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“And that is?”
“The kind a man has for the woman he sees a future with. The woman he wants to spend his life with, have children with, grow old with. I want you to be mine.”
“You love me? You want all that with me?” She asks, her voice whisper soft.
“Yes, and it terrifies me.”
“A-damn you!” She shouts, a look on her face I’ve never been responsible for, and knowing I caused it tears me up inside.
“I don’t want to lose what we have, but I know what wecouldhave is worth the chance. If you don’t feel the same, I understand and will accept it, though I reserve the right to work on changing your mind until you fall as deeply in love with me as I am with you. That being said, if a friend is the only way I can be a part of your life, I’ll take it. I didn’t want to tell you all this then ask you to become a parent of two teenagers. It killed me to do it, but I wanted you to move on, live for you, not for me and my siblings. My wings were clipped from fully spreading with the death of my parents, but yours didn’t have to be. I wanted you to fly and I refused to hold you back.”
This time when she says my name, it’s not connected to a curse. “Adam.”
“But I can’t let you go. Please don’t make me. I can’t breathe without you. Just the sound of your voice calms me. Your laugh makes the world brighter. Your smile lightens even the darkest parts of my soul. Your touch ignites a fire inside me and I no longer want to quench it. I want to give it free rein.” Ember places her hand on top of mine and the fraying edges of my sanity start to stitch back together. If she can do that, there’s hope. “Remember that mythology class we took on a whim our freshman year?” She wanted to take it and begged me to as well. “I want this feeling to burn us both up, leaving our past relationship in ashes, so our new life, one with an even stronger connection than before, rises from the flames like a phoenix.”
My eyes haven’t left Ember’s since I started speaking, and as silent tears course down her cheeks, my heart feels heavy, imagining the worst. That I’m in this alone, that I’ve made her uncomfortable, but then…then she does something I’ve dreamed of for years. She opens her mouth and the sweetest thing I will ever hear, aside from when we take our vows, comes out.
“I love you.” Three simple words that have the power to fell the strongest man. Withstand the fiercest storm. And make even the most stoic smile so bright it could be seen from orbit. “What I feel for you terrifies me, too, Adam. It’s scary, and I think if we don’t admit that, we’re only fooling ourselves. While I understand you thought you were doing what was best for me, you don’t have the right to decide that without talking to me. But you’d just had your parents taken from you and that skews everything, emotionally and mentally, so it can’t fully be held against you.”
“Yes,” I softly confirm, grateful she understands that I wasn’t thinking clearly while knowing she’s too good for me.
“You hurt me, and by doing so, yourself as well, but you also could’ve ruined any chance we would ever have to become more. Not to mention, it makes it sound as if I don’t know my own mind well enough to choose for myself, that I’d choose wrong by being with you and regret it. I would never turn my back on you or them. I love them as if they’re my own. I always have, always will. You’ve been my rock since the beginning. Let’s be that phoenix. Let’s forge a new path, side by side, and become what we were always meant to be.”
“And what’s that, sparky?”
“One.”
**Ember**
And then he kissed me. A lot. We only pulled apart at the sound of a throat clearing, loudly, followed by, “I worked hard on this food. You better get your asses in the kitchen and eat.” I giggle and receive a wink from Nash. He’s only a few years younger than me and Adam, so he’s hung out with us more than the other two. I’ve come to think of all of them as my siblings, though. “Ember, glad you’re giving dumbass another chance. He’s crazy about you, you know? He begged me to cook since he can’t even make cereal correctly.” Leaning toward me he whispers, as if it’s a crime, “He doesn’t even know how to boil water.”
Laughing so hard I need to hold Adam to keep me steady, I can hear and feel the huff he emits at Nash’s teasing. “You think that’s funny, sparky?” Adam whispers, stealing my attention so I don’t notice Nash leaving.
“Yep,” I reply, eager to see what he’ll say next. Plus, I’m still his best friend, which means it’s my job to give him shit. A responsibility I take very seriously.
“Someone need spanked already?” He growls. The thought of his hand smacking my bare cheek, his handprint marking my skin, has me arching my back and sticking said body part out. I feel him skim the left before giving it a slight tap and shudder. “The things you’re gonna beg me to do to you,” he says before giving my earlobe a little bite.
“I did not know you had this side to you.”
“Me either,” he admits with a shrug.
“It’s getting cold, people,” comes from the kitchen before I can respond to Adam’s confession. I still see hints of vulnerability on his face, as if he’s worried this is a dream or I’ll change my mind. Only time will convince him this is real, that I’ll always choose him.
–––
We all had dinner together, which was delicious, and one of my favorites. Something Nash could’ve only known from Adam. I sat between Adam and Riley, splitting my attention between them, though concentrating was a little hard. Adam constantly touched me in some manner, and while he’s done that numerous times before, he and I know it’s different now.
It feels like a natural transition, though. As if we were always heading toward this end, we just hit some detours to get to it.
There’s a noticeable change in the atmosphere. It’s more subdued, lacking the usual, for lack of a better word, life. It’s as if the residence is in mourning, too. Yeah, that might sound woo-woo, but this house is more than a building. It’s a home that centered around two people that are no longer here.
I can’t help but think about the history of my own relationship with Adam. I don’t consider the years he and I each kept our growing feelings a secret a waste, but I am curious on whether there were clues I missed. Signs that, if caught, could’ve gotten us to this point sooner.
Like a flash, I remember a conversation in high school with my friend, Tia.
“He is so gone over you,” Tia had exclaimed.
“What? Who? Huh?”
