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“I don’t want to talk about it.” I answer, shaking my head.
“Ever?”
“I don’t know!” I snap.
Just when she looks like she’s about to cry, my phone vibrates on the nightstand. Fuck. My face gives it away and she grabs my phone, quickly swiping it open. Her eyes widen as I rip it from her hands.
“Don’t touch my phone.”
She’s visibly broken, but between my mood mixed and the alcohol – I can’t find it in me to care.
“So, you won’t talk to me, but you’ll talk to Bianca about it?” She stands up and pushes me backwards. “The same Bianca who tried to destroy our relationship? Are you fucking kidding me?”
I focus on the floor, trying to steady myself. “You don’t understand.” Ok, I admit, that was probably the wrong answer.
“I don’t understand because you won’t talk to me!” She screams. “How the fuck do you expect me to be there for you if you won’t tell me what I have to be there for?”
Why can’t I just talk to her? She knows my parents died. Would she understand? Who am I kidding? She’s Kayleigh. Of course, she would, but she won’t let me drink my pain away. Right now, I need to drink. This was so much easier last year when she was too doped up to care.
She walks toward me and places her hands on my face. “Baby, talk to me. Please.”
I pull her hands away by her wrists and force them back down at her sides. “Why don’t you just go snort something and leave me alone?”
Not even recognizing my own voice as I hear the words come out of my mouth, I go to walk away. I just need some time to calm down – sober up even – and then we’ll talk. I’ll tell her everything and she will make it better like she always does.
“I’m done.” She whispers, stopping me in my tracks.
“What?”
“I said, I’m done.” Each word is like a stab to the heart as she continues. “You and I are over. Enjoy Bianca. I’m sure you’ll be very happy together. You two deserve each other.”
Before I can even open my mouth, she turns and runs out the door. I stand in the middle of my room, gaping and wondering what the hell just happened. She couldn’t have meant that, could she? No. She’ll come back. Any minute now, she will turn around and tell me she didn’t mean it. Any second.
I hear the front door close, and I walk over to the window to look down at the driveway. Kayleigh walks out with Caleb and climbs into his truck. She leans her head against the passenger side window as he drives away and back toward campus. Anger takes over and I scream – throwing the bottle of Jack in my hand against the wall and watching it shatter.
Great job, H. You fucked this up, again.
The couple of days after that were rough. Both Jason and Caleb kept trying to get her belongings from my room, but I needed to see her again. Finally, when they knew I wasn’t going to let them take it, we compromised. They told me they would convince her to come get it herself, but that they would pack it all up beforehand. I thought getting her in front of me would give me the chance to get her back. If she would only let me explain, all of this could be fixed. We could be perfect again. However, that’s not at all what happened.
Kayleigh walks into the room, looking as nervous as I feel. I stand up immediately, gazing at her like I’m seeing the sun for the first time in days. Technically, I am.
“Hi.” I greet her, but her response lacks emotion.
“Where’s my stuff?”
I gesture toward the two boxes on the floor by the window and she walks over to grab one before walking out of the room. A part of me considers helping her, but then she would have no need to come back inside. In a quick moment of brilliance, I rush over to my dresser and pull out the t-shirt of mine she always wears to bed. I fold it quickly and sneak it into the box just before she comes back into the room.
She walks over to take the second box but pauses. “This isn’t mine.” She says, taking the t-shirt back out and handing it to me.
“I thought you’d want to have it.” I reply, the feeling of the fabric burning my skin.
“To be honest, I’d rather not have anything of yours.” Her tone is bitter. She?
?s hurt, angry, and completely shut down.
I wrap my fingers around her wrist to try to stop her. “Kayleigh, please don’t do this.”
“I have to.” She answers.
