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Oh, the shit I have planned for him when I do get my hands on him. I'm going to make sure it lasts for days not hours.
"Nothing should be left of that place." Jackson shuts the door, looking at the building as it goes up in flames. "Here, you need to calm down a little before we get home.” He hands me a lit cigarette.
"I need something a lot stronger.”
"Here." He takes a flask out of his pocket. "You don’t even need a glass, I know you don’t." He brings the bottle to his lips and takes a good amount down. "Leo, question."
“What?”
"You and Hope-”
"None of your fucking business,” I cut him off. I mean, I don’t know the answer to that question myself, yet what the fuck do I tell him.
"I know, but I get the feeling this attitude is half because of him and half because of Hope."
Jackson passes the bottle over, and I keep it on my lips and drink until I need to stop for air. "Before I was getting revenge for us, but now I'm getting it for her too. That's all," I tell him, taking more from the bottle.
"Leo." He knows I’m lying, he always knows, he knew that Hope was different.
"She's opening up, but she's hiding something, and I'm not sure if it's her illness or her past." I take a long drag from my cigarette, not letting the smoke escape straight away. Instead, I let the smoke move around inside my lungs for a moment.
"You have to give her time, Leo."
"What if it’s too late?” That’s my worry. If it’s her health and I’m too late to help, then I’m not just losing this fight in finding him, I’m losing the fight to save her.
Jackson doesn’t say anything more to me; he’s started to see the change in me, even though I’m trying to hide it from everyone else. I can never hide things from him.
* * *
Jackson said he would be over after having a shower. As I step out of my shower, I grab a pair of PJ bottoms and a plain T-shirt. Hope wasn't downstairs when I got home, and I want to find her, but I needed to shower first, wash the day away.
Leaving my room, I go to walk over to Hope's room but stop when I smell food. It's eleven in the evening so why is she cooking? This is New York, you can order a pizza anytime, there's always something open.
Walking downstairs I hear Jackson talking to Hope about his day. When I join them, Jackson looks at me then over to Hope.
She has her back to me. "Smells nice," I say grabbing a beer for both of us.
"Can’t fully see her face but she doesn’t look too good," Jackson whispers as he pushes something over to me. "She went shopping, I haven’t opened it," he tells me.
I look back over to see if Hope has turned around, but no, she hasn't.
Opening the letter, I see she has explained the reason for spending the money with the receipts. One item, pads. It takes me a moment before it clicks in my head what they are.
"Jackson, give me a minute, please," I say as I throw the paper on the counter. Once I know that Jackson has left, I begin to shake my head. What the hell do I need to do for her to realize I don’t care what she spends the money on? “Hope can you come here please?” It takes a few moments before Hope finally looks over at me, my eyes break away from her for a split second. She looks weak, pale. I’m not going to ask the question I was going to. I’ll search the internet or ask my mom. I never thought that blood could affect her because of her Lupus, and I never thought about her period.
She stands in front of me, and I tell her, "Next time I leave money, you don’t need to tell me where you spent itorgive me the receipts. Next time you do, it'll really upset me." I'm never going to question where she spends her money, I'm just happy that she leaves the fucking house. "I'm not hearing anything, Hope."
"I’m sorry, won’t happen again." Her voice is weak.Veryweak.
"What's wrong? You're scaring me, Hope. You're bleeding." I grab a towel from the countertop and put it against her nose. "Jackson, call Mom!" I shout, and I hear him running into the kitchen.
"Shit, take her over to the sink," he says getting his phone out.
Hope tries to push me away from holding her. "It’s fine. Please loosen your grip. I know what I’m doing." I loosen just a little as I walk with her. How have I not noticed this before?
"You want help?" I ask hearing Jackson on the phone to Mom. "Hope?"
She stops walking and looks at me. "I'm used to nosebleeds, just not had one in a long time," she tells me and walks into the laundry room. I leave her for a moment to give her some space. I don't want to piss her off anymore.
