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Theo
Iwant to eat him.
I don’t care that he is bigger than me and it would take me more than a couple of bites. I want to rip his bright green mandibles off, shove them in my mouth and crunch them up to the music of his screams.
I draw in a breath as I revel in the desire. My talons twitch as though already slicing through his hard shell to the soft flesh inside. Then I glance at Joe, soft and pathetically human—I envy him—and Julie and I do nothing but feast on my imaginings.
The fight made me human-sized. It made me visible to all. Despite my oversized claws, I feel weak and vulnerable. Pale and naked and not human enough for it to matter and not monster enough to be brave.
Julie’s gaze dances over me. She can’t stand to look at my twisted form. Why am I giving these two my loyalty? They do not deserve it.
For a moment, I think about attacking the two monsters guarding us just so I can force a change. Perhaps I’ll become invisible again, but that is not a guarantee.
And I don’t want to go back to living how I had been. Michael gave up and left us. He chose to be a monster because it was easier than trying to become human. Anger boils in my belly. If he hadn’t, we would’ve won against the guards, and we’d be on our way up the spire instead of heading deeper into the castle. If I give up, I won’t be skulking around the cave that Michael and Joe turned into a home. I’ll be on my own and trying to find a way out of the castle. Trying to find a way to survive.
This is the best chance to leave Under that I’ve had in a very long time.
How long?
I have no idea. And I remember nothing of my previous life. All I know is that I was once human, and I ended up here by either believing I was a monster, or by behaving like one.
Joe does not look like a killer, but then humans don’t. In Under, everyone’s secrets are worn in their changes. If I am to become non-monstrous, then I need to accept what I did, or thought, and that seems much harder when I can’t remember.
Maybe I am doomed, and this is all pointless.
The tunnel opens up into what could be described as a courtyard. It is littered with bones and teeth and other bits that are considered inedible, but I have eaten hooves and claws and such.
The one with mandibles and the hard skin would be crunchy, but he is soft on the inside like everyone else, and I have already made him bleed. The one with the pointed face, and wide grinning, toothy mouth, knows how to fight, but what is he fighting for?
What amIfighting for?
To return to the monster I was, the man who I don’t remember, or to change and be someone new? I want the latter, but it terrifies me. I have failed to climb the spire before. If I fail this time, what will become of me? Perhaps falling and being eaten would be the best idea.
Or we could fight our guards and be free to leave Under and carve a new life together. Here is the best place to attack, as Joe and Julie could grab weapons. If they fight, they will change, and we can all live in a cave together…no. We can’t fight. We are going home.
Whatever that place is.
Does Julie have a nice home?
With nice things to eat? Hot bread and butter. I can remember the heat, but not the taste. Why can’t I remember the taste?
The only thing my mouth craves is hot blood. Julie’s blood was nice. Joe ate one of her toes. Maybe she’d let me eat one.
Stop it!
I don’t know if it’s Under worming through my brain or my own hunger gnawing at my sanity. I hadn’t eaten in so long and now all I want to do is eat. It’s becoming an obsession.
We our led away from the courtyard and along another tunnel.
“I thought you were taking us to the queen,” Julie says. Her voice doesn’t quiver. It’s as if she really isn’t afraid of them.
She should be. They are two heads taller than her and would rip her up and eat her without thinking about it, so why did the guards grab her and bring her here?
I turn to study our two monster guards more intently.
Why are they working together? And working for the queen? Monsters don’t do that. Not usually. I have only ever seen Michael and Joe work together, truly work together for something other than a kill.
