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I turn off the tap. “Goodnight,” I say walking away from him.
“Goodnight Hope.”
* * *
I didn't sleep at all last night; I lay by the window and looked out at the street lights thinking about everything Leo told me last night. I know that he said to do all those things, but I don't feel comfortable. I still don't want to break the rules, and I don't want to get punished. Leo said he won't, and deep down I don't think he would, but in the back of my mind and inside my body, I feel like if I don't, Iwillbe punished and that starts to make me feel panic inside.
I go to make breakfast. I’ve learned now that Jackson is over for breakfast and dinner most days, so I always make extra just in case he comes over.
“Morning, Hope.” I turn my head to the right a little to see Leo standing next to me. “Breakfast smells nice.” Placing a mug of coffee next to me, he looks over my head toward the door as we hear it closing.
“What’s for breakfast, Hope?” I hear Jackson behind me.
"Do you ever eat at home, or do you think my house is a free for all?" Leo walks away from me, and I hear them both talking about some court thing that Jackson is going to.
“Hope, we can eat at the breakfast bar,” I hear Leo say. I give him a nod and plate up the eggs before I place the plates in front of them both.
“This is yours, so where is mine?” Leo says. I look at him through my eyelashes. Then I turn around and get another plate and put it in front of him. “Would you like to leave the house today?” he asks.
"No." If I don't have to go out in the day, I won't. There are too many people out there in the daytime.
"How about in the evening? There'll be fewer people out." It seems like Leo is finally getting that I don't like being around people.
“Ma…maybe.” It’s not that I don’t want to go out, but if I walk somewhere new, I like to go at two or three in the morning so that I can plan my route; so I know I won’t have to look up at anyone. I’m still always scared that one day I will seehimagain; the man from the pimp house. He said if he ever sees me he’ll hurt me and I don’t want to go through all that.
“Are you scared of something?”
Turning my face away from him for a moment, I try to get the night out of my head. I need to get that night out of my head.
"I didn't hear an answer," Leo says. I start playing with my food on the plate. "Someone here hurt you, and I'd like to know who."
“No one,” I whisper, taking my plate to the sink.
Leo doesn’t say anything else to me, but I hear them both leaving the kitchen. “Can you bring us coffee to my office please?”
I close my eyes for a moment just to get my thoughts back together. He told me about his past, and I can't even tell him about that night. I need to tell himsomething.
Making them both a coffee, I walk upstairs to his office. The door is open a little, and I go to walk in but stop as I hear them talking.
“Leo, the only person that’s going to tell you who hurt her is Hope.”
"I know, I told her about what happened to me. I thought maybe she would see me for more than the monster I am," I hear Leo say. My heart starts to race; he's trying, and I'm pushing him away. He's trying to help me, maybe it's time I let him?
“Leo, do you like Hope?” Jackson asks. His tone is sincere. He even sounds like he’s asking with some joy in his voice.
“Last night, she looked me in the eyes. That look was different; I saw hopefulness there. Not just for her, but forme. From the moment I walked into the restaurant, something about her has pulled me to her and—”
“For you and because I know you, I’m happy. I didn’t think there was any chance of getting that heart to beat.”
The coffee mug slips out of my grip and hits the floor, and the broken pieces shatter as the hot coffee splashes around my feet. Leo can't like someone like me, he doesn't even know me. I have too much darkness around me; darkness that he needs to stay away from.
Kneeling I start picking up the pieces, and I feel Leo's hand on mine. "Sorry," I tell him.
“It’s only a mug.”
“I need to believe that everything broken can one day be fixed,” I whisper. Leo’s hand stops in its track to pick up the pieces. “When I came to New York, this man raped me, so I don’t like going out in the day, if I don’t have to,” I whisper.
I look up at him, as he sighs deeply, his eyes watching me, but all I see in them is a cold darkness. He looks angry. Leo stands up, and I finish picking up the rest of the mug. Then I get up and stare down at the pool of coffee on the floor.
