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I didn’t have to think about the words, they were just there and I was saying them. “Maybe it’s something we can do together…” She frowned, clearly confused, and I could understand why. “I’m sure you know about my past, what I was accused of. I give you my word that I didn’t do it. I’m sure that’s not enough, but it’s all I have. After what happened, I never let myself heal. I jumped in my car, drove, and settled in Ryland. I was closed off to the world before Sam. I was slowly killing myself. And now I want more, not just for him, but for me.”
She was watching me, questions and maybe some understanding in her gaze.
“I made some phone calls. If you’ll let me, I would like to pay for your program. I have a friend who can get you into a really good program in Tennessee.”
Her eyes widened. “I can’t… Why would you… That’s too much.”
“Please. For Sam.” She started crying again, her hands shaking as she tried to wipe her tears away. She didn’t have to say yes for me to know it was her answer. I grabbed the box of Kleenex and handed them over before I continued. “I have my own stuff I need to work through too. I haven’t figured out all the logistics yet because I don’t know where Sam and I will be, but I’m going to start therapy. I’ve never done something like that before, but I think I need to.”
She gave me a small smile. “I think that’s very brave.”
“I’m not sure about that.”
“I am,” she replied, and maybe, maybe she was right. Everyone’s moment of courage and bravery was different, and maybe this decision was one of mine.
“Promise me you’ll take him with you. I’ve spent most of his life afraid he would leave me like his daddy did, but I don’t want to hold him back anymore. Let him see things he never would if he stayed here.”
I’d been so angry with Carrie before meeting her. I didn’t understand how she could hurt Sam the way she had, but it was clear to me now that she loved him. She was human, and none of us were perfect, but she loved her son. “I will.”
Surprising even myself, I reached over and squeezed her hand. The door opened behind me, Sam sneaking in.
“Sorry. It was killin’ me. I can’t stay away any longer.”
“We’re done here anyway,” she said. “I guess Emerson has a real good program for me to go into.”
I felt the rush of heat from him, the pulse through the air as Sam’s gaze zeroed in on me with so much appreciation.
Thank you.
I shrugged, and he smiled.
“That’s real good,” Sam replied. “Landed myself a wealthy Northerner. Who would have thought?” he joked, the tension in the room breaking and causing the three of us to laugh.
Sam was great at that.
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Sam
Emerson and I stayed a few more days in Charlotte with Mama.
I still couldn’t wrap my head around everything that had happened, but I was going with it.
We had everything all set up for Mama to go to Tennessee. Once things were all squared away at the hospital and she was discharged, Molly was going to drive her, a girls’ trip for the two of them. Molly had always stuck by us no matter what, and Mama didn’t want to ask Aunt Sherry. She felt too judged by her in a way she didn’t with Molly. I’d also talked to Emerson, told him I wanted to use some of the money I’d put away to help with Mama’s treatment, but it wouldn’t put a dent in it, so I appreciated Emerson’s taking care of the rest.
I said my goodbyes to her, and it almost killed me to do so, before we headed back to Ryland.
When we got to the house, Charles was there. He stood on the porch and smiled at us as we climbed out of the car.
“You didn’t tell me,” I said.
“He’s been helping get things settled here for us.”
I was glad to know they were talking, that despite Charles’s mistake, he and Emerson were still close.
“Hey, man. Good to see you.” Charles pulled Emerson into a hug.
“Good to see you too,” Em replied.
Charles gave me the same greeting.
It was strange being here without the animals. I knew they had a good home at Lydia’s farm, but it felt quieter, lonelier. When another car pulled down the driveway, I said, “I better go.” I kissed Emerson, then told Charles, “See you tonight,” before jogging over to Molly’s vehicle. “Hey, you.”
“Hi.” Her eyes were pink, and I knew she’d been crying.
My truck was at her place already. I’d driven it to Charlotte, but she’d ridden with Em, so she’d taken it back home when she went. Molly was keeping it with her while I was gone.
