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Annie didn’t know what to think but she did know that despite Iosef and Millie’s revelations she hadn’t even scratched the surface of the pain that ran through this family. But for the moment staying away seemed the best course of action for Millie. ‘I have to go in and check on Ivan now. I’ll take you to the staffroom and you can make yourself a coffee or something. I’ll pop in on you every now and then and let you know what’s happening.’
It was the longest night of her life—just wretched and difficult from the very start as they struggled to get to the end, but, turning Ivan just before dawn, Annie knew it was for the last time and, though she couldn’t be certain, she explained to Nina afterwards that it looked as if the end was close.
‘You shouldn’t be alone, Iosef.’ Nina looked over at her son, for once not speaking in Russian. ‘Why don’t you call Candy?’
‘I’m fine.’ He shook his head as Annie, seated at the desk nearby, froze, but Nina was insistent. ‘Call her and tell her to come—she should be here for you.’
Of course his mobile was dead, so he had to use the desk phone and she had to sit there, tears plopping on the notes she was pretending to write as Iosef asked for Candy to come.
‘She’s on her way.’ His voice was flat. ‘She’ll be fifteen minutes or so.’
The tension was unbearable for everyone, and Nina, who’d been at Ivan’s side since his admission, left to get some fresh air. Although Annie understood that she must need a break, she was tempted to tell her not to go. Ivan was in Cheyne-Stokes breathing now—every delayed labored breath—possibly his last.
Annie willed her shift to end before Ivan died, willed herself to hold it together for a few more hours, but she only succeeded in the latter. Biting into her lip as Millie bravely came in for the very end and held Levander, she tried not to watch as Candy sobbed on Iosef’s chest, and Annika wept loudly, and was grateful to Jackie, who came round to the obs ward and was there to help at the end.
‘Come...’ Nina spoke to Millie when everything had been said and done. ‘You come to our house now and stay with us.’
‘We’re going to a hotel tonight. I think it would be... ’ Levander’s voice broke as he spoke and Millie took over for him.
‘A hotel would be better.’ Supremely polite, she remained adamant. ‘We didn’t bring a portable cot or anything—’
‘You two,’ Iosef interrupted, and then glanced down at the sleeping baby she was holding, ‘I mean, you three can come to my apartment if you like. When I knew you were coming I went and bought a cot and some bits for Sashar. If a hotel is better for you, though, that is fine— I understand. But you’re welcome to stay any time.’
‘We’d love to come and stay with you.’ Millie gave a pale smile. ‘Thank you, Iosef. And thank you, too, Annie, you’ve been marvelous.’
Levander shook her hand and said the same, so did Aleksi and so too did Annika, so heartbreakingly did Iosef. ‘Thank you, Annie.’
She didn’t see them to the door—didn’t even look as they all walked out into the early morning, just stiffened her spine and summoned her last dregs of energy and dealt with Ivan and the pile of paperwork. When the porters came for him, even though it was an hour till her shift ended, without even offering an explanation, Annie picked up her bag and buzzed on the intercom over to Section A and informed the sister in charge that she was going home.
Her work was done.
Now she somehow had to get on with her life.
Chapter 13
Onlyit wasn’t that easy.
As an emergency nurse Annie dealt with death on a daily basis, had even dealt with colleagues’ family members on occasion—but the events that had taken place had shaken her to her very core. To be so close to the man she loved and to be able to do nothing had been unbearable. To see him, to see theotherwoman, to watch as Iosef held in his arms the woman he had cheated on with her, sickened Annie to the stomach. Yes, she had nursed Ivan well and had helped Millie, but she was angry too. In Iosef’s eyes she had been the best person for the job... but had he never stopped to think...
At what cost to her?
It was stupid to take a couple of nights off sick before her off-duty days—stupid because, no doubt, Iosef wouldn’t return to work until after the funeral and they could be better utilized to avoid him then. But she simply couldn’t face it.
For the first time in the longest time Annie picked up the phone and prepared to make her excuses, but so shocked was Beth on the end of the line at Annie’s strangled, weary voice that she all but sent an ambulance. ‘Take as long as you need,’ Annie was told. ‘That flu bug is just dire.’
Not half as dire as the Kolovsky bug!
The trouble with loving someone from a famous family was that she couldn’t even turn to her horoscope in the newspaper without seeing some reference to them. Couldn’t turn on the television without some newsreader telling her that Ivan Kolovsky’s will would be read after the funeral—the funeral for which Melbourne was delightedly preparing. Every supermodel and actress who had ever donned a Kolovsky dress seemed to be flying in and with the super-sexy Levander Kolovsky back in town, every supermodel and actress was, no doubt, hoping that same dress would rapidly come undone!
‘No chance,’ Annie said to herself a couple of days later, feeling relatively better, sitting in her cheeky-monkey pajamas with a tub of ice cream and a box of tissues and watching the early evening news. Snippets of the funeral showed Levander, his arm wrapped tightly around his wife, against a mass of black suits and dark sunglasses. Again, she was struck that when the camera turned on Aleksi, not for a second did she think it was Iosef, her mind welcoming the temporary distraction of trying to work out what made them different...and utterly unable to define it till Iosef came in to view, comforting Candy as she sobbed in his arms. Annie’s rose-colored glasses snapped on and she gazed at him through the raw, painful eyes of unrequited love.
That was what made him different.
She loved him.
She had played the most dangerous of games and lost, and Annie knew, as the doorbell rang, that she had no one to blame for her pain except herself.
She knew it was Iosef.
