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“No, but I should have. It was unrealistic of me to not have a plan in place if he didn’t cooperate. It was a domestic abuse situation, Jenna. There was no reason for me to handle it like I did.”
“Uh, I’m pretty sure you were the one who jumped in front of the wife, weren’t you?” Now I’m the one squeezing his hand, unwilling to let him continue self-sabotaging. I’ve been there, done that, and it’s never helped me. “You’re the one who took the brunt end of the man’s violence that day. And sure. Maybe you could’ve been more prepared. We could all say that when we walk into a situation that can go ten different ways. But I’mtellingyou, your partner was there to do exactly what he did after you did what you had to do. And believe me, there is something to say for that.”
Seth’s lower lip is trembling as he blows out a shaky breath, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this vulnerable before. “How can you see so much good in me?”
I don’t mean to, but I can’t help but let out a little laugh, complete with a tear rolling down my cheek. “Seth, I could ask you the same thing. I’m divorced before I’m even thirty, with two kids. Believe me, I’ve taken crap for ‘not fighting for my marriage’ or that I ‘should’ve stuck it out.’ And on days like today, I don’t know how you or Joanna or Alice can see the good in me, because I feel like a failure. I couldn’t save my marriage and I couldn’t save my s—” I stop short when I realize what I was about to say.
But Seth heard me. “You couldn’t save what?”
I shake my head, dropping my hand from his face. “No—Please forget I even said anything. Please.”
“Jen, you know you can trust me.” He keeps hold of my hand when I try to pull away, but though his grip is firm it’s not confining. “Right?”
“Office Seth?”
Ella’s sleepy voice has both of us whirling towards the doorway to find my daughter standing there, Skye tucked to her chest, and Seth does drop my hand then. I try to ignore the disappointment that slides through me so I can crawl out of my cocoon to get to Ella, but I don’t have the chance to. Ella runs in and crawls up on Seth’s lap, which I think shocks him as much as it does me, because he goes still for a moment. Then, to my amazement, his expression softens as he rests his hand on Ella’s shoulder.
I think it’s one of the most beautiful moments I’ve ever seen.
“Are you feeling better?” he asks her.
Ella leans back against his arm, adoration shining in her dark brown eyes as she smiles up at him. “Uh-huh. I’m hungry now. Are you here for supper, Office Seth?”
“Oh, sweetheart, I don’t think—”
“Yes,” Seth interrupts, making me look at him in surprise. “I think Alice got you guys some groceries, so how would you like to be my sous chef while your mom takes a little nap?”
Say what?
“What’s a…soo-chef?” Ella asks, her brows furrowed adorably.
“Like an assistant, but in the kitchen,” Seth explains, gently letting Ella slide off his lap and then easing to his feet. He squats down to be eye level with my daughter, and I swear I’ve never had my heart almost jump out of my chest so many times in only a matter of minutes. “How about you go downstairs, and I’ll be down in just a minute so we can figure out what we’re going to make, okay?”
Ella lights up for the first time today, throws her arms around him in a hug, and then races out of the room. I have no doubt her pounding footsteps will wake her brother—considering she’s so tiny, it amazes me how much noise she can make—so I manage to crawl out of my cocoon. I’ve barely had time to stand, let alone take a step, when Seth appears in front of me.Rightin front of me. Like, he’s so close I couldn’t take a step forward without walking straight into his chest.
Something I am obviouslynotgoing to do. I’m not. I might be tempted, but you would be surprised just how much self-control I have. Literally so much control that I plant my hands on my hips and level a glare up at him, and I don’t even allow myself to inhale even though I know he smells good. I think he’s a walking ad for some type of bodywash or cologne. It’s probably calledEau de Uniforme.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“I could ask you the same question.”
I snort. “I’m going to go make sure Eli’s okay, take those groceries downstairs, and coo—”
“Yeah, no, that’s not gonna happen.” Before I know what’s happening, his hands are on my shoulders and he’s leaning down to be eye level with me. It’s funny how quickly a girl forgets how to breathe when there’s a Seth Johnson hovering approximately six inches from her face. “You are going to crawl into your bed—and not that tent you were hiding in—and take a nap while your daughter and I cook something for supper. If Eli wakes up, he will help us or hang out. And heaven forbid I’m so out of my element in your kitchen that something burns while we’re cooking, I’ve got the fire department on speed dial.”
“I don’t think that’s the thing to say when you’re trying to convince me of something.”
One dark brow raises, but he somehow manages to keep a straight face otherwise. “Oh? What should I say, then? Or do I need to prove it with my actions?”
Is… Is Seth Johnson flirting with me? My lips don’t seem to want to form words, so I don’t get any response at all out before Eli’s cry comes through the baby monitor still tangled in my web of blankets. My fingers itch to turn and grab it, then dart around Seth because I don’t like the idea of having to rely on him like this. It’s scary to entrust my kids to someone else when I’ve been their (main) providerandprotector for so long.
“I’ve got it, Jenna,” he whispers.
And then he steps closer, so close my body is pressed against his, and I’m almost certain he’s going to kiss me. But he doesn’t. He keeps his right hand on my shoulder, which means I’m leaning against his body, and reaches around me to grab the baby monitor. Ha. How cute. It was right on top of the comforter. I should’ve gone with my escape plan, because then I wouldn’t be flush against Seth right now, hopeless to do anything but inhale that Seth scent I tried to so hard to ignore only moments ago.
But we don’t stay like this for long. Of course not. Seth turns away as fast as he came towards me, grabs the grocery totes, and heads out the door. Then glances over his shoulder, his gaze holding mine with the intent to make me agree to whatever he says.
Until he says it. “Trust me.”
