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“No, just ... this year hassucked, bruh. I hated not talking. I had all these huge things going on and I couldn’t talk to you about any of it. I hated being that pissed and knowing you were that pissed and not fucking fixing it.”
“Okay. I said I was sorry.” He’d felt all the same things, but now he was also feeling doubly defensive, like Zach was trying to make it about blame again, and fuck that.
“I’m sorry, too,” Zach said.
“Zach! Jay!”
They turned in the direction of Lyra’s voice.
“Yeah, baby?” Zach called back.
Jay was very proud of himself for not miming those words back at his brother, with a double helping of snark. But really, that would have been nothing but performance anyway. He’d been jealous of Lyra, feeling like he’d gotten pushed aside for her—probably stupid, but whatever—but now he wondered if he and Petra might get to this place, where they were calling each other ‘baby’ and making plans for the future.
Did he even want that?
He thought maybe he did.
“There’s not gonna be much food left if you don’t get your butts in here!” Lyra called. “I’m trying to save you a plate, but I need a whip and a chair.”
Zach laughed. “We’re coming!” He turned to Jay. “The fajitas are fucking amazing. And Ly makes this corn salad even I love. You wanna come and get some grub?” He stood.
“Sure.”
When Jay stood, too, Zach surprised him by yanking him into a hard, long hug. After a second or two, Jay hugged him back. After another second or two, he realized how fucking badly he’d needed it, and he hugged harder.
“Ifuckingmissed you, Jacob,” Zach whispered.
Jay nodded—and then it was all too much. “Okay, this is turning into some creepy gay incest thing.” He pushed his brother back. “I want to try these fajitas. If they’re better than Mom’s, though, I’m not gonna admit it.”
“Let’s just say they’redifferentfrom Mom’s. Seems safer that way.” Zach hooked his arm over Jay’s shoulders, and they walked to the clubhouse.
About halfway there, Jay took a deep breath and said, “I met somebody.” It felt both strange and exactly right to tell his brother about Petra. Like walking through your own front door after a long trip.
Zach drew up short. “You did? Who? Where? Is it serious?”
“I think it could be. Serious, I mean. I’ll tell you about her later. She’s a dancer.”
“Like, exotic?”
“No, asshole.” He elbowed his brother in the gut. “Like dance dance. I’ll show you some TikToks she does with her friend. And she owns a bar.” He held back the kind of bar it was.
“Holy shit, that’s awesome!”
“Yeah, she is,” Jay said and smiled.
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~oOo~
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You feel good aboutit?
Jay was stretched out on a pretty comfortable bed in a tiny room in one of the bunkhouses. It was still fairly early, by Bulls standards, and the party around the bonfire was still going strong. At this point in a Bulls party, here in Laughlin just like in Tulsa, a lot of people were deeply engaged in sex and sex-type activities. Only the attached Tulsa Bulls were solo—which now included Jay himself. But the other attached Tulsa Bulls were Dex, Simon, and Fitz, and those dudes were old and boring.
All those people getting busy made Jay miss Petra, and there wasn’t anybody interesting to hang with, so he’d slipped away without drawing notice and went to the room he’d dropped his pack in earlier. It was Saturday night, and Petra was at work, but she’d answered him right away and was keeping up a conversation with him.
He answered her question about his reunion and making-up with Zach.
