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“Why do I feel like you’re telling me the truth?”
“Because I always do and always will tell you the truth. Emmy, you watched me shoot someone in our apartment. You’ve never once questioned me about it or looked at me differently. Why do you think I would love you any less?”
“I know you, Josh, and that’s crazy, considering our history. But I know your soul, and it’s not bad. I can’t answer why what you do to others doesn’t bother me. It just doesn’t.” I shrug.
“Good, because I will stop at nothing to make sure you are safe.”
* * *
I’mjolted awake as I feel my body being lifted. “Shh, it’s okay. I’ve got you,” Josh says. I let my head fall onto his chest momentarily before my brain makes the connection that he’s carrying me.
“Wait. I’m awake. Put me down.” I wiggle around, which only makes his arms hold me tighter.
“No.”
“Josh, don’t be ridiculous. Put me down. I can walk. You don’t need to carry me.”
“I know I don’t need to. I want to, so I am.”
“Look, I didn’t want to say this, but you’re making me. You should really take better care with your back; you’re not getting any younger. You should probably leave the heavy lifting to the young folk.”
“Are you calling me old, Emmy?” He laughs.
“If the shoe fits.” I smile up at him.
“You do know we are the same age, right? Also, I’m more than happy to prove to you just how much vitality this body of mine still has.”
“We are the same age, which is why I know how old you are. I’m pretty sure I saw a grey hair yesterday.”
Josh stops abruptly. “Babe, that’s not something to joke about. Where was it? It’s probably just dust. I am not going grey. There’s no fucking way.” Shaking his head, he continues walking, pressing the button for the lift with his elbow.
“I meant on me. I saw a grey hair on me, not you. I didn’t know you were so vain. Are you really worried about a grey hair?”
“On me, yes. On you, not at all. In fact, I can’t wait to see you old and wrinkly with a full head of grey hair.”
“That’s weird. Do you have a granny fetish I should know about?” Josh laughs as the doors to the lift open and he steps in. Turning back around to face the door, he shifts all of my weight into one arm so he can use his thumbprint to send the lift to the penthouse.
Huh, I wonder if my thumb would do that?
“I don’t have a granny fetish. I have an Emmy fetish. Everything Emmy turns me the fuck on. But mostly, I’m looking forward to seeing you old and grey because it will mean we’d have had a whole life together.”
“Will we be sitting on rocking chairs next to each other on the porch of an old cabin?”
“We will be doing whatever it is you want to be doing, Em.”
“Mmm, well, I think that when we are old, I want to be sitting on a porch in a rocking chair while we watch our grandchildren play in the yard.” I don’t tell him that I can’t see how we can ever have that future—the dream. Instead, I do what I’m good at. I pretend. I pretend that Josh and I have a future together, that we will have a soccer team of kids and more grandchildren than we can count.
We’ll spend holidays watching the brumbies run free and wild at the cabin we just spent a whole week in. If I had it my way, we’d be going back there. Out in the middle of nowhere, just the two of us. And all the horses of course.
Josh finally lets me down when he walks into the penthouse, holding me until he’s sure I have my footing.
Josh looks around the room, his jaw tightening the more his head turns.
“Come on, I think you need to rest,” he says, grabbing my hand and tugging me towards the bedroom. With his free arm, he pulls his phone out of his pocket and starts typing on it one-handed.
When we get into the bedroom, he escorts me straight into the walk-in closet, closing the door behind him. He places his finger up to his lips, indicating for me to keep quiet.
I don’t know what’s going on. Panic starts to kick in as I take note of Josh’s posture, his taut jaw clenched. His eyes stormy blue, a cold, calculating look to them. Yet, I’m not scared of him. He looks like he’s ready to pounce on anything that’s willing to jump out at him.
I don’t understand why he makes me feel so safe. I should be looking for a way out of this closet. Instead, I’m standing here, waiting for his next instruction. If I’m honest with myself though, I’d follow Josh into the pits of Hell if it meant I’d get to stay with him.
