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I wanted to say she was full of shit, but I knew that wasn’t likely the case.
With the right people and method, I’m sure it could be done. Worse, Mel and Grace had already been dragged into this.
“Why do we have to forget?” I asked quietly.
“His true intentions will break you in the end if he doesn’t kill you himself. You’re not going to let that happen.”
“What do you know about his intentions?”
She didn’t elaborate, simply took a few more bites of her food. I was beginning to understand something had happened at some point between her and the Belairs. That didn’t give her the right to project her trauma onto me.
It didn’t erase the fact she dumped my sister somewhere to be killed. She spoke about her in the past tense, I refused to believe she was dead. It wasn’t a possibility I was willing to accept.
As for Ciaran, I knew he wasn’t being wholly honest with me from the beginning, but he would never kill me. He made me feel safe whenever I was by his side. This entire time he was making sure I would survive.
My conflict came with the knowledge she wanted the same thing. Everyone was lying and hiding something. They wanted me for different reasons, and I only wanted freedom. No, that wasn’t entirely true. I couldn’t say I didn’t want him too.
As if sensing the direction of my thoughts, Pandora studied me with something that looked like sadness in her eyes. “At least you won’t remember the heartbreak.” With a quick exhalation, she composed herself and motioned to the pill bottle. “You can take one after you finish eating or I can call in the men waiting outside to give you the first dose. I hope we can do this the easy way. I don’t want you in pain even if it will be forgotten.”
She was so adamant someone was going to get inside my head and remove the things they had no rights to. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t somewhat terrified. My mind had always been my own. It’s what made me who I was.
Arguing this seemed to be a moot point, she’d already come to a decision and was waiting for me to make mine. Robotically, I reached for my fork again, giving her my answer without words. I knew this wasn’t a battle I could win, but that didn’t mean I’d lose the war. No matter what happened to me I held firm to the belief that I would never fully lose myself.
Melantha and Gracelyn, there was no way they’d break them either. Mel was one of the strongest people I knew, and Grace never got enough credit. I only hoped this didn’t destroy the part of her I wanted to protect.
They’d been dragged into this mess because of me. I don’t think that was a guilt that could ever be erased. Some things stuck with you, always.
That brought small comforts from what my family didn’t seem to know. They didn’t have any idea of who I really was. It would be a grave lapse of judgement if they truly believed I’d become what they wanted me to be. I would never accept a delusive destiny.
Matters of the soul were even riskier. You couldn’t take that away from someone or change their genetic makeup. It seemed I was born with tragedy in my blood. That could be as much of a blessing as it was a curse. When it came time for me to bleed, I would turn their whole world upside down and use it as a throne.
There was one person I could count on to help me when all was said and done. Someone I knew I’d never truly forget.
Ciaran Belair
He had my heart in the palm of his murderous hands. By everything tainted and maleficent, we’re forever bonded.
He promised he’d never let me go.
I believed him.
CHAPTER TEN
I watched her from a distance.
She glanced at me once when she did a sweep of her surroundings, but it was nothing but a passing glance as she pushed a cart down the travel aisle, walking in my direction. There was a tattoo on her arm that she hadn’t had before.
Someone had covered the scar she’d gotten from Judicium. It had been faint, but I suppose her parents didn’t want her to notice it was there. That would require a backstory of where it came from.
I let myself drink in the sight of her as I had been from the time she resurfaced. She was healthy and fit.
I could probably bounce change off her ass. Her physical attributes hadn’t been altered in any way besides those few things.
She was as breathtaking to me as she’d always been. I resisted the urge to drag her ass out of this store and lock her away. There was too much at stake for that. While she’d been hidden away from our world, it still kept turning.
