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"Fine, I will help you for them, but I can't forgive you Kai." I mutter, shaking my head.
"I know," he says before stepping out of the shower dripping wet and leaves the bathroom.
I get out and strip off my wet clothes, wrapping a towel around my body. I feel like just when I was getting a grip on what was going on in my life it was ripped out from underneath me and I'm left with all of these memories of them and wishing I had more time.
Coming out of the bathroom I find a simple black dress laid out on the bed for me. Just knowing what it means and why I have to wear it causes fresh tears to gather in my eyes. I take a deep breath and centre myself as I drop my towel to the floor. After I'm dressed and ready I head downstairs. My mood hasn't improved but I have to get up and function. I don't know how I would have felt if it was Kai, Creed, Chester, Trace and Brennan that were killed. Would it have been easier because I hadn't spent much time with any of them besides Trace? How messed up is it to think like that.
Kai is seated at the breakfast bar as I enter the kitchen. I look around, but no one else is here and I'm honestly grateful for that. I'm not ready for the looks of pity and regret, or the whole us or them speech they're all quick to hand out.
***
A front row seat at a funeral is not a seat you want to brag about. At a concert maybe, but here it would be disrespectful and I’m not even sure why I think about it. Funerals for G.O.D.S are a weird gathering. No one is crying or wearing black. Everyone just sits and listens as a representative for Olympia talks about them as if she knows them. The only people who truly knew them are those of us sitting here in the front row. Surrounded by their parents I sit and stare at the five wooden coffins lining the stage, each one with a picture beside it. I gaze at each picture for as long as I can, committing each face to my memory. It feels so surreal to be witnessing this right now. They only just came back into my life so my new memories aren’t as good as the memories of us growing up now that everything has come back to me. The pain eats at me from the inside out, so much so that I want to claw my own heart out just to make it stop.
I’ve been in a zombie state of mind, reality not having set in until right now. I expected Boston to fly through the door in a rage when I slept in his room the first night. Subconsciously, I did it in hopes that he would come back.
Everyone is made to stand and form a line to pay their respects. One by one I watch as they place a wild flower on each coffin then return to their seat. A tear rolls down my face but I hastily wipe it away; crying is a sign of weakness and someone who didn’t know the guys for that long wouldn’t be shedding tears. I don’t want anyone to know I have all of my memories back just yet. I need to get to the bottom of everything that is going on within Olympia.
Mr. Z is aware that I have some of my memories back, he isn’t stupid. Though his weakness is his dead wife and I plan to exploit that every chance I get. He’s going down, along with his company and Team Zeus. They don’t get a free pass just because they are their brothers.
When it’s my turn to walk up onto the stage I stop and take a handful of forget-me-nots from a bucket hanging on the bannister. I take measured steps up the stairs, fiddling with the flowers in my hand.
I make my way across the stage, stopping to place the first one on Boston’s coffin. “Ride or die, I won’t ever forget that,” I whisper, like it’s a secret for only the two of us.
I move to Marlow and place his down next. “To the moon and back.” I didn’t remember before, but over the last week things have come back to me–things I shouldn't have had to forget.
“I didn’t eat your M&M’s, maybe just the blue ones.” I chuckle as I place the flower on Davis’s coffin.
“We didn’t get our epic ride but I hope you’re watching because this one's for you.” I wipe another stray tear from my face as I place a flower on Laughn’s coffin.
Last but not least is Case. I place the flower down on his coffin and whisper, “Checkmate.”
That one word consumes me and I cease to exist. I fall to the floor as a sob lodges itself in my throat. Someone tries to touch my shoulder but I shrug them away. Whispers break out across the room and I look up and lock eyes with the five guys that I didn’t want to see here, they shouldn’t be here. Even though I came with Kai, I had hoped they would stay out of sight.
Creed looks at me, the corner of his eyes dip and a frown mars his beautiful tattooed face. I stand on shaky legs as anger courses through my veins.
I jump from the stage as everyone gasps and run towards them as fire burns in my veins. I stop in front of Creed and punch his chest hard causing him to take a step back. “You don’t get to feel my pain.”
A solid chest presses against my back and an arm wraps around my waist. “You need to calm down Little Angel. You don’t want to show all your cards here.” Chester’s bourbon and sex scent surrounds me as he whispers into my ear. “Hate us, scream at us, punish us even, but not with an audience. You never know who’s watching.”
I turn my head to the right and Mr. Z, his representative and a handful of students are all staring at me. I curl my lip up at them before stepping out from between Creed and Chester and run outside.
There’s no point sticking around; they will be transported back to the morgue and cremated. Brennan was weak; he sent me a text message to let me know. He couldn’t even be man enough to face me.
None of them even looked sad, each one just stood there staring at me like they care about how I’m feeling. They don’t get to care; they need to just leave me alone.
Trace is my sore spot right now. He was the one person I felt the closest to in the whole world, even after everything was revealed I never imagined that he could betray me like this. I always thought he was my person, the one I could rely on. I just didn't know how wrong I could be.
I won’t let my walls slip this time because I know my strengths. I will bide my time and make sure I’m in tune with myself again. I have to do it for them.
2
Jolie
I know that I promised Kai I would help them take down Mr. Z, but it’s a promise I shouldn’t have made. After the funeral, they were gone; it’s been nothing but radio silence. I’ve spent the last few days pulling myself together, making sure my head is right before school starts back. I honestly wasn’t going to bother going back until I realised I needed to get into Olympia to get to know my enemy. I need access everywhere: his office, his labs, his training facilities and I need his resources.
I look in the mirror of my bathroom, swiping on my lip gloss, making sure my armour is up. I can’t slip. I need to keep everything on the inside; until their deaths, I was quite good at it. But seeing them on the ground lifeless, broke a part of me that I don’t think can ever be repaired.
Heading downstairs to the kitchen, the house is empty, completely void of life. No Brennan making my morning coffee, no Petra cooking breakfast, no Laughn looking at me like I’m his next meal.
