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Too worried to stay away, I make my way back to the laundry room and stand behind her. She seems to be getting annoyed, and I don't want that. I just want to help her, but I don't know how. She just looks in pain but isn't saying anything to me about it.
"Mom’s on her way," Jackson says from behind me.
Hope lowers herself to the floor, and without taking my eyes off her, I do the same and kneel in front of her. "Hope?"
"Can you get the food out of the oven?" she says through the pain, and I shake my head with a smile. She's sitting here in pain, and she's worried about the food. Like, I give a shit about the food.
"Jackson’s getting it out. Something hurting?"
"Can you please just leave me alone?" She looks at the floor, and I don't move. I just look at her. "Please?"
That one word has so much pleading, so much pain that I do the one thing I know will make her feel comfortable. I leave.
I lean on the counter closest to the laundry room but don’t take my eyes off the door.
"I should’ve listened to you and just let her be," I tell Jackson as he walks around the kitchen behind me.
The last ten minutes I've been looking at the door thinking I should have let her carry on with the life she had. Maybe it would have been better for her. She was a ghost in her own life, and I knew she needed help, but at this very second, I feel like I'm hurting her more.
"Evenyoudon’t believe the crap you’re saying. She was living in hell; you took her away from that." Jackson hands me a beer. "Leo, I’m the way I am becauseyouprotected me, looked after me. You’re like this because of our parents. You were taken forsix years.” He stops and glances at the door. “Hope was taken when she was, what, eight? She’s what, twenty-two now? She’s been alone forone year. So for thirteen years, you think about how they broke her, abused her, treated her. You’vegotto be patient. The way I see it, she’s a lot fucking braver than me." He walks away as I hear the front door.
He’s right, she’s lived in the darkness alone; she’s lived with the devil alone. Not anymore, I’m going to live with her. I’m still going to fight through the darkness to show her the light.
* * *
My mom spoke to Hope about everything; she said that I need to take her to see the doctor and that her joints are hurting more due to the time of year. She said that a bleeding nose might sometimes happen too with her condition.
"She just about letyoutouch her, how am I supposed to get her to see a doctor?” I bite back at my mom.
My mom rubbed my arm reassuringly. "I know honey, but I really do think the weather change is affecting her and she might need stronger medication.” Mom looks over at Hope cleaning the kitchen. That was a fight that my dad had to pull me away from.
I told Hope that she needed to go to bed, but she ignored me and started cleaning which got me angry and I was losing my temper with her. I just wanted her to rest and understand I only want to help her.
I give in. "I'll take her to the one she went to before." I look over at her as she walks to the doors that lead to the yard. She stops there and just peers up at the sky. I cross the room to her, and I see tears escaping her eyes. I reach up to wipe them away but stop as she opens the door and takes a step outside.
"Leo," my dad says as he walks toward me and I turn to face him. "Son, I see the look in your eyes when you look at her; a sparkle which we thought would never appear. Never." He pats my shoulder. "Be patient."
"I will." I turn my attention back to Hope as I hear my parents saying bye to Jackson.
I’ve waited this long, a little longer isn’t going to kill me.
* * *
"There has to be something that we’re missing, I mean—” I start pacing the room.
"Maybe we need to go back to the start?" Jackson says.
He came over early this morning, we've both taken the day off; Dad said it was best I take the time to stay with Hope. I was happy to as the doctor is our first stop.
"How you feeling?" I ask Hope as she puts the coffee on the table. I've been trying to give her space and not be around her so much, which is working out to be a lot harder than I thought.
“Better," she replies, sitting on the chair in front of me and looking at all the papers through her eyelashes.
"Beautiful, did you escape from those people in New York?"
I look over at Jackson, is he crazy asking her that?
"No, Florida."
