”
She looks down at her hands. “No. I don’t.” I continue packing until she whines. “Can you please just take a break and come kiss me?”
A part of me wants to refuse, but soon I’ll be heading back to Maine and I won’t have to deal with her for a while. I may as well make her happy for now. I finish folding the shirt in my hand and place it down in the suitcase. Then, I walk around the bed and sit down next to her. She smiles happily as wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me in, connecting our lips. Thankfully, she didn’t wear six layers of makeup today.
“I’m really going to miss you.” She breathes as we pull away.
“I know.”
There’s a couple moments of silence before she speaks again. “Can I come visit you this year?”
“You have school.”
“I can take a few days off.”
I tuck a strand of hand behind her ear and kiss her to try to soften the blow. “B, I really don’t think it’s a good idea. I don’t want to give you false hope that we’re something more than what we are.”
Her disapproval is evident. “Why can’t we be more than what we are? Would it really be that bad? We’re good together.”
Realizing that brutal honesty is the only thing to get through to her, I pull away. “Because I’d only end up cheating on you anyway.” I go to stand up but she stops me.
“Wait.” She senses my mood change and grabs my arm. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I won’t bring it up again.”
I allow her to pull me down and wrap my arm around her. We fall onto the bed and she blushes. I can tell by the way she molds her body against mine, she wants me. I don’t know when the next time I’ll get laid is, so I go with it.
“You know,” I begin. “This is the last time I’m going to see you before I leave.”
She smirks. “Well then, we should take advantage of it.”
BRANDON AND I HAVE lunch together and he pays for hibachi as promised. My bags are already packed and in the car. As soon as we’re done, I give him a quick hug goodbye and climb into the driver’s seat. I only have one place left to stop before hitting the road and heading back to campus.
My skin goes cold as soon as I pull through the gate. Eight and a half years of coming here, and it still never gets any easier. I drive slowly down the winding road until I reach the tree next to the small pond. Grabbing the flowers off the passenger’s seat, I get out of the car.
Charlotte Rivers
Loving Mother and Wife
04/04/1972 – 04/17/2009
Andrew Rivers
Devoted Father and Husband
05/16/1970 – 04/17/2009
I read the names over and over, still in disbelief that they’re in this place – six feet under and lifeless. The day they died was the worst day of my life. I can still remember the sound of Brandon’s mom’s voice as she sat me down and explained to me what had happened. I don’t think I’ve ever cried so hard. She sobbed too, just holding me close and stroking my back for hours. That woman and her husband saved my life.
“Hi Mom. Hi Dad.” I say softly. No matter how many times I talk to them like this, it still feels awkward. “I’m heading back to school today, so I just wanted to stop by one last time. I won’t be back until Thanksgiving. I love you both and I miss you so much. I hope you’re looking down on me and that I’m making you proud. I just wish you were here.”
I sit in silence for a bit but leave it at that, lying the flowers on top of the gravestone. I kiss my fingertips and place them over my mom’s name – repeating the same sentiment for my dad. Using my sleeve, I wipe away the few tears that have managed to leak out. Then, without another look, I get back into my car and put it in drive. I have a university to get back to.
