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“Lots of things were supposed to happen,” I said. “But things change. People change. Or, at least, they show their true colors.”
Adam sighed, nodding as if he were conceding the point. “I have a proposal for you – talk to me for ten minutes. Ten minutes is all I ask, and if you don’t like what I have to say I’ll leave and go back to Chicago and never bother you again. Deal?”
Part of me wanted to tell him to screw off right then and there. But standing in front of Adam it was impossible not to think of him the way I once did, as a man I loved, a man I wanted to marry. I hated how weak I felt in that moment. I also realized why I’d left without speaking to him in person.
I sighed. “Fine. Ten minutes.”
A big, happy grin spread across his face. “You’re not going to regret it. But come on – let’s get out of the drizzle.” He nodded to a nearby corner park across the street. Together we made our way over and sat at a picnic table under the cover of the Bigleaf Maple that dominated the space. The tree cover was thick enough that the rain didn’t come through.
He set the bag on the table and placed his hands palm down. Then he took a big, slow breath, let it out, and began.
“I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry.” He shook his head. “What more can I say? I had the most amazing, most beautiful girl in the world living with me and I threw it away because I was greedy and selfish and angry. I was this close to marrying you, to being the luckiest man in the world, and I threw it away because I wanted more.”
He shook his head again, this time in disbelief.
“When you left, I was upset. Hell, I was upset before you left – and I’ve got a good feeling that’s why you finally went out the door.”
“It was,” I said. “But you know there was more to it than that. Don’t insult me by pretending you don’t know.”
Adam nodded, not trying to deny it.
“You’re right. The night before you left, the night before we had that awful argument where I lost my temper…I know why I was so mad.”
“And I know, too. You were mad because you got caught.”
“No. I was mad because you finding out and being a witness to what I was doing made me realize how screwed up and horrible it was to treat you the way I had.”
I didn’t know what to say. Adam had always been on the arrogant side, the sort of man to do whatever he wanted and if you didn’t like it, tough. That’s not how he was at that moment. He was apologizing. It was a side of Adam I’d never seen before.
“When you left, when the shock of you being gone wore off, all I had left was my regret, and shame because of how I’d treated you. I never want to feel that way again. More importantly, I never want you to feel the way that you did again. I’ll never forgive myself for treating you so badly. If you’ll give me the chance, I’ll spend my life trying to make it up to you.”
He went on, a smile spread across his face. “We could pick up from where we left off like nothing happened. We’d plan our wedding, get married, and live the life we’d always dreamed of. And…your art. God, I can’t believe how disrespectful I was of that.” He shook his head, a determined expression on his face. “Never again. I’d give you all you needed, all the time, the resources, to make your dreams of being an artist come true. All you’d need to do is…say yes.”
“What are you saying?”
He reached across the table and took my hand. I was too stunned to pull it back.
“I’m saying that I’m sorry. I’m saying that I want you to take me back, to give me another shot. I know I’m not a perfect man.” He chuckled wryly. “Hell, I’m far from it. But that’s what I realized about you, Deedee – you make me want to be a better man. I don’t deserve a woman like you, and when I decided to try this insane plan of coming back to Charmed Bay, I was prepared for the possibility that you might tell me to screw off.”
He paused, and I got the impression he was waiting for me to say it.
I didn’t, and I couldn’t figure out why. I had every right to, in fact, after what he’d done.
“Listen, this is a lot to take in, a lot to process. I’d love it if you opened your arms wide right here under this tree and took me back on the spot, but I’m not naïve enough to think that might happen. Instead, I want you to take some time. Think about it, alright? You have my number. I can’t wait to hear from you, one way or another.”
With that, he gave me a warm, understanding smile.
“Have some breakfast. I know you well enough to know you can’t turn down some strawberry pancakes. There’s coffee in there, too. Talk to you soon, Deedee.”
He didn’t say another word before getting up and leaving me alone. Not knowing what else to do, I turned to watch him make his way back to his car. The rain had picked up by that point, coming down a bit harder. Adam slipped into his car and drove off, disappearing around the next block.
Just like that, I was alone, left to sit and stew in the insane conversation I’d just had. Before Adam had spilled his guts, I’d been totally prepared to do exactly what he’d said, to tell him to screw off and leave me alone forever. After hearing him say his piece, however, I was…confused
He’d seemed contrite in a way I’d never seen him before, genuinely upset that he’d hurt me, ready to make things right. I wasn’t even sure that was the same man I’d been engaged to; it was almost creepy.
It would be easier to just go back with him, to pretend that everything he said was true. But even if it was true, did I want to go back to Chicago, back to that life, after having a taste of what life could be like in Charmed Bay?
And there were the Wolf brothers; the way I felt about them was unlike anything I’d known before – even with Adam. Then again, what the hell was I thinking? There were three of them and one of me. They’d said I didn’t have to pick one of them, but what did that even mean? What was I supposed to do, date three guys? Three guys who were brothers?
What the hell would Charmed Bay say about that? God, we’d have to move to Alaska and live in a cabin in the woods or something. As soon as I considered the words, the image of the four of us all living together in some secluded cabin appeared in my mind, the brothers dressed in flannels and boots and rugged jeans, the four of us getting nice and cozy by the fire as the snow drifted down…
I shook my head, putting it out of my mind as I grabbed the coffee from the bag, taking a sip as the rain came down. Things were complicated as all hell, but there was one thing I knew. I took my phone out of my bag and fired off a text to Clarissa, letting her know that I wouldn’t be coming in for breakfast.
I had some major thinking to do.
