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“You shouldn’t. It’s a good quality to have. I wish I knew how to be as open as you. Maybe if I did, my life wouldn’t be such a mess.”
Why? What happened in your life?
Tell me. Tell me. Tell me, I wanted to beg.
“It ain’t too late to change. I’m a good listener.”
He shook his head like I knew he would. Emerson looked at me, pinned me with his stare, so I waited, knowing something was coming. I just didn’t know what. “You’re a good man, Sam. I hope you know that. I can tell you not to feel guilty, because you shouldn’t. Because it’s not your fault, and you can’t force people to change. But I can’t make you believe that, even though it’s true. I don’t bullshit, and I wouldn’t say it otherwise. No one else could have gotten me here with them like this. You’ve spent your life putting everyone else ahead of yourself, and you deserve more. If I were a better man, I’d make sure everyone in your life knew that, but I don’t know how—how to be that. You make me wish I could, though, and that…that’s different. You’re right about me drawing the lines when you come, but what I don’t think you realize is that it’s not just you I’m reminding; it’s myself.”
My damn heart thudded. I stared at him, unable to believe he said those words, that he felt them. I wondered what they meant, and what had hurt him, and how I could show him that he was better and deserved more too.
“Let’s get cleaned up so I can get you fed, and then you can help me with the animals.”
Emerson stood, and I did the same. He went into his room, and I closed myself in the bathroom, more determined than ever to get close to him.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Emerson
“We should get in the hot tub tonight,” Sam said after we’d had dinner and taken care of the animals. He seemed lighter than he had when he first arrived, but I didn’t know if that was real or not. I thought maybe it was. He’d perfected his facade over the years, but I also believed it was his natural inclination to look on the bright side. To seek out happiness because even though he’d had his fair share of sadness, Sam had too much light inside him to linger in the shadows I’d made my home.
“Should we, now?” I asked.
“Yep, we should. It’s already dark. We can get naked, look up at the stars, maybe fool around a bit. That last part is just an idea. Totally up to you.”
I chuckled. “I’m not sure I’ve ever had as many orgasms as I’ve had with you.”
“My claim to fame.” He winked. “Take your clothes off, and get in the hot tub with me. Since it’s still hot out, we’ll turn the temperature down so we don’t cook our insides. If you don’t do it, I’ll start throwin’ another temper tantrum. You think earlier was bad…you ain’t seen nothin’ yet. I can have a fit with the best of ’em.”
Jesus, he was a handful, but I liked it. In those moments I could almost forget all the other stuff. “You’re spoiled, do you know that?”
Sam shot out of the kitchen chair and did an exaggerated cheer. I laughed, shaking my head. He was something else.
“Go get it ready, and I’ll get us some drinks.”
I poured two cups of sweet tea and got some of the chopped fruit out because Sam was always hungry. By the time I made it out back, he was naked, his tight ass facing me, while he danced around, dodging a goat on his way to the hot tub.
“Stop it. Leave me alone. Only your daddy gets to play with that.” He grabbed his dick and ran. The goat went after him, and damned if a loud, vibrating laugh didn’t jump from my mouth. “Call him off me! It ain’t funny. You get a lotta pleasure out of my goods. What are you gonna do if he bites it off?” He hopped over the short fence into the gated area I’d built around the hot tub to keep the animals away from it. The goat stood on the other side, watching him. “Stop looking at me like that. You’re not my type.”
Another chuckle fell from my lips. The goat didn’t leave, just stood on his back legs, front ones on the fence. I walked to Sam, set the cups on the deck next to the tub, and stroked Sam’s soft cock. “He has good taste.”
“Clearly, but I’m not interested. You can touch me if you want.”
“Oh, can I? How lucky for you.”
“Get your clothes off. God, I love bein’ naked. Especially outside like this and with a sexy man joining me.” He winked, then jumped on the deck.
