Page 42 of Sick Crush


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“I tried really hard not to lie to you,” she said.

I opened the door wide, feeling crazed. “You tried hard not to lie? How can you stand here and say that? You made me believe you had a stalker. You made me think that Kevin was the culprit. You had me get the police involved!”

She shook her head slowly. “No,” her voice was so low it sounded close to a whisper, “you did that. I didn’t want you to call the police. I also told you that Kevin didn’t do anything wrong.”

If there was ever a chance of me having an aneurysm in my lifetime, it would have happened right then and there. “Are you going to stand there and act like you did nothing wrong?”

She looked down at the ground, then back up at me. “I won’t apologize for forcing our cards. Was it wrong? Yes. Did I deceive you? Yes. But the end result is you and I found each other, and you can’t deny that those feelings are there.”

“Those feelings were built on the delusions of a mentally unstable woman.”

“I’m as stable as you and as stable as anyone else. There’s a fine line between lunacy and love. I admit that I balance on it.”

“You stalked me, Corrine. Can’t you see how crazy that is?”

She shook her head. “I saw what I wanted, and I made it happen. You may not like how I did it—and I apologize for that—but the end result was we got a chance to experience being together when circumstances of life may never have allowed it.”

Jesus… she was starting to make sense.

I actually was listening to the madness.

Her voice intoxicated me.

Her beauty lulled me in.

No. No. No.

“What exactly is your planned endgame?” I asked. “Do you really believe we can be together after this?”

“Why not?”

I laughed maniacally. “Why are you acting like this is all normal? You hunted me and I fell in your trap. But I sure as hell won’t remain in your cage.”

“I’m not going to let you make it sound like you and I weren’t forming a connection. I didn’t misread that.”

“Of course you didn’t. There was something,” I admitted, hating that I could be adding fuel to her inferno of delusion. “Which is why I’m so fucking pissed. I was a fool. I risked everything for… a ruse.” I took a deep breath feeling like the hallway we stood in narrowed with every inhale and exhale. “I’m lucky your mother is not trying to have me fired. She should. She should demand my resignation.”

Corrine took a cautious step closer and placed her hand on my chest. “I’m asking for your forgiveness. I apologize for not being the one to tell you. I can only imagine what it felt like.”

“Get out now,” I demanded. I needed clarity, and this girl was nothing but murky water. “Now, Corrine, or so help me God, I will pick you up and throw you out.”

18

Corrine

Day Two:

He needs time.

I’ll be patient.

I’ll wait.

But I will watch him closely as he changes his mind.

19

Corrine

Day Three:

He will love me.

He just doesn’t know it yet.

20

Corrine

Day Four:

I haven’t been back to school. He thinks I’ve left for L.A… maybe I should.

Maybe I… no… he misses me.

I can tell.

21

Corrine

Day Five:

I’m alone.

I’m scared.

I fucked up.

Will he ever forgive me?

22

Corrine

That Shelly chick better not show up tonight. I would cut a bitch… okay, not really, but I may slash her tires or something.

Does he miss me?

23

Corrine

“You need to stop camping outside my house, Corrine,” Mr. D said as he surprised me by approaching my car window from behind.

I had jumped and nearly screamed because I had no idea that he knew I’d been outside, watching, waiting. I wasn’t going to just give up.

“You haven’t been to school all week,” he said. “I thought you were going to go back to L.A.”

I shook my head. “It’s even more of a mess in L.A. than it is here. At least here, I have you.”

“You don’t have me,” he said, though his voice wasn’t nearly as angry as it had been a few days ago. Was he forgiving me? “You never did. There was no you and me.”

“You know that’s a lie,” I said, confident that what I desired was not that far off from what he wanted. “You said it yourself. You said I was easy to talk to. That I was fun to be around. You said I deserved love.”

“You do deserve love,” he said.

“Then why are you turning me away?”

“You know why.”

“Do you really think I’m some crazy stalker?” I asked.

He laughed. “Are you not? Where have you been for the past week? Oh I know… here. Stalking.”

I shrugged. “Okay… maybe I am. But I’m not dangerous or truly psycho.” I studied how he just casually stood by my car. It was true. All anger had left him. “You aren’t afraid of me, are you?”

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