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Instead of getting as rough as I thought he might, he took my mouth again. Kissing me hard. Kissing me deeply. Kissing me until I was breathless once more.
He railed my ass over and over, the drag of his cock over my prostate making my precum leak at a quicker pace, smearing the silky fluid between us and all over our skin. The way his weight pressed on my erection alone might actually make me come again.
With every one of his thrusts, I matched the motion, sliding my cock between the press of our bodies. Until I teetered along a very sharp edge.
One wrong move… No, one right move and I’d be gone.
And of course, that next move was all it took. I came and made a mess all over again.
After ripping my mouth from his, my lungs heaved as I gulped air. Chase’s hips weren’t the only thing pumping, so was his chest. He was struggling to breathe just as much as I was. But his was short, shallow pants. I could see it in his eyes—even though now he was avoiding mine—that he was almost there himself.
Once he clenched his teeth together and grimaced, I knew that was all he wrote…
He surged up, propping himself on his arms, closed his eyes, dropped his head forward, thrust two more times and when he blew out a rush of air, he came.
Every muscle tensed as he remained deep inside me, the sensitive nerves that surrounded my hole letting me know when his cock finished pulsing, when he was done coming.
Even after that, he stayed fully seated for surprisingly longer than I expected.
Was he afraid to pull out or was it that he was trying to hang on to that connection as long as possible? It could be a combination of both.
I waited patiently, leaving it up to him to move when he was ready since I was fine where I was. I didn’t mind his weight on me and my only urge was to tuck my fingers under his chin and lift his face so I could see more of it. See if I could read what he was feeling because I had no doubt he was hiding it.
Of course, that wasn’t shocking, even though a bit disappointing.
When he finally lifted his head, his expression was guarded and his jaw shifted sharply. Maybe he was masking his guilt of allowing himself this, this moment with me. Someone other than the person he loved with all his heart.
Because that part was obvious.
No matter what, tonight was a huge step for him. Two years was a long time to be stuck in hell, so I hoped what we did tonight would help break the cycle of him flip-flopping back and forth from depression to anger and push him into the next stage of grief: acceptance.
Not that I had the balls big enough to think that having sex with me wielded that much power. My ego wasn’t that inflated.
Speaking of inflated… Chase’s cock was beginning to do the opposite. Soon he would have no choice but to pull out and take care of business.
When he shifted, I murmured, “Hold on,” and twisted my torso as much as I could toward the nightstand, since my lower half was still pinned beneath his solid weight.
Snagging the box of tissues with one finger, I slid it toward me. As soon as I could get a good hold of it, I flopped back to the bed and held the box up for him. “You’re going to need these.”
Without a word, he pulled a few tissues from the box, then slowly slid out of me and removed the condom, carefully tucking it into a tissue and using the rest to wipe himself off.
I needed to do the same but not where I currently was. I rolled from the bed, taking the towel with me so I wouldn’t leave anything behind and went into the attached bathroom to clean up.
Quickly going through the motions, I wiped away the excess lube and cleaned myself off, worried that before I was done and went back out, Chase might have hightailed it out of my apartment.
I held my breath while opening the bathroom door and released it as soon as I saw Chase still there. In my room. Actually sitting on the end of the bed with his eyes on me.
Still without saying a damn thing, he got up and moved around me to head into the bathroom as I exited. All while making sure to avoid us touching.
While he was in the bathroom, I yanked on my boxers and sat cross-legged in the middle of the bed, waiting. I had no idea what would happen next. Where we would go from this point.
He could stay. He could go.
I wasn’t going to push him either way. I would give him enough space for him to figure out what he wanted on his own. He needed to be the one willing to take this journey of healing and acceptance. I was willing to help him along the way but I couldn’t force him.
