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I realized that in answering his questions, I’d calmed down completely, and my panic was almost gone. I was still anxious about the therapy session, but it was more of a general nervousness now.
“Thank you.”
Scott leaned over the console and pressed a soft kiss on my forehead. “Anytime. Now, shall we?”
I nodded as he pulled away and got out of the car. We walked into the building and took the elevator to the fifth floor, which was where the therapist’s office was. We arrived just a few minutes before my appointment, so we didn’t have to wait long, for which I was thankful.
When the receptionist called my name, I stood up on shaky legs. Scott pulled me into a hug, and I tried to soak up some comfort from his warmth. “I’ll be right here waiting for you, okay? When you're done, we’ll go home and cuddle with Tressa and read, yeah?”
I nodded, and he pressed another kiss on my forehead before letting me go. I took a deep breath before walking through the short hallway and into the room at the other end. The room I stepped into wasn’t very big, but it looked comfy, for which I was thankful. My last therapist’s office had been extremely clinical, and I’d rather there were no similarities between the two.
There was a huge window on the wall opposite the doorway, and a comfortable-looking couch sat against the wall there. One wall was covered in a bookshelf, and though I wanted to take a closer look at that, I stopped myself as my eyes fell on the woman sitting on the armchair beside the couch. She looked to be in her early fifties, with short black hair interspersed with a few gray strands and warm brown eyes that matched her skin color perfectly. She gave me a soft smile, her eyes crinkling as laugh lines bracketed the corners of her lips, and some of the tension left my body. Her smile and the warmth in her eyes reminded me of Scott, and that gave me the strength to walk toward her. She gestured towards the couch, and I took a seat, playing with the hem of my sleeve as I waited for her to speak. I’d worn my gray jumper because I’d been so nervous as it was, and I didn’t need the added stress of her possibly seeing my scars on top of that. I knew I’d have to talk about them sometime, but I’d prefer to not do it on our first meeting.
“Good evening. My name’s Monica Freeman. It’s nice to meet you.”
I shook her hand and introduced myself. “Luke Smith.”
“So, Luke, tell me about yourself.”
I’d decided right before we left that I’d be completely forthcoming this time around, or as much as I could be. I didn’t want to do the weeks’ worth of trust building only to have it thrown into my face again. Also, I was going to trust Scott’s judgment and trust this woman until and unless she gave me a reason not to. I took a deep breath and spoke, keeping my voice as steady as I possibly could.
“I’m twenty-two, a junior editor at the Voice Out magazine. When I was seventeen, my parents kicked me out for being gay. I hadn’t planned on telling them, but they found out anyway and threw me out. I spent a year drifting from shelter home to shelter home until I met my ex a few weeks after my eighteenth birthday. He charmed me and made me believe he loved me, and before I knew it, I was living with him. I dated him for almost a year before I realized the kind of person he actually was. I tried leaving him, but he couldn’t accept that, so he locked me up in his spare room. I was there for two years, and he’d…use me whenever he felt like it. Last year, his maid accidentally discovered me and called the cops. My ex is in jail now, and here I am, still dealing with all the shit he did to me.” I stopped speaking and took a deep breath as I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans. I hadn’t told some of that to even Scott, or maybe I had. I couldn’t remember clearly.
“Can I ask you a question, Luke?”
I nodded without looking at her, steeling myself for whatever psychoanalysis she’d done of me.
“Have you heard of or met Delilah Sparks?"
“You mean Mama D? Do you know her?” I asked, the thought calming me almost instantly. If the two people I loved the most trusted this woman, then I had no reason to doubt her, right?
“I’ve known her and Ryan since we were kids.”
“That’s awesome.” I sighed. Ryan was Mama D’s husband, and watching the two together always warmed my heart because they were such a perfect example of soulmates.
"Well, I was going to tell you about her nonprofit, but it seems like you're already well aware, so let’s talk about you.”
I sighed and readied myself for the session. I hoped I’d get a lot of Scott snuggles later on because I had a feeling I’d need them.
24
Scott
Themomenttheofficedoor opened, I was out of my seat and walking toward Luke. I pulled him into a hug as soon as he stepped out of the hallway and squeezed him tightly to me. I held him for a long minute before pulling back and examining his face. His eyes were shadowed, without their usual sparkle, and I knew it was my job now to bring that brightness back, and it was a job I’d only be too happy to do.
“How about we head home, cuddle with Tressa, and eat a shit-ton of ice cream while watchingFriends?” I suggested, and Luke looked up at me with a small smile.
“That sounds perfect.”
The drive home was quiet, and I let Luke gather his thoughts because I felt like maybe he needed some alone time, and honestly, this was all the space I’d be able to give him for now. The thought of leaving him alone didn’t sit well with me in the slightest, and even now, I had a firm grip on his hand as I drove one-handed.
Over the last six months—it was hard to believe it had been six whole months since Luke came into my life—I’d found out so much about Luke’s past, and every new detail made me hurt just that much more for my beautiful man. He’d dealt with so much, was still dealing with so much, and I was always in awe of his strength, even if he had a hard time believing it. I wasn’t sure if I’d have been able to survive everything he had and still remain the person I’d been. I knew there was a lot to Luke I still didn’t know, but I was looking forward to knowing everything about him because I definitely planned to stick around for as long as he wanted me to.
Once we were home, I situated Luke on the couch and told him to stay put as I rushed into my bedroom and grabbed my comforter before getting the Tupperware I’d picked up from Mama D on my lunch break. When I got into the living room, Tressa was seated at the top of the backrest, licking Luke’s temple. Luke’s face was scrunched up in dismay even as he giggled, and the sound made me smile. “Look at the two of you. Did the party start without me?”
I made my way to the couch, and with a little maneuvering, I managed to lay down and pull Luke into my side, covering both of us with the comforter. I handed him the ice cream tub and grabbed the remote, quickly opening Netflix and starting the first episode of season six.
“Is this Mama D’s?” Luke asked in wonder as he ate a spoonful of the coffee-caramel ice cream.
