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Spying the kettle, I set it on the stove and waited for the water to heat up. I grabbed a couple tea bags and dropped them in one of the chipped coffee mugs. I’d never made a cup of tea before. How did you know when it was done? Did I leave the bags in, and what were the strings for? Why were there tags? Did it need to be as strong as coffee?
Poking one, I gave it a little growl of frustration. It smelled like wet leaves and dead flowers. Why would anyone want to drink this crap?
As soon as the kettle began whistling, I filled the cup and took the light brown water to the bedroom. I hated how little I was providing her but was desperate to do something for my mate.
She’d left the bathroom door open a crack, the scent of soap mixing with the steam of the hot water as it crept into the room. I smiled as I heard her. She was humming softly. My song. The one I wrote for her.
Fuck. That did things to me.
The melody abruptly cut off as she let out a whimpered groan. I was off and running to her like a fucking gold medal was on the line. I burst through the bathroom door, not doing a damn thing to conceal my absolute panic.
“Sunday? Fuck, are you okay?”
I whipped open the curtain, finding her standing beneath a spray of steamy water, hands curled over her belly as she hunched over.
“Oh, my God, is it time? Is the baby coming?”
Once her shock at seeing me passed, she laughed. “No. It’s just a contraction, I think. It’s pretty common. Especially after what we’ve been doing.”
“Contractions? That means the baby. I know what contractions are, Sunshine. You need to lie down. I’ll get some towels and... fuck... we need to sterilize a knife or some scissors. Something to cut the cord.”
Her eyes were wide by the time I was done rambling. “Kingston. We’re not starring in Little House on the Prairie. I don’t need a knife coming anywhere near me or my belly. Just calm down. It’s too soon for the baby to come. It’s just a little blip.”
“A blip.”
“Yeah. Now go on. I’ll be out in a minute.”
I couldn’t stop the building panic. The thought of her having this baby with just us to help her through it sent my mind reeling. Anything could happen. I wouldnotlose her. I’d already lost too many people. Phe and my dad. Rosie. But Natalie said...
“Kingston? You look like you’re going to puke.”
A tremor worked its way through my limbs, and nausea clutched my gut. I might puke if I didn’t get a hold of my emotions. I couldn’t breathe. Every intake of breath hurt like I was trying to swallow a dagger, and it was shredding my insides the whole way down.
“Kingston? Fuck. Hold on.”
She shut the water off and climbed out, grabbing a towel and hastily wrapping it around her body as water dripped from her hair.
“Let’s sit you down. You need to breathe, okay? In through your nose...”
She was holding onto my arm, pulling me into the bedroom. But I was barely aware of what was happening around me beyond that. The walls were closing in. My vision went fuzzy at the edges as my pulse pounded in my ears.
Why couldn’t I fucking breathe?
“Look at me, baby. I’m right here. Look into my eyes.” She pressed her palms to my cheeks, bringing my gaze to hers.
“I can’t lose you,” I gasped. “Not you too. I already lost Phe and my dad.”
“What? Kingston, what are you talking about?” Her grip on my cheeks tightened, her face paling slightly.
“People are dropping like flies. The world is ending around us. I can’t say goodbye to anyone else. I can’t lose you again.”
I was full-on shaking now, my voice taking on a bit of a hysterical edge. I’m pretty sure I was on the brink of a full-blown mental break. I just could not seem to get my shit together.
“I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got you. I’m right here.” At some point, I must’ve sat on the bed because she crawled on and got behind me, wrapping her arms around me and holding me to her as tightly as she could. “Breathe with me. That’s it, baby. You’re okay.”
I focused on her, the sound of her voice, the rise and fall of her chest against mine, the way she called me baby. She’d always been the center of my fucking universe, but in that moment, she proved it. She was the only thing keeping me together.
Eventually my breaths evened out and the tremors racking my body ceased. “Fuck, I’m sorry.”
