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“Okay, so it’s time to be straight with you,” I tell him, trying to sort it all out in my brain.
“Fuck, I’m waiting to see this miracle before I get my hopes up,” he says.
“You’re not exactly helping me over there. In case you couldn’t tell, this isn’t easy for me and you being Mr. Pissy Pants is making it worse.”
“Mr. Pissy Pants?”
“If the Depends fits you should wear them.”
“You’re as fucking looney tunes as your aunt with the cow.”
“That’s not nice—”
“I—”
“—though probably true,” I continue, ignoring his interruption. “I mean… I think it’s pretty clear.”
“I wish to God I could say that,” he growls.
“What kind of sane woman leaves a really bad relationship—and when I say bad I mean really bad—to end up married by Elvis in an all-night wedding chapel in Vegas? Right? She would have to be insane. You could have claimed that on your annulment papers and I wouldn’t have had to sign them.”
“Faith, no offense, woman, but I got a man outside who probably is gunning for my life. A fiancée that I may not have feelings for, but the two of us had a deal and you are causing waves in that deal, so I need to talk to her. There’s a preacher outside, a room full of people and most of those are not my people. All of this means we need to get a move on with this conversation. So can you try to stay focused and give me what you needed to give me, so I can go out and see to shit I need to see to?”
“You could go talk to them first if you want. You and I could have our talk afterwards. Now that I think about it, that might be for the best. It will give me more time to figure out what I want to say.”
“Jesus. Woman, just tell me. What the fuck did you lie to me about and why does it even matter now that we’re divorced?”
“Technically we’re annulled.”
“Faith—”
“Okay fine! I lied when I said there was no way I could be pregnant. I mean, I thought there wasn’t. I was on birth control. But, I guess… maybe… Somehow it didn’t work.”
“What the fuck are you saying?” he says and he’s a man of color and that color is gorgeous, but I’m pretty sure it’s much paler than normal right now.
“Titan… I’m pregnant,” I tell him, and I say the words avoiding his face, but when he doesn’t reply, I can’t resist looking up.
His face is filled with shock and anger… That’s definite anger I see.
Shit. This isn’t going to go good at all. I’m going to kill my aunt and Black!
Well, if I survive Titan.
thirty
faith
“Are you okay?” Hope asks again, for like the hundredth time. I haven’t really answered her once yet. I guess out of all the reactions I imagined from Titan, I wasn’t prepared for… Silence.
“He… didn’t say anything to me,” I whisper, admitting the truth that has my stomach in knots.
“It’s going to be okay, Faith. I promise it will be,” Hope says and then she does something that I love, something that rarely happens, because we were never taught to be that way. She wraps her arms around me and pulls my head to her chest and lets me cry.
That’s the exact moment I realize it too. I’m crying. I have no idea how long I’ve been crying. It probably began when Titan stared at me and then turned and walked away without a word. It might have been when Aden, Black and Gavin came in the room without Titan and gently got me out of the church. They were sweet, their faces troubled and they ushered me through the back—away from the crowd.
“Did he get married?” I ask, letting the tears fall and deciding it’s okay to be weak at least once.
“No, honey. He called the wedding off. Aden says he was about to before you came to the church.”
“Oh… You’re right, Hope. I am a screw-up,” I confess, lying back on the bed, suddenly feeling exhausted.
“You are not,” Hopes argues, and she does it lying back on the bed too. That’s when a memory pops up of the three of us sisters hugging on Hope’s small bed during a really bad storm. Mom and Dad were fighting—as they often did—and the thunder and lightning was kind of terrifying, especially for three young girls. I don’t know when we lost that closeness we used to have—but I will admit I’ve missed it.
“I married my one-night stand and…”
“And… you’re going to have a beautiful baby,” Hope interrupts me.
“I might be a little scared. I know next to nothing about kids. Mom wasn’t exactly a great teacher.”
“Faith—”
“I’m going to ruin this baby’s life, Hope!” I cry and let my sobs take me over.
