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Because I’m enjoying the flush crawling up Jenna’s neck, I decide to lean down and drop my voice. “With or without my boots on, Miss Alice? And I don’t know, do I?”
Ella, who’s still on my shoulders like Remy inRatatouille, giggles at my tone and Alice’s penciled brows raise. Twin spots of red appear on Jenna’s cheeks, and I decide to dial it up.
“Without the boots, Alice, I’m six-two. But when I put those heavy black boots on.” I clutch my heart dramatically, and Ella’s giggles intensify. “I feel like I’m basically the tallest guy in the world. And I don’t mean to sound conceited, but do you know how well these guns—” I flex my arms; the red in Jenna’s cheeks turns crimson “—fill out the sleeves of my uniform? I mean, you know that line in the Bruno Mars song about calling the poli—”
“All right, pretty boy,” Jenna cuts in, and she’s so frazzled that she won’t even look me in the eye. Maybe I should do this more often. “Those pancakes are gonna burn soon.”
I can’t resist. “Why, because I’m so hot?”
Alice lets out a hoot of laughter and slaps her wrinkled hand against the countertop, making her gaudy necklaces clink together. “You know what, I like you, Seth. But you had better not take that for granted.” She starts to lean closer as though she’s tall enough to whisper in my ear, so I do the gentlemanly thing and lean down to allow her to believe in herself. “Because if you do, you’d do well to remember what I said about having you dead and buried in three minutes. It’s surprising how smooth our mailman is.”
Because I’ve learned small women can be more intimidating than a tatted six-and-a-half-foot guy in an alley, I bite back any cheeky response that comes to mind. “Don’t worry, Alice. I might be a man and I know we’re not always considered to be the brightest, but I do know what I’ve got.” My gaze wanders to Jenna just long enough to reignite the flush in her cheeks, and then I glance at Alice again. “And I don’t plan on forgetting.”
“Jenna, my honey darlin’, this boy is one of the good ones,” Alice says, turning to Jenna. I grin becauseThe Good Onesis a song on Jen’s playlist. And yes, I do have the playlist almost memorized. “Ella, why don’t you come with Grammy to see what Papa Jack and your brother are up to, sugar?”
I feel a little offended how quickly Ella wants to get down from my shoulders, but I get it. Alice is like the grandmother she doesn’t have otherwise, and she’s been around every single day for the last three years. She’s the stereotypical chief who spends her days eating donuts because she has seniority now, and I’m the rookie officer who’s the new kid on the—
My thoughts are cut short when Ella comes running back inside and throws her arms around my legs. “I love you, Office Seth.”
I freeze there, unable to reciprocate Ella’s embrace or words because I’m paralyzed again. All the fears of not being good enough to be a dad and remembering how it felt to have my own dad choose drugs over me—it crowds around me and presses on my chest, making it difficult to breathe, let alone respond.
But then I look down at Ella to find her gazing up at me, absolutely no fear in her innocent expression. Her brown eyes are filled with an adoration I feel like I don’t deserve. And yet, here she is, giving it to me without hesitation.
I slowly lower to my knees and pull Ella into a real hug, forced to clear my throat before speaking. “I love you too, Ella.”
And just as quickly as the moment happened, it ends. Ella flashes me a bright smile before she runs back outside, leaving me kneeling in the kitchen and trying to process what just happened. I slowly stand, barely able to register it when Jenna nudges me to the side and assumes flipping the pancakes.
I glance out the window over the sink. I swallow as I take in Ella and Eli running around with the water balloons Alice brought along when they came over ten minutes after I arrived, their giggles unhindered and free, while Alice and Jack watch from the sidelines holding hands.
“Was that too fast?” Jenna’s words make me jerk my focus back to her. She’s still got her back turned to me, but I can hear the hesitation in her tone. “Ella saying she loves you, I mean. I know we agreed to take this whole thing slow between us last night, and I guess I should’ve talked to the kids about it. Not that they’d understand, but still. I don’t want them to make you feel uncomfortable or anything.”
Her words jar me out of my shock. I close the distance between us and clasp her upper arms from behind, pressing my lips to the top of her head. She lets out a tiny gasp before leaning back against me, and I close my eyes. She looks amazing first thing in the morning, by the way. The tiny freckles dotting her natural, makeup free face make me want to place kisses across her cheeks and nose. My hands itch to let her hair down from the messy bun she already has it in and run my fingers through the silky blonde waves. She’s wearing a pair of striped black and white beachy looking shorts, but she has the same orange T-shirt on from last night. It hasFalls Lakein all caps across the chest and it’s got to be about three sizes too big. The difference between last night and now, though, is that I know she has a swimsuit underneath because I can see a little white bow at the nape of her neck.
“No,” I say quietly, adjusting her shirt because it slipped off her left shoulder. I move my hands to rest on her waist, savoring the feel of her body flush with mine. “She was telling the truth, I’m guessing, so I told her the truth too.”
Jenna reaches up and brushes a finger under her eyes. “I wish I would’ve known you before Pete, Seth.”
“No, you don’t.” I allow my arms to slide all the way around her, clasping over her abdomen, and rest my chin on her shoulder. Her skin is warm against my cheek, and I inhale the tropical scent I’ve come to realize is justJenna.“You don’t, because you wouldn’t have Ella and Eli and we probably wouldn’t be standing here right now. I was different back then, Jen. Maybe less jaded in some ways, but I was also more naïve. A little less…ready for this kind of relationship. Yes, it’s true that my ex was the one who broke things off and used nasty words to do it, but that doesn’t mean I was ready for what I thought we would have. The fact that we discussed having a family doesn’t mean I was prepared for it then. I’ve realized, in hindsight, what she said was painful, but it was an opportunity. A chance to do better. And even though it’s taken me eleven years to realize it, I don’t think I want it any other way.”
She’s quiet as she transfers the first batch of pancakes to the yellow platter, and at first, I think I said something wrong. But then she tilts her head back to look up at me, her hands coming to rest over mine, and she smiles.
“That’s true.” She presses on tiptoe to place a kiss on the side of my jaw. I feel the effects of her affection all the way through my body. “That’s very true, in fact. And considering I really like where we’re standing right now, I don’t think I’d want it any other way, either. But…”
I hear the teasing in her voice and arch a brow. “But…?”
“Well, Ella’s usually the one who pours the pancakes on the griddle, so I kinda don’t know how.” The sparkle in her eyes tells me she’s flat-out lying. “And since you did such a fine job on that first batch…”
“Are you asking me to show you how to make pancakes, Ms. Williams?” There’s a healthy dose of flirtation in my voice, and I’m not even ashamed of it.
She bats her eyelashes in a ridiculous way that makes an equally ridiculous smile lift my lips. “I mean, since you said it, yeah. We wouldn’t want everyone to go hungry or anything, right?”
“Hell no. Not before a day on the water.” I manage to mock a serious tone, and free my right arm to lean over and grab the measuring cup in the bowl of pancake batter. “The first thing we have to do is scoop up the batter. I recommend placing your hand over mine just so you can get the feel for it.”
It might be corny as all get out, but as I “teach” Jenna how to make pancakes I discover that maybe this isn’t as scary as I thought. Yes, I still want to take things slow, especially with Ella and Eli as a part of the package (a part I wouldn’t trade for the world) but if this little glimpse into what it’s like to be a more serious part of Jenna’s life than just the guy who drops groceries off on her doorstep is any indication, I don’t want to go anywhere. I know it won’t always be like this, especially with the demands of my job and the fact that Pete will always be the kids’ biological father.
But I meant what I said to Jenna last night about not letting her go. I’m not just here for the good times.
I’m here for all of it.
