AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Didn’t even need to open the door to know who was on the other side.
Only, unlike the last few days, now she was actually strong enough to face him—strong enough to hear whatever it was he had to say and confident enough in herself to know that, whatever his request, whether Candy was in his life or not, her answer would be no. She didn’t want to live with the mistress’s curse of never, ever being able to trust him.
‘Hemorrhoids!’ It was perhaps the strangest of greetings, but she knew his humor because he knew hers and she actually managed a smile.
‘I know.’
‘How?’
‘Because Mickey came in when I was on nights and told me so himself.’
‘I just wanted to clear a few things up.’
‘Well, thanks for the wind-up.’
‘Again, I couldn’t resist it. In Russia... ’ his eyes were squinting slightly, his face grayer than it had appeared on television ‘...it is a custom on a day such as today to drink until you drop.’
‘Well, you can have a cup of tea, then,’ Annie said tightly, ‘because you’re not dropping here. Come in.’
‘I heard you had flu.’
‘I did,’ Annie answered as they headed to her lounge room. And it wasn’t that much of a lie because flu made you feel as if you’d been hit by a train, flu made your eyes and nose weep, made you forget about food and just want to curl up and die. ‘But I’m getting over it now—in fact, I’m feeling a whole lot better.’
‘That’s good.’ He sat down, let out such a long breath he should really have turned blue, before finally he looked at her. ‘I don’t want to drop because then it really is over. When I wake up tomorrow—’
‘It is over, though,’ Annie answered. She could double talk as easily as he. ‘As hard as it is to face, there’s nothing that can be done to change that.’
‘I don’t want to wake up tomorrow without you.’
‘As I said, there’s nothing that can be done to change that,’ Annie said in a voice that wasn’t quite as strong but still very credible. ‘Iosef, did you listen to anything that I said when I ended it?’
‘That is why I am here. Now I’m asking that you listen to me.’
‘I don’t think there’s anything left to say.’
‘One thing... ’ Adamant, he faced her. ‘I just want to make one thing very clear, to be honest.’ He closed his eyes at her soft mirthless laugh. ‘It is imperative that you believe this. I would have been proud to have you with me today—I would have given anything to have had you by my side through all of this, and nothing would have made me happier than to take you out for dinner that night you asked me to. You are without a doubt the most beautiful woman I have ever known.’
‘I’m expected to believe that from a Kolovsky?’
‘You have to believe that. Whatever has gone on, whatever mistakes have been made, I need you to understand that never, not for a moment, was it about you or your looks—and, given what you told me about your past, it is imperative that you understand that.’
‘I’d already worked that one out, thanks.’
‘It was me with the problem, not you.’
‘I’d worked that one out, too.’ And she sounded so convincing, Annie almost believed herself—almost, but she could still recall the dread she’d felt as she’d stepped back on the hamster wheel of attempting to attain and retain the unattainable. ‘Look, Iosef, I’m not a teenager now. I chose to ignore the warning signs and I take full responsibility for getting involved with someone—’
‘Full?’
‘I’m fully responsible for my own actions—the same way you are for yours. I just don’t want to be the person I was starting to become—ignoring my conscience, trying to look good enough, trying to keep up with the image you had of me at the wedding. That wasn’t me—’
‘Annie,’ he interrupted sharply, ‘you seem to have it in your head that I fell in love with you at the wedding.’ It was like having needles stuck into her, millions of needles that pierced every fragment of her being—the only word she wanted to hear from him the one shehadto ignore. ‘It was the Monday before that—at eight minutes to twelve actually. I remember the time because I had some blood gases to do. I was just about to get up and then in you waltzed and the whole room lifted— actually, not just the room... ’ He gave a very wry smile. ‘So perhaps it was lust then... Love, however inconvenient it was for me, came rapidly later. I was particularly horrible to you because I didn’t want to get to know you. Hell, they could have spray-tanned you green with purple spots and I’d have been crazy about you. I was particularly angry with you for not eating, because I cared about you... ’ He shook his head helplessly. ‘I did not want to come to the wedding. I did not want to get involved with you. I offered to swap with Marshall, but he refused. He had been to the service, he said, and I should go to the reception.’
‘Why didn’t you want to go?’
‘Because of what I knew might happen.’
‘Did happen.’
