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HE REALLY THOUGHT HE had her fooled. A bit of air. She had thought he would come up with something better than that. But then he didn’t know about her father. He didn’t know she had spent years listening to excuses and apologies and justifications.
He glanced at her over his shoulder. “Me head—”
“Is fine. I know where you’re going. I know what you want. I’m asking you not to do it.”
His brow clouded as anger swept into his eyes. The anger made them look paler and grayer. “I just want a bit of air. Nothing wrong with a man taking a bit of air.” He sounded perfectly reasonable. Not a hint of defensiveness in his tone. How many times had he lied like this to have become so skilled at it?
“Are you lying to me or yourself?”
He closed the door, and she breathed a little. “What are you accusing me of, lass?” There was the defensiveness. Just a hint, but she heard it.
“I was there, Callahan. I had my hand on your shoulder the entire time. I know what you were feeling. Your body was as tight as a violin string, and I could feel the fast beat of your pulse. That game of vingt-et-un excited you.”
“I like a game of cards.”
“So you told me. You have a problem refusing a game of cards.”
“I stopped tonight.”
“You don’t want to stop! You want to find another game.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
It was unnerving how easily he lied. He had no tell, not even a scrap of shame. “Then take me with you. I could use a bit of air.”
“Don’t you see, lass? I need a bit of space from you. How many nights am I to lie in that bed, with you beside me, and keep me hands to meself?”
A flash of heat rippled through her at his words. He still wanted her. Did he imagine kissing her and touching her like she imagined doing all that and more to him? She folded her arms, a last effort at resisting him. “Don’t blame me for this, Callahan. I didn’t make you play, and if you go out tonight, God knows when you’ll return and what shape you’ll be in. We’ll miss our meeting with MacDonald and the mission will be ruined.”
“The mission!” he exploded. “Christ Jaysus, but if I have to hear one more word about the mission!”
Someone pounded on the wall, but they both ignored it.
“That’s why we’re here, isn’t it? Wait. No, money is why you’re here. Except, do you know what, Callahan Kelly?” She lowered her arms and stomped over until she was nose-to-nose with him. “I don’t think you came here because of money.”
He looked down at her, his eyes no longer so gray. “Why do you think I came?” he asked, his voice almost a whisper.
“Redemption.”
He laughed, low and quiet. “There’s no redemption for someone like me.”
“Not if you go out there tonight. Not if you give in to the need that’s eating you up inside right now.”
He took a breath and then another. “What do you know about it?”
“Nothing but what I’ve observed. But I’m a good listener. Share it with me.”
He took his head in both hands and seemed to press it together at the temples. “I don’t need talk. Talk won’t help.”
She closed her hands on his wrists and looked up at his anguished face. “Then tell me what you need.”
His eyes opened, deep blue now. “This,” he said. He lowered his mouth to hers, and she knew what he would do. She wanted him to do that and more. Oh, she told herself the kiss was justified because it was the only way to keep him from falling back into his former life. The only way to save the mission.
It wasn’t true. The mission would survive, but how would she save herself? When it was all over, who would save her from the pain of having given everything to this man?
When his lips brushed over hers, surprisingly light and undemanding, she gave in. Consequences be damned. She wanted him, and he wanted her.
He needed her. And Bridget feared that she would always need him.
