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Those words—trust me, trust me, trust me—bounce around in my mind as I stand there for a solid five minutes after he leaves. He shut the door almost all the way, but it’s like I can still see him standing there, see the way he held Ella on his lap, feel the warmth from his body.
I think about his words as I reluctantly straighten my comforters and climb into bed. I ponder them as I stare at the photo Alice snapped last year of Ella, Eli, and myself in the backyard that’s sitting on my bedside table, the melty carton of Ben & Jerry’s obscuring the corner.
And I finally start to believe them as my eyes close, embraced by the warmth of my bedding and the assurance that I can, in fact, trust Seth.
Even if it’s the scariest thing I’ve ever done.
Chapter Eighteen
Jenna
I’m completely disoriented when I open my eyes. Is it morning? Why is it getting dark outside? Did I sleep through the kids waking up sick? Why does my stomach growl like I haven’t eaten anything for hours?
I roll onto my side and my eyes pop open—somewhere, there is a movie editor who enhances this by adding a sound effect—when I see the time on my alarm clock.Quarter after ten?!No! No, no, no! I was only supposed to take a short nap to recharge while Seth graciously took care of my kids and saw to it that they were fed. I’m a mom—I don’t need more than a twenty-minute nap to accomplish what other people do in a luxurious two-hour nap.
I say that in a completely nonjudgmental way, for the record. Because I just slept forFIVEhours and I’m kinda sorta panicking because I wasn’t supposed to do that. Poor Seth probably even tried to wake me up and I likely just kept on sleeping, which either forced him to call Alice over or stay with the kids.
Well, he could’ve just left, but that’s not the kind of man he is.
In full freakout mode, I shove my blankets off, letting out a frustrated huff when they get tangled around my legs. I nearly roll out of bed, clumsily grab my phone, and head out the door. I don’t even bother to check it, though, because I look in both Ella’s and Eli’s rooms. Empty.
No, no, no. Why didn’t you insist that you handle supper and send Seth on his merry little way earlier, Jenna Elizabeth Williams? Why??
Yes, I do give myself internal pep talks and use my full name. I think it packs more of a punch. I wasn’t judgy earlier, so I’d appreciate if you just scoot on by if you have a comment about my weirdness, okay?
As quietly as possible, I run down the stairs and slide around the wall into my living room. This is where the video editor inserts ascreeeechheffect, because I literally screech to a halt, my mouth hanging open.
Ella’s princess popup castle thingamajig is taking up residency where my coffee table goes—that’s neatly pushed to the side with onePaw Patrolsippy cup and oneCinderellasippy cup on it—and the sides are folded up. Which means I can see inside the tent, of course, and what I see is the reason my feet left skid marks on my nice floors only seconds ago.
Seth’s laying in the middle of the tent with his head propped on one of the yellow throw pillows from my sofa, his bare feet crossed at the ankle. He changed—what, does he keep spare clothes in his cruiser? —because he’s now wearing a pair of black athletic shorts and a sky-blue T-shirt. Based on the way his chest rises and falls with slow, even breaths and the fact that his eyes are closed, he’s sleeping. And so are my kids—one on either side of him, their little heads nestled into the hollows beneath each of his shoulders, and one muscular Seth arm wrapped around each of them. Ella’s in her favorite princess nightgown and Eli has his adorableCarspajamas on. Considering they were in other clothes before my colossally long nap, Seth must’ve helped them change.
The scene is so breathtakingly precious that I can’t help but raise my phone to snap a picture. That’s when I see the texts. One from Joanna to tell me the leak is fixed, one from Seth to the group chat with the teens to say tonight’s renovation hour was cancelled (I completely spaced that off!), and one from my ex-husband.
Pete Williams: Hello?
I swallow and swipe all of them away without allowing Pete’s to sink too far into my thoughts, then take a few pictures. I’ll probably never show them to anyone, not even Seth, but this moment is too precious, too sacred and vulnerable, for me to rely on memory alone to remember.
Careful not to disturb any of them, I pad over to the kitchen and discover a note on the island. I can’t help but smile as I set my phone down and pick the paper up, tracing my fingertips over Seth’s blunt handwriting. No frills or loop-de-doos on his letters, that’s for sure.
If we’re asleep when you wake up, there’s a plate for you in the fridge. Oh, and the dishwasher was clean, so we emptied it while I allowed the kids to play theFrozensoundtrack very softly in the background. I hope we put everything back where it’s supposed to go.
I laugh softly to myself and pull the fridge open to find a plate of tater tot casserole waiting. My stomach grumbles impatiently as I pop it in the microwave, wincing every time I have to push a button and itbeepsinto the silence. I pull the plate out once the food is sizzling, pour myself a glass of water, and quietly ease out onto my back porch. It’s nearly dark and a chorus of locusts and cicadas serenade me as I sit down to eat at my patio table. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until I saw this plate of food, and I’m glad I came out here to eat, because I literally let out a groan when I take my first bite. There was no need to worry about having the fire department on speed dial, because I’ll just admit it: I think Seth is a better cook than I am.
“They say you’re not supposed to eat that fast.”
I drop my fork as Seth approaches the table, nearly scream, and then angle a glare up at him. Clearly, I was too focused on the amazing casserole to even see him come outside, and now my cheeks are hot as I swallow the bite in my mouth. If it’s at all possible, the soft lighting of the sconces on the back of my house only make Seth more attractive. Which I find highly annoying, considering he just scared the dickens out of me.
“Mind if I join you?” He waits until I shake my head to lower into the chair beside mine, and he runs his hand through his dark hair. I hardly resist sighing. Does he really need to make a show of that finely muscled arm and how unfair it is that a man can dishevel his hair and it looks incredible, but if I tried that move, I’d probably look like a hobo? I think not. “I take it you’re enjoying the casserole, huh?”
Since my mouth is full again, I nod. Apparently I’m incapable of staying upset at a man who babysits my kids, makes incredible food, and has the smallest smirk on his lips. That’s nice to know.
“Good. Since you’re probably wondering, the kids ate all their supper and helped me clean up after. Ella insisted on dishing up a plate for you and, with my assistance, Eli put it in the fridge. The leftovers are in a container in the right drawer with your other leftovers. After that we decided to turn the living room into a royal kingdom, read I think ten books, and played eight games ofGo Fishbefore I got them ready for bed. Well, I stayed, uh, nearby while they put on pjs and brushed their teeth, I guess. And then they convinced me to read one more story in the castle, which ended with us falling asleep. As you probably saw. They’re still in there sleeping, but I left the door open a crack in case one of them does wake up.”
Somewhere during the monologue, I stopped chewing my food and just stared at him as he talked. My mouth is now full of half-chewed food I can’t figure out how to swallow because I’m in shock. Not only did he cook and clean and read to the kids and play games with them, but he respected them enough to let them get ready for bed in the privacy of their rooms while he stayed “nearby.” Between doing my dishes the other night and this tonight, anything other than this—like flowers or a fancy date or expensive jewelry—will forever fall short. Not because the dishes or tonight were born of romantic intent, but shoot. If Seth was trying to win my heart, he might as well realize that he already has.
“Uh, did I do something wrong?”
I blink. Finish chewing. Manage to swallow without choking.
