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“I’m sorry, Seth.” I trace my thumb over his knuckles, wishing I could say something substantial. “I know what it’s like to have family members want nothing to do with you. Or to wish you’d done something differently in the past.”
“I haven’t given up on finding Jade. It’s just that there’s not an easy way to go about it.”
“I know. And honestly, it’s the same as you said. Jade could probably find a way to locate me if she really wanted to. I guess I can’t find a person who doesn’t want to be found, though.”
Seth releases a sigh heavy with emotions I can’t put into words, and I nestle closer to his arm. He must notice, because he releases my hand and puts his arm around my shoulders, tucking me into his side. I hesitate for a moment, then close my eyes and let my hand come to rest on his chest. I purposely placed it directly over his heart, and I love the feel of his steady heartbeat under my palm.
“No, we can’t,” he whispers at length, his breath stirring the hairs at my temple. His finger draws lazy circles on my shoulder. “We can’t.”
His words seem so final, so sure, and all I want to do is tell him that maybe his aunt will come around. She does live in town, after all. Maybe his father will come around, even. I haven’t brought Jude up and I’m not sure I want to, but no matter what he says, I know he still feels the effects of his father’s abandonment. But I also know I can’t make anyone do anything, nor can I heal the wounds Seth has.
All I can do is show him he does have people who love him, because one of them is me.
Chapter Thirty
Jenna
As it turns out, being sun-drunk is totally a thing. When my kids play in their pool in the backyard, I usually lay out to get a little Vitamin D, but that doesn’t compare to today. After three hours on the boat, my skin is crispy, and my mind is fried. Basically, I’m delirious, and we discovered that delirium and power-washing do not go hand in hand.
What started with me accidently spraying Seth—prior to thepowerof the power-washer being on full blast—and drenching his shirt turned into an all-out water war. Ella and Eli served as accomplices to the teens by sharing the extra water balloons Ella insisted on bringing, and by the time the war ended every one of us was soaked from head to toe. Fortunately, we were all wearing shorts and T-shirts, it was the hottest part of the day, and the water felt amazing. Well, I should say the girls had shirts on. The guys stripped theirs off, Eli included, as soon as the water started flying. I’ll never forget the image of Eli running around, balloons fisted in his hands, his little belly sticking out.
After that, the boys took turns power-washing the exterior while the girls and I went inside to decide on paint colors. Seth picked up some swatches and left them here the other day when he and Marshall came by to do a walk-through of what we’ve done, so we pondered and discussed and deliberated until we found the right colors for each room. Almost everything is ready to be painted or, in the case of the floors, stained. We also decided on colors for the exterior of the house, and I think we’re secretly hoping the guys don’t veto our selections.
Once all our tasks were completed, we took the pizza from Giorgi’s down to the dock behind Marie’s house, which is technically one of the rewards Seth implemented. They haven’t cashed in more rewards than just for pizza, but it’s been too nice for anyone to want to go bowling inside and we’ve seemed to find a rhythm with working on the house. Seth found enough chairs for everyone except Ella and Eli, but my kids are too fascinated by their new “friends” to care. They’ve already made their rounds to laps. When supper started, Ella was on Mazzy’s lap and Eli was on Colin’s. I’m pretty sure my jaw dropped to the dock when Colin didn’t swat my son away like an unwanted bug. In fact, he gave him a fist bump and helped him eat his pizza.
Yeah, I know. I’m still recovering too.
Pizza and root beer was a perfect meal to round out the day, and now everyone’s sort of in a food coma. Ella moved to Alessia’s lap and Eli’s to Luka’s now. It’s only a little after eight, so the sun is still high in the sky, but everyone seems to have winded down noticeably since our water fight. The conversation ebbs and flows, jumping from how the house is going to the fireworks that have already been shot off this week to just a comfortable silence. It’s nice. I didn’t know how the teens would be after last time, so to see that they seem to have buried it is a relief.
“…heard they’re closing the old convenience store right off the highway east of town,” Colin is currently saying. The way he leans back in his chair so the front two legs are off the dock makes me nervous, but I don’t comment. “I think it’s been around for like a hundred years.”
Seth laces his hands behind his head. “Not quite, but yeah. It’s been there for a while. They probably can’t compete with some of the newer ones. I mean, it helps that people need to fuel watercraft as well as vehicles around here, but still. They’re off the beaten path compared to the ones closer to the lake.”
“It would be a great spot to have a mechanic shop, though,” Colin murmurs, and I think he was talking more to himself than to us.
I glance briefly at Seth, then back to Colin. “What makes you say that?”
Colin’s gaze jerks to me. “Huh?”
“You said it would make a great mechanic shop,” I say. “Why do you think so?”
“Oh.” He shrugs and pulls at a snag on his shorts. “I don’t know. I guess I’d just say because it has a garage attached to it, and you could turn the gas station part into a larger body shop with an office.”
“Colin’s good at fixing things,” Mazzy pipes up. She’s moved to sit on the dock with Ella behind her on the chair, and my daughter is attempting to braid her hair. Emphasis onattempting.“He’s been working on his grandpa’s 1968 Camaro for a few years now.”
Seth lets out a low whistle. “A ’68 Camaro? I bet that’s a sweet car. Is it running?”
“Not yet. The parts are expensive, and I don’t make a lot at the marina, so…” He trails off with a shrug. “It’s just a hobby. My grandpa and I were gonna fix it up together once I was old enough to drive, but he died before I even turned twelve.”
A blanket of silence settles over everyone, and I have to wonder if, under his bad-boy exterior, Colin’s hiding a soft heart. I mean, everyone truly does have a pure heart at their core, but sometimes we let it get so buried that it dims. The softness is mistaken for weakness, and we go into self-preservation mode to keep from having anyone truly know who we are at our center. God didn’t make evil people, nor did he make bad people. We all make decisions based on our own desires, some of which are good and some of which are bad. Good and bad cannot coexist in harmony. It’s against the laws of the Universe.
“I’m gonna guess you know how to change a vehicle’s oil?” Seth asks, question directed at Colin.
The teen snorts. “Hel—I mean, heck yeah. Of course.”
Seth nods. “Good. My truck and my cruiser are due for an oil change, and I’ve been putting it off. We’ll work something out later. That work for you?”
It takes Colin a moment to grasp the idea, but when he does, he covers his shock with nonchalance. “Sure.”
