AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Emily
Oh my God, I can’t believe how good this feels. I’ve never been on top before. I didn’t realise it would be so different. The kind of control I have right now is intoxicating. Josh is doing this for me. Handing the reins over, no matter how much I can see that he wants to take me. He’s letting me explore, letting me feel like I have a say in how this goes.
My hands slide up under his shirt. Why the hell is he still dressed? This needs to change. Pulling at the fabric, I tell him, “Lose the shirt, now!” My hands tug it up. He obliges.
“If I must.” He sits up slightly to pull the shirt over his head. His movements cause his cock to hit all different heights inside me. “Mmm, God.” I grind my pelvis down on him harder, little sparks of pleasure going right through me.
My fingertips trail up his abs to his shoulder and I push him back down. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I’ve dreamt about having my way with this body, and now I actually get to.
I run my hands over his shoulders, down his arms and back up again. Leaning over, I lick around one of his nipples, lightly biting down on it.
“Fuck, Emmy, goddamn,” he grunts out.
I pop my head up and smile. “You said anything!” I shrug my shoulders before ducking my head back down. I trail my tongue over the lines and swirls that mark his chest. When I reach the spot just over his heart—the spot with my name on it—I kiss it three times. One time for our past, one for the present, and one for the future I wish we could have.
Reaching his other nipple, I suck it into my mouth, biting down a little harder than the first time. I feel his cock twitch inside me so I do it again and again, as I start to move my hips up and down.
Sitting up straight, I pull his hands out from under his head. I need him touching me. I love seeing his tanned, tattooed skin against mine. I place his hands on my breasts. I don’t have to guide him on what else to do. He rolls my nipples between his fingers, twisting slightly. My back arches as I continue to glide up and down on his cock.
I’m so close to coming, goosebumps erupting on my body as the cold air hits the tiny beads of sweat. I feel like a thousand bolts of electricity are circulating through me, and each time I bottom out on him, a flame is igniting higher and higher.
It’s there. It’s so close I can see it—that release. I just can’t seem to reach it. I need something else, but I don’t know what. “Josh, I need… something,” I pant as I continue to chase my orgasm.
Josh sits up and repositions us with his back against the bed. His hand comes up to my throat and he squeezes lightly. It’s wrong, so wrong, to let him do that. It’s even more wrong that I fucking enjoy it. The moment his hand wraps around my throat, my pussy gushes liquid. I can feel it all down my thighs.
The next thing I know, my body is tightening up and my muscles spasm as I come undone. I think I’m screaming. I’m not really sure if it’s in my head, or if I’m actually making those noises. I don’t really care either way.
My pussy convulses around his cock, like it can’t get enough of him. I feel his cock get even bigger as it jerks inside me, painting my walls with his seed. As I come down from my high, I finally have enough brain cells working to notice that we have been having a lot of sex without protection. I’m trying to recall when I’m due for my birth control shot.
I collapse onto Josh’s chest. His hands stroke my hair, my mind reeling at trying to remember that bloody date. I can’t for the life of me remember. I should know this. The one time I stuffed up and forgot to get it, Trent made sure I learnt a lesson I’d never forget.
“I can hear you thinking. What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” Josh picks my head up, our eyes connecting. I shake my head no.
“No, I just… I can’t remember,” I tell him.
“Can’t remember what?”
“When I last had my birth control shot,” I say quietly. I wait for him to explode, for him to throw me off in disgust. He does none of that.
“That’s all you’re worried about?” He leans in and kisses me, ending the gesture way too soon. “Emmy, you know if you fall pregnant, we will be okay. You’d make a fucking great mother.”
“You’re not worried? Josh, we can’t have a baby. I can’t have a baby. I’m flat out looking after myself. How am I supposed to look after a baby?” I ask him.
“You have me. I love you. I’d never abandon you, Emmy. You wouldn’t be alone.”
“Do you even want kids, Josh?” There’s something about the way he’s phrasing his words that doesn’t sit well. He’s not talking about a child; he’s talking about me. He’d look after me. He wouldn’t leave me. But what about the hypothetical child who would be his as well?
“I want you, Emmy. It’s not that I don’t want kids. Because I want everything with you. But, let’s be honest, I’m not normal. What if I don’t love it, the baby? That’s a very real possibility. There is one person I’ve met in my whole life, Emily, who I can honestly say I love, and I’m looking at her.”
I think about what he’s saying. He really has no idea just how great he would be as a father. If I ever do get to have a child (which, let’s face it, that is not in my future), I wouldn’t want it to be with anyone other than him.
“Josh, you are more capable of love than you give yourself credit for. You do love other people. There’s your brother, your mum. Ella. It’s not just me.” I don’t know how to get him to see how much he does love other people too.
“No, I might care about them a little. But it’s not love, Emily. What I feel for you is different; it’s more intense. I’ve never had that with anyone else.”
“It’s meant to be different. But that doesn’t mean you don’t love them. I loved my parents too, but not the same way I love you. With you, it’s like you consume me, like every fibre of my being comes to life when I’m around you. I feel like I can do anything, be anything, with you. With my parents, I was heartbroken when each of them died. But the thought of something happening to you, I wouldn’t survive that kind of loss. There wasn’t a day that went by over the last four years that I didn’t want to call you. That I wasn’t thinking about you. Thoughts of you got me through some of my darkest moments.”
I’m not sure I will ever be able to tell him all the details of what I’ve done, but he does deserve to know that he is loved, unconditionally, by me. That no one will ever measure up to him.
