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Putting every bit of strength into her voice she could manage, Nora stated, "Look at me, River Vale." He reluctantly did so. The hopelessness in his eyes nearly made her rush to him, but she held her ground to say what needed to be said. "Being a healer is who you are. So much so, Yesenia was willing to do anything to keep you from using your powers for harm. Despite all she did, if you'd given in, then what? I suspect they still would've killed your mentor, would've forced Yesenia to try and marry their underworld boss, and still gone looking for Meadow." She walked over, grabbed his shirt, and tugged a little. "And if you'd given in, it would've destroyed you. Not only that, it would've made Yesenia's sacrifices all in vain. And I'm sure your mentor knew a bit of why you were training with him, right? And probably the dangers?"
"That doesn't make it all right."
"No, but it does mean he knew the risks and still agreed to take you on." She released his shirt and patted his chest. She softened her voice a fraction. "We will mourn him, River, and even hold services to honor him if you wish. However, don't you dare give up on everything because a group of awful villains did what they were always going to do—hurt, and harm, and be cruel to intimidate and coerce. I know what it's like to suffer such things at the hands of horrid males, to have impossible choices to make in order to survive. But in the end, we both lived, and I like to think it matters. More so, I think it means we can each work doubly hard to make the most of still being here. There is a lot we both can do to better the world, but only if we try to move forward."
Nora searched his eyes, but she could see she hadn't yet convinced him. So she pushed on. "And yes, the pain will always remain, and the memories will linger, but once you find something to live for, well, each day becomes easier. I had my son, as well as my brothers, to help me carry on. Even if your mentor is gone, your sisters are still alive. Work to protect them. Maybe even strive to help as many as you can each day, almost as if you're thumbing your nose at Derrick Yates, proving you have so much good to accomplish." She moved to cup his cheek and River allowed it. "In fifty years, no one was able to heal me inside my head and heart as much as you did in a matter of weeks. You being alive and here matters, River. I'm sorry about Dr. Morelli, but I'm not sorry you showed up here."
Maybe spilling a bit of her heart was selfish, but Nora needed River to see how important he was to not only his sisters, but her as well.
He was a good male, a good healer, and she didn't want him to forever think he was a coward, or murderer, or some other guilt-induced feeling caused by the vampire underworld boss she'd never met.
Although one day, she hoped that Derrick Yates met the fate he deserved.
As she continued to stroke River's cheek, Nora waited to see if anything she'd said had made a difference. If not, she would have to think of another way. Because if there was one thing she was determined to do, it was to save River like he'd managed to save her, no matter what it took.
* * *
River stareddown at the most beautiful female he'd ever seen and tried to absorb her words.
She'd made awful choices to stay alive. Even something as fucking horrific as not fainting from blood loss to pelt out some tune on a piano, knowing she'd probably have to do it all again, repeatedly, until the fucker at the time knocked her up and left her alone.
And even knowing that would happen, Nora had remained strong and played the goddamn song. She'd chosen to live, to keep going, even when she knew the world around her would forever judge her.
Her inner strength was something everyone should look up to, if only they knew.
However, his choices weren't quite the same—they'd involved so many more people than merely himself. And yet, as she talked about how he'd been able to heal her, to make her feel more whole, and how she was glad he'd shown up in 1890, it finally entered his thick skull about what would've happened if he'd never left the future.
Nora would still be locked away in her brother's home, afraid to go outside, determined to avoid life in general to protect herself.
She most definitely wouldn't be standing outside right now, stroking the cheek of a male she cared for, trying to convince him to get his head out of his ass and make the most of now, of being alive, of what lay ahead.
Not even time-wielders could change the past of those they knew. River's was decided, set in stone no matter his feelings, and he could either let guilt and shame forever weigh him down, or he could tell the fucking wonderful female right in front of him that he wanted to live. Not just for himself, or even his sisters. No, he wanted to embrace life for her.
For them.
He loved her. And even if she could do so much fucking better than him, he was selfish and wanted to make the most of his future for her.
A little for him, and a bit to pay tribute to Dave's sacrifice too. But mostly for Nora, the female who deserved the world, and he would do whatever he could to give it to her.
Placing his hand over hers on his cheek, he moved it until he could kiss her palm. "You're right—finding a reason to live will help me get through this shit. And while I will always do my best to help my sisters, I want to try to be better because of you, baby. I love you, Nora. And even if I can't promise to never fail again, I'm going to try my goddamn best to be the strongest male, strongest fae witch, strongest healer I can. For you. Because you are my future, Nora. If you don't mind a cranky asshole who'll probably sometimes still scream in his sleep, or retreat when the worst of the memories hit, then I still want to marry you. I still want to work with you toward helping those who need it. And I still want to give you everything within my power to give." He kissed her palm again. "Tell me you still want me, baby."
Nora threw her arms around him and hugged him tight, her hat falling off her head as she laid her cheek against his chest. "I'm here, River. I'll always be here." She leaned back, her eyes full of love, and happiness, and so much joy it nearly made his heart fucking burst. "I love you too, Dr. River Vale. And of course I still want a future with you, you daft witch."
She smiled up at him, and he smiled back at her. "Even though you're a vampire and it makes no fucking sense, it's like you're my sunshine, baby. All I have to do is look at you and the world turns brighter."
Her eyes crinkled at the corners. "And there's my charming fae witch. I was waiting for him to come back."
He kissed her gently and whispered, "He can't resist teasing you, so he'll be back often."
She laughed and River couldn't help but kiss her again, almost as if he could absorb her happiness to help ward off some of his darkness.
As he devoured her lips, stroking his tongue against hers, he reveled in her taste and the little noises in her throat.
This, right here, was what he'd work hard toward. If he could kiss, and fuck, and tease his vampire, he'd do anything, face any challenge, to possess it.
He'd debated if he should keep kissing her when one of the footmen raced toward them. He broke the kiss but didn't relinquish his hold on Nora. Now, more than ever, he needed her touch to ground him, to keep his memories from crashing down on him again.
As soon as the young footman was close enough—he was half shifter and half vampire, so the sun didn't bother him—he blurted, "Dark Lord Kahn has arrived."
