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Mary sent Mike what looked like a watch-your-step look, but she was gone again before he could question what her problem was. He looked to Zoey and quickly backed away from her glare. He wasn’t fast enough, because she reached out and pinched his forearm. And twisted, just like she used to do when they were kids.
He didn’t want to bring Mary back by yelling, so he pulled away and whisper-yelled instead. “Shit, Zoey! What wasthatfor?”
“Seriously?” She was using his same low whisper, but hers cracked with fury. “You ask me that question in a house full of people? In a house where mydaughtercould have heard you?” She paused and took a steadying breath, confusion replacing some of her anger. “And for the record, the answer is no.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
MIKE’SEXPRESSIONWASsuch a quick flash of sadness then relief that Zoey suspectedhedidn’t know himself how he felt about her answer. Her hand instinctively went to her stomach, and she had to admit she felt a little stab of sadness herself. Having Mike’s baby would be...Wait just a damn minute.They were forty years old. She didnotwant to have a baby. Not even with Mike. But what if he’d decidedhewanted one?
“Oh, God. Did youwantme to be pregnant?”
“Shhh!”
He glanced at the entrance to the kitchen and she realized she’d forgotten to whisper the question. But there was a steady flow of conversation and laughter coming from the rest of the house, and Mary hadn’t popped up in the doorway again. They were safe.
“Of course I don’t want—” he looked to the door “—that.I mean...if you were, it would be okay. But I’m glad you’re not, because...wow. That would be a lot.” His face was ashen.
“That’s an understatement.” They both turned back to the sink. “Whatever gave you the idea I might be?”
“I don’t know. You asked me about kids and it seemed important to you. Once my brain went there, I couldn’t stop wondering.”
She handed him a dish towel for the pans and started working on the glass casserole the baked beans had cooked in. This one was going to take more effort to clean. She tried to shrug her hair away from her face, and Mike reached out to sweep it back over her shoulder. His touch, even just his fingertips, settled her somehow.
“First, if Iwaspreg...” Now it was her turn to glance at the door. “If I was that, I’dtellyou. In private. I wouldn’t beat around the bush about it at some cookout, because...well, it wouldn’t matter if you didn’t want children at that point. And second? Yeah, itwouldbe a lot. Forme.” She paused her scrubbing long enough to meet his bemused gaze. “Why are you laughing?”
He chuckled, gently flicking the end of his dish towel at her butt. “You’re right. You would tell me straight out about it. That’s what I lo—um...like about you and I.” He took the baking dish from her hand. “I admit I did a panic spiral, okay? I’m sorry. But what madeyouask that question about kids?”
It was time to be honest.
“I picked up a weird vibe when I mentioned being careful because Hazel was here. You cooled off so fast that I wondered if you resented her being a factor between us.”
He set the pan on the drying rack before turning and taking her hands in his. “I never meant to suggest that she’s between us like that. It’s hard for me to keep this a big, dark secret. That’s not my style. But I can be frustrated and still understand completely why you need it to be this way.”
She stared at him for a moment, and he lightly ran his hands up and down her arms, somehow knowing she needed his soothing touch. She hadn’t really considered how much their secret was weighing on him.
“I’d love for us tonothave to sneak around and tell all these little white lies to the people we care about. But I need to do the right thing as a mom. That’s who I am first.” She rested her hands on his chest. “It’s hard, turning those switches on and off—friend, lover, mom. I want it all, but having it all is...impossible right now.”
Before he could respond, they heard Vickie calling out loudly from the dining room. “Oh,Hazelhoney, if you’re going into the kitchen, could you take these dessert plates with you?”
Zoey and Mike jumped away from each other and scurried to get busy. He started drying the pans all over again, while she wiped down the sink with the sponge. A minute later Hazel came in, Gavin propped on one hip and her other hand holding a tilting pile of small paper plates and napkins. Zoey hurried to take the plates, tossing them out.
“Thanks, Mom.” Hazel laughed. “Vickie was bound and determined that I had to stop and collect every plate on the table before I came in here. All I wanted was to get a glass of juice for this little guy and say goodbye.”
Zoey nodded, ignoring the catch in her throat. The worst part of divorce by far was the bargaining over their daughter’s time. But itwasFather’s Day, so of course Hazel should spend time with Chris.
“Your dad’s picking you up here, right?”
“He’s picking me up in five. You sure it’s okay for me to stay there for a couple of days?”
“Of course it’s okay.” Zoey filled a sippy cup with juice and handed it to Gavin, who grabbed at it with a big grin. “You should be with your dad on Father’s Day. And school’s out, so staying until Wednesday morning is fine—just don’t forget you’re working for Mary for four hours on Tuesday. What are you planning to do with your father?”
“Genna made reservations at the marina restaurant for dinner tonight—that’s why I couldn’t eat here. She’s putting the final wedding plans together this week, and she wants my help. We’re going to get my dress fitted.” Hazel’snever-impressed-with-anythingattitude dropped for a moment, replaced by little girl excitement. “It’s going to be my first custom-fit dress, just like a model!” Hazel reached out and tugged at Zoey’s dress. “Speaking of dresses, this is dope. You should wear more yellow.”
Hazel gave Zoey a quick peck on the cheek, then turned and left the kitchen, giving Mike a quick wave.
“Isdopea good thing?” Mike asked Zoey.
“I think so. With social media, theinphrases seem to change weekly.”
