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I lost count of how many times we jumped in, but it had to have been a combined total of no less than fifty between the four of us. The water was just the right temperature, equally as warm as it is refreshing. John had put a few pool noodles in the boat for us, so I reclined on one of those while Ella and Eli did cannonball after cannonball off the boat and Seth rated every single jump on a scale of one to ten. We took a quick break from swimming to eat our packed lunch—sandwiches, BBQ chips, carrot sticks, and “birthday” chocolate chip cookies Jess sent with Seth—before getting back in.
I’m not sure the last time I laughed so much, but between Seth’s dive-turned-bellyflop and Ella’s contagious case of the birthday giggles, the laughter bubbled out of all four of us. Seth taught the kids how to wear their lifejackets like baby diapers (I took plenty of videos and photos even though I was laughing so hard tears were leaking from my eyes) and we did contests to see who could hold their breath the longest. Not surprisingly, Seth won every round, but Ella impressed us all with her thirty-second hold. It turns out I have the lungs of the aforementioned mouse and I’m not about to disclose how long I didn’t last underwater.
We floated on our backs and came up with what shapes the big puffy clouds were in the sky. There was a pirate ship, a heart, a palm tree, and an owl, and Seth proceeded to make up a story about them. Apparently, the owl—his very original name, courtesy of Eli, is Mr. Owl—lives on a big pirate ship called theAye Matey!and he has heart-shaped eyes. Every year on his birthday—today happens to be his fifth—Mr. Owl gets a new palm tree and adds it to his collection on the secret island where he docks his ship. With Eli’s embellishment, Mr. Owl also has a big heart, and he loves his mommy lots.
All the swimming and storytelling and laughter wore the kids out, though, because we crawled back onto the boat, toweled off, and Ella and Eli were both curled up and passed out on the front seats within five minutes. Seth and I managed to put the canopy up—let’s be honest, though, Seth did most of the work—to give them some shade after being in the hot sun. We still have forty-five minutes before we need to have the boat back, so I grabbed my towel and laid it out on the seat in the back to rest in the sun for a little while. Seth got a call from work, which he’s taking care of in hushed tones from the captain’s chair.
I allow myself to indulge in the luxury of watching Seth with my head rolled to the side, my eyes a little heavy from the heat. His right arm is propped on the armrest of his chair with his phone pressed to his ear, and his expression doesn’t seem to be tense, so it must not be something terrible. His long legs are stretched out in front of him, crossed at the ankle. His skin is already bronze, but he has a little bit of red in his cheeks and on his shoulders.
My eyes eventually drift closed, the rocking of the boat like a soothing rhythm. The sun is warm to my skin and I’m pretty sure I’ve never been in a more peaceful place. The radio is playing Margaritaville radio very faintly in the background, currently onChanges in Latitude, Changes in Attitudeby Jimmy Buffett, and there are a few other boats anchored nearby but I’m still completely relaxed. My body has melted into this seat, my stomach is content from our lunch, and my soul is bursting with a happiness I haven’t felt in a long time. I’ve been happy, yes, but notthishappy.
Today’s happiness isn’t fleeting. It’s not temporary, coming from one high to another because of some exhilarating experience that leaves you running on adrenaline. No, today’s happiness is a deep contentedness I feel all the way to my bones and nothing can shake. I don’t think it could even be shaken if a thunderstorm suddenly rolled across the lake and drenched us.
“Mind if I join you?”
I shade my eyes as I look up at Seth. “Go for it. You’ll probably want a towel, though. I learned that the hard way.”
“One step ahead of you.” He lays a blue beach towel across the seat next to me, then maneuvers himself onto it. Every single nerve in my body wakes from their sun-induced coma when he lays down beside me, his shoulder pressing into mine. “Well, I think today was successful. So far, anyway.”
My laugh is surprisingly normal, given the fact that our arms are touching from shoulder to wrist. “Yeah, I would say so. Ella and Eli loved playing in the water.”
“Only Ella and Eli?”
I can feel his gaze on me, so I turn, and I’m hit by the sun sparkling in his eyes. Remember how I said they were ocean colored? I change my mind. They’re lake colored. But not a grimy lake you can’t go swimming in because it’s covered in gross algae. Seth’s eyes are like Falls Lake; deep, blue with hints of navy, and so very easy to go swimming in if given the opportunity.
“No,” I admit. “I loved it too.”
He smiles and rests his head on his left palm, looking up at the sky. “I’m glad to hear it. And by the way, I like your swimsuit. No, let me correct that. I like that swimsuit onyou.”
I take the compliment and tuck it away to remember every time I put on a pair of jeans and critique myself in the mirror for my thighs not looking as good as the picture I saw on Pinterest or when I wish my chest would fill out a dress better. It’s not that I need a man’s approval to love myself, but after being married to a man who didn’t think compliments were necessary, well, it just means that much more to me. Especially because I know Seth is being genuine.
“You have a tattoo,” I blurt out.
“So do you.” Amusement underlines his words.
“Well, yeah, but it’s not nearly as interesting as yours.”
“Oh? And what makes mine so interesting?”
Is it too late to shift into Reverse and back out of this conversation? Yes?Shoot. “Um, well, the wings and…”
“The anniversary of my mother’s death?”
I nod.
Seth inhales a breath that fills his chest, and then blows it out slowly. “I got it when I turned eighteen. It was either the words I got orGive heaven some hell,but I feel like this was more fitting for her. It was the summer before I left for UNL and when I had a pretty big, uh, disagreement with Meredith and Elias.”
I feel like I’m not supposed to say anything, based on the way he left it sort of hanging. So instead, I give into the impulse I’ve been resisting since he laid down beside me. I twine my fingers through his. He takes another deep breath, fingers tightening around mine.
“Looking back, I wouldn’t change anything because I don’t regret my career choice, but…I don’t know. Elias was dead set on me taking over the marina and golf course, working my way up in both businesses to take over when he retired, and I was dead against it. I don’t have anything against either business and they’re both extremely profitable now, but that wasn’t my passion. My dream was not to be a high-class pool boy, so to speak, and cater to the demands of my high class clients.”
“I mean, you would make an attractive pool boy.”
He chuckles. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“Hey, what else am I good for?” I tease.
His brows raise as he looks at me. “Plenty of things, Jen. But anyway, they basically told me that, if I was going to become a cop, they weren’t going to be any part of it. And they weren’t. John and Jackie were the ones who showed up on Parents’ Day, my sister was the one I came back on weekends to visit, and I was the one who I relied on. Until graduation day came, of course. Meredith and Elias had all but disowned me while I was in college, but they obviously had to show up and dote on me for graduation. I guess that’s part of the reason I’ve never been close to them. I get that they took us in and all that when we had no one else, and I don’t take that lightly. And maybe I should’ve handled things differently. It’s too late to change anything with my uncle now, but… I don’t know. Meredith hasn’t made an effort with me, so I’m not sure I want to use my time and energy on it.”
