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“No. I’m only here to get my things. Save your breath.”
He slammed his door and nearly clipped off my nose. I pressed on. “I’m sorry. I’m really truly sorry, alright? Vivian and me… I didn’t plan on anything happening. It just sort of did.”
All I could hear inside his room was shuffling and rummaging through drawers. I spoke a little louder to make sure I got through.
“I care about her, Wally. A lot. And fuck! I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but I haven’t felt this way about anyone in a really long time. Vivian’s… special.”
“I’mnotlistening,” my son shouted.
“I didn’t want you to find out the way you did. I swear, it was never my intention to hurt you.”
He yanked the door open furiously. “Hurt me? Do you have any idea how screwed up this all is? What the fuck did you think was going to happen, Dad? Were you going to sit me down at a family dinner and let me know that you’ve been screwing my ex behind my back and expect me to be okay with that?”
“No, that’s not—”
“Vivian’s still my friend, alright? I brought her to you because I thought she’d be safe.”
“You make me sound like a fucking predator.”
“I mean, sheishalf your age.”
“Don’t you fucking go there,” I hissed. “This was something that we both wanted. I didn’t mean to fall in love with her, alright? But I did and I don’t regret it. I want to keep her safe just as much as you do, so don’t—”
“You’re in love with her?” The question was deafening.
The words fell out of my mouth before I had a chance to think, but they rang true. I was in love with Vivian. I loved her more than I ever thought possible.
I nodded slowly. “I love her.”
Wally pressed his lips into a thin line. “And does she love you?”
“I don’t know.”
“Where is she?”
“I sent her away. She’s at a different location with another bodyguard.”
“Why?”
“Because when we saw how upset you were, we decided we weren’t going to work.”
My son shifted his weight from foot to foot, anxiously crossing his arms over his chest. “You sent her away because ofme?”
“She didn’t want to get in the way of family. And I wasn’t going to risk losing you, so…” I rubbed a hand over my face. I was weary to the bone. “So I sent her away. Because you’re the most important person in my life, Wally. I know I haven’t done a very good job of making that known, but you are. You’re my son. And if my being with Vivian makes you that upset, then I won’t see her anymore.”
Wally frowned. “But you love her.”
“Yes. But I love you, too.”
My son stood there for a long time, studying me from head to toe. He searched my face for something. A crack in my resolve, perhaps. Or maybe a hint that I might be lying, which I wasn’t.
“Does she make you happy?” he asked after a while.
“Yes,” I answered without hesitation. “Happier than I’ve been in a very long time. And it kills me that she isn’t here. But if you never want me to see her again—”
“No, don’t…” Wally sighed heavily. “Don’t do that.” He leaned against the door frame, glaring at his shoes. “I just… I thought you were just screwing around. I didn’t know you loved her.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
