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Hudson

Looking into her eyes and telling the woman of my dreams that I was sorry I couldn’t give her more, crushed me. The ashy pieces of my heart that managed to survive leaving her the first time have turned to lava boiling the blood in my veins and making me feel the stabbing pain I saw in her eyes. I don’t know what I was thinking coming here and making things harder for her. I wanted her to know I wasn’t a bastard but that was fucking selfish. I watched as her eyes filled with unshed tears and had to get out of there. I stumble to the waiting cab with Nick and grab my chest as my heart breaks even more. I haven’t cried in years and here I am breaking down in front of my best friend. I try to hide my anguish with my hands over my face and lean over, finding it hard to breathe. He tells the driver to head back to LA and gives me the peace I need.

Once I get ahold of myself, we’re already parking in front of the tour bus. I see Bryon wave in confusion because we should have been loaded up an hour ago. Once in San Diego Nick and I realized it was not in my best interest to barge in on her in the middle of the night, so we grabbed a hotel. I should have talked myself out of it by sunrise, but I was ready to tell her how incredibly in love with her I am. Once in front of her and our circumstances sharing the room with us, I couldn’t tell her all that. It would have made it worse anyway.

I pay the cabbie and we jump out and onto the tour bus.

“Hey, man, what the fuck? Where you been, Hudson? You bitch at me for oversleeping and you fuckers weren’t even here. Now I had to take the bitching from Ryan and didn’t even do anything wrong. Am I in the twilight zone and you two were sharing a few groupies? If so, you’re totally forgiven, dare I say I’m even proud?” Bandit slaps me on the back as I pass but when he sees my face he backs up. “Damn, dude, what the hell happened?”

I make my way to my bed as I hear Nick giving him a rundown. I don’t give a fuck at this point. Tell the world, makes no difference. I close my eyes, never wanting to open them again and I beg for sleep to take me.

My eyes pop open as a cold bucket of water is poured over my body.

“What the hell?” I yell at the wanker who dared to drench me.

“Time to get up, we’re almost there, Romeo.”

“Almost where? And what the fuck, man?” I am right pissed, and Bandit is two seconds away from getting my fist to his face.

“We’re gonna get your girl. Now, get up and get in the shower.”

“No, we’re not, you prick; leave me the fuck alone.” Cold and soggy, I turn back over in my bunk and face the wall. “Damn it! I’m going to kick your ars you fucking prick.” I’m shocked upright by another freezing bucket of water. I go after him swinging at the same time as I try and wipe the water from my eyes. He runs to the front of the bus, and Nick and Bryon grab me by the arms and hold me back from killing him.

“Just listen to me, Hudson. I talked to Ryan, and would you like to know what everyone has said about our album so far? I’ll tell you; they said the song with the chick is the best song on it. Not just that but we now have an entirely new following because of her. If you don’t want to chase her, you’re a dumb fuck. Charlie belongs with this band and if you won’t beg her to join us, I will. Fuck, dude, if you would have said something before we left, I would have encouraged her to come with us then.”

I stop fighting against my restraints and soon they both let me go. “You want Charlie to join Headspace?”

“Well, Ryan and Marcus both said we really need to work on our name, especially since we’re in a new league now so maybe you and her can work on that for us.” I can tell how much he hates the idea of changing our name but making any change is huge. I’m still in disbelief that he wants Charlotte in the band and look at him in confusion, not knowing what to say.

“Look, Hudson, I hate change more than anything, but Charlie is good for you; we all saw it. Plus, she’s great for all of us. Hell, she bailed us out of jail in the middle of the night and didn’t bitch once. The saint actually made us breakfast. If you want to go get her, your band fully supports you.” He just shrugs like this isn’t a life-altering discussion.

I look back at Bryon and Nick. “You all want Charlotte to join the band? Travel with us everywhere and what, write more songs where she sings with us?”

“Ideally, yes.” That comment comes from Ryan, which is even more surprising. I take a seat, soaking the chair underneath me, and cup my face. I didn’t think there was ever an option to have both my career and Charlotte. I still may not; she may not want to travel with us losers all over the world, but if there is a chance, I have to try and take it. I look up at Nick and Bryon and confirm they’re both on board.

“And you both want her too?”

“Hell, yeah. I’m tired of being the mom around here.” Nick smiles and Bryon nods.

“Fuck, yeah, man. Honestly ‘Taken’ is my favorite song from the album too.” He shrugs.

“Well, alright, mates, let’s go get our girl.” Hope rises in me like a rocket ship and I head to the shower as they applaud me for some ridiculous reason. If I somehow come up with the right things to say, she still might say no. I needed a plan to win her over.

Too soon the bus pulls up to the studio and the guys clap me on the back as I make my way to the front. Plan in place, I plug in my phone, find the song, crank the volume in the bus, and roll all the windows that go down, all the way open.

Taking a deep breath, I look up to what I know is her living room window and signal the guys to turn it up. I stand there with my heart wide open and the embarrassingly true lyrics of “How Long Will I Love You” blaring from the rock and roll tour bus. My heart is quite literally in my throat and I have to keep wiping my sweaty hands on my jeans. Several moments go by and I’m starting to get scared when she still hasn’t come to the window.

Suddenly the window opens and blond curly hair catches in the sunlight. Charlotte’s beautiful face pokes out with an adorable look of bewilderment. I smile ear to ear just to be able to see her.

“Hudson? What the hell are you guys doing?” she yells but I still barely hear her, so I look to the boys to turn it down. Their huddled at the steering wheel until I give them the nod. Bryon, Nick, and Bandit come out holding giant whiteboards with different writing on them. All begging for her forgiveness. Calling me a sad sack of shite and sweet things like that.

“We have something really important we want to ask you. Can you come down?”

I can see her reading the signs and her smile grows at each one. She looks back at me before disappearing into her flat. She bounces out of the studio door and I suddenly feel very sick; my stomach twists with anxiety and my mouth goes dry. I take a deep breath as I meet her halfway on the sidewalk.

“Hi.”

“Hey.”

“So, you’re probably wondering what in the world our rowdy bunch is doing here.”

“I was wondering that, yeah,” she says with a shy smile.

“Well, it’s a really long, fairly comical story but the point of it would be because we all want you, Charlotte.” I clear my throat as her eyebrows almost hit her hairline. “I mean I know I want you but turns out Bandit and the boys were wondering if you would consider joining the band and running away with us.”

I watch her eyes widen in shock and her eyelashes flutter. Stepping closer to her, so close my body is only inches from hers, I look down into her eyes and slowly bring the back of my fingers to slide along her cheek.

“I love you, Charlotte. I want to be with you every minute of every day, and I know we’ll all drive you out of your fucking mind on most days, but we all agree, we’re so much better with you than we are without you. Please give me a chance to show you how much I can love you. Sing with us, show the world how great you are.”

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