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“Oh?”
“But as the day wore on, I found it impossible to stay away. I needed to see you.” He frowned. “Knowing what that medal meant to you, I…I can’t explain it, but I needed to be here, when you won it.”
“Why?”
“Good question. I’ve been wondering that same thing. Do you want to know what I came up with?”
She looked at him then, eyes meeting, sparks flying. “What?” The word was angrier than she’d intended, but she was sick of being jerked around, sick of being made to feel as though he wanted her and then didn’t. She planted her hands on her hips, staring at him belligerently.
“I realised that I had to be with you. That for any important event in your life, for anything that matters to you, I want to be by your side.” He frowned. “And then, I realised that wasn’t right. It’s not just the big stuff. The important stuff. It’s the every day things. I’ve missed six weeks of mornings with you, of waking up and seeing you smile as the sunlight catches your hair, six weeks of not being able to make you breakfast, or helping you stretch, six weeks without being able to reach out and touch you, to make you laugh, to drive you wild. I don’t just want to be here for your big moments, but for all your moments, every single one of them.”
Her lips parted, forming a perfect circle. Caution sounded inside her mind. “Leonidas, I don’t know what you mean.”
“When I was a boy, I learned that love hurts. That love is a force that can turn on you in an instant and leave you utterly bereft. I never consciously decided to run from that, to choose a life without love, but that’s what I’ve done anyway. I’ve assiduously avoided commitment, avoided relationships, avoided anything approaching commitment because I have hated the risks it would have exposed me to.”
She made a soft gargled sound, angling her face away so she could process the admission. It made so much sense.
“But I’m not the only one. You were hurt too, Mila. Your mom made you feel like an inconvenience. Your father chose not to acknowledge you, Benji’s parents didn’t want to be in your life. You have faced rejection and still you were brave enough to recognise what was going on between us, to reach for it with both hands.”
He was right. She had waded through all of her doubts and fears to speak up for what really mattered.
“You were so much braver than I was.”
She bit down on her lip. “I just told you what I was feeling.”
“But the important thing is that you admitted your feelings to yourself. I have run from mine. I have pushed them away. I have spent every day trying to ‘move on’ from you, until yesterday, I realised there is no moving on. Just as the earth is caught in the sun’s gravity, I too am in yours, and I can’t escape that. I can’t avoid it.” He cleared his throat. “I don’t want to run any longer.”
The final sentence was said with quiet determination. Her skin lifted in goosebumps.
“I see.” She didn’t. She thought she knew where he was going, but didn’t want to allow her hopes to lift. Not yet.
“I’ve run from love all my life and honestly, I genuinely thought that was a choice I had. The truth is, I’ve never met anyone like you before, little thief. I’ve never really had to run from love because I wasn’t close to feeling it, until I met you. That first night, when you hit me over the head with a rolling pin, you got right into my heart, and it’s never going to be possible for you to get out.” He paused. “I don’t want you to get out. I love you, so much, and if you’ll let me, I will love you every single day for the rest of our lives.”
She spun away from him, lifting a hand to her heart as she walked towards the windows and stared down at the city. Stars filled her eyes as her heart burst.
“I know it’s six weeks too late,” he muttered. “I know I probably ruined everything in Greece. I was so stupid, panemorfi, so unforgivably stupid. The truth is, you became a part of me, and you always will be. The question I have is whether I’m still a part of you. Whether you want me to stay, or go.” He paused. “I’ll do whatever you wish.”
She spun slowly, eyeing him from across the room. All her hopes and dreams collided with her hurt and sadness, so she pulled on her lower lip, staring at him for several seconds. She knew how she felt, but she couldn’t resist the chance to make him sweat, just the smallest amount.
“So if I ask you to leave,” she prompted, eyeing him cautiously.
“I’ll go. My heart will always be yours, but I won’t stay in your life. I understand that I hurt you, badly. I know you might choose never to let me hurt you again.”
“I don’t want to be hurt,” she whispered agreement, gripping the windowsill behind her. “But I don’t want to live without you either.”
He stared at her, trying to understand what she meant.
“I’ve tried that. It’s not for me.”
He made a dark, guttural noise. “Are you saying—,”
She didn’t help him out. She waited for him to find words. Even then, needing just that last little bit of reassurance.
“Are you saying you’re in?” He asked, quickly crossing the room but stopping just short of her.
“In what?”
“This life, with me. Side by side, for always and ever.”
