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I’m not sure where the hell she got these outfits from; it’s almost like she was planning this trip for longer than she admits. She put me in a little pair of denim cutoffs and a white blouse that falls off one shoulder. I’m also wearing a pair of tan and aqua Ariat boots, my hair hanging in loose curls.
When I looked in the mirror before leaving the house, the first thought I had was that I looked like me. The old me, the naïve eighteen-year-old, who left this little country town without so much as a plan.
Unlike now. Now, I do have a plan. A plan, which involves sneaking out the back door of this pub and hitchhiking out of this town. I don’t care where I end up. I just know I need to get my mess away from Josh. I shouldn’t have come back here. He shouldn’t be dealing with my issues.
“Ella, can you promise me something?” I ask her.
“Depends on what it is,” she answers while sipping at her beer. With each sip, she screws her face up. She hates it, but refused to order anything else in a pub.
“Promise me you’ll look out for Josh when I’m not around anymore.”
Ella puts her drink down before gripping my hand. “You’re not going anywhere, Emily. I get that you think you probably need to, but please reconsider whatever it is you’re planning. Josh needs you just as much as you need him. Don’t do this to him, please.”
“I’m not planning anything; some things are just out of our control,” I lie. “I’ve gotta pee. Can you order me another beer please?” I ask her.
“Sure,” Ella says with a sad smile. I think she knows something. But how could she possibly know what I’m planning to do?
I give her the bright, fake smile I mastered in high school and head towards the bathroom. Once I make it to the hallway, I chuck a left and head through the back kitchen area. No one even looks in my direction as I beeline for the back door. My heart hammers the whole way.
What am I actually doing? I don’t want to leave. But I can’t stay either. I’m doing the right thing by Josh. I have to leave so he doesn’t get in trouble for me being around.
I push the heavy door open and step out into the alleyway. The door closes with a loud clanging sound of metal hitting metal. I get two steps down the alley before a hand wraps around my mouth and I’m pushed into the wall.
