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“Atonement?” She said with a small shake of her head. “Are you trying to undo the damage you perceive you caused me? Or the pain your father caused your mother? Or perhaps to address the pain you were caused by repeated rejections?”
He flinched and she took an unkind pleasure in that.
“I am trying to write a new future for us, one that avoids any more pain and separation.”
“There is pain in togetherness too,” she murmured, and with her new understanding, the words took on increased importance. “But at least it’s honest.”
“Do you think what we shared just now is anything but honest?”
Her laugh was a withering rejection. “You’re the one who keeps saying that’s just sex. How is that honest? Our bodies behave as though we mean something to each other when we both know that’s not true.”
His eyes bore into hers as though trying to read the truth of her soul. “We’re parents.”
“We will be parents,” she agreed with a curt nod. “And we’ll raise our child separately, as many, many others have done before us. Just like we agreed.”
But his eyes flashed and she felt the wind shift, the imposing truth of his birthright and power wrapping around her. “I no longer wish to divorce you.”
Her eyes flared to his. “We have a deal.”
“Had. It no longer makes sense to me.”
Millie’s jaw dropped. “Well,” she said with a bravado she didn’t feel. “That’s tough, because we signed a contract.”
He shrugged. “And we can tear it up”
“No, we can’t.”
“Are you kidding? I’m Sheikh of Abu Qara. Do you think there’s anything within this country’s borders I cannot do?”
Her jaw dropped. “But…why?”
He crossed his arms over his broad chest, staring her down. “I am no longer convinced a separation is in either of our interests, that’s why.”
Millie found it almost impossible to speak, certainly to gather her wits. “You don’t get to make that decision unilaterally.” She dragged her nightgown on because it felt completely surreal to be having this argument while she was naked. “I’m not going to stay married to you, and that’s final.”
“And yet whenever I touch you, you turn to fire. Do you realise how easy it would be to change your mind?”
She did. Oh, how she did! And he knew it too! Pride lay in tatters at her feet. “Are you suggesting you keep me chained to your bed until I acquiesce?” She snarled sarcastically.
“Though the idea holds some appeal, I don’t think it would take anything quite so severe.” And he pulled her closer, kissing her before she could say anything, kissing her until a little moan escaped her lips and a moment later she was whispering his name. What did she want from him? Everything was a cloud.
But when he lifted his head to stare into her eyes, she realised – belatedly – how foolish she was. “See?” He traced her lower lip with a slow-moving finger. “A single kiss is all it takes to remind us both of how much you want me.”
And for the first time in Millie’s life, she lifted a hand and struck a person out of anger, a fierce, vehement rage that coursed through her veins. “You are such a bastard,” she threw at him, fumbling for her shawl even as she moved quickly away from him. The moon caught her face, casting her features into a mask of pain, so Zafar was completely still.
“Do not touch me again,” she said firmly. “Not because you think I want you to, not to make a point, not for any reason. Whatever power you think you wield over me, you should be ashamed of yourself for using it this way. I have told you that sex for the sake of sex is the last thing I want and you should respect that. Damn it, you should respect me.”
“I do respect you,” he growled.
“Oh, yeah? I can tell,” she rolled her eyes, but the effect was somewhat lessened by the way she was quivering. “Would you really want me as your wife anyway, Zafar? A woman you bullied into staying married to you? A woman you’d blackmailed into your life and bed? A woman who will always despise you?”
His head recoiled a little, as though she’d slapped him once more.
“I hate you,” she finished, angry, devastated and confused beyond bearing. And before he could respond, Millie made a noise of exasperation and spun around, stalking back towards their tent. The whole way there, she expected him to reach for her, to spin her around and apologise or explain, to say something to fix it, but he didn’t. He didn’t return to the tent that night and Millie told herself she was glad.
Zafar calledfor the helicopter at daybreak. He gave curt instructions for Amelia to be transported back to the palace. She didn’t argue with him. Hell, what did he expect? Of course she wanted to get away from him. What the hell had he become?
You should be ashamed for using your power over me. I hate you. I will always despise you.
