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My grouch. I giggled, liking the sound of it.
“Now come on,” Marcie said, a more excited tone to her voice. “I want to go shopping for baby stuff with my best friend.”
She plucked her purse off the side table next the door and the slight movement brought the gentle roundness of her belly into sharp relief. I stared, wondering what it would feel like to nurture a tiny life inside of my body. She turned back toward me, and her loose blouse settled back into place, concealing the bump again.
“So are you nervous?” I asked Marcie a while later as we stood side-by-side, staring at a wall of baby gear. I stepped forward and flicked through a row of neatly packaged onesies. “About becoming a mom, that is.”
Marcie blew out a long sigh. “Yeah. Scared shitless, honestly. But I’m excited, too.” Her hand dropped to her belly and she gently patted the tiny roundness.
“What about Denton?”
She reached out and pulled a blanket with a dog pattern off the shelf. “He’s nervous too, but he’s mostly just thrilled. At his age, he thought being a dad wasn’t in the cards anymore, but now…well, you know.”
At his age.Clive and I hadn’t talked about marriage or babies—not yet, anyway. I knew we were in it for the long haul, but none of the other conversations had happened yet.
Marcie tossed the blanket into her shopping basket and turned to me. “What about the two of you? Will I have a…sibling coming anytime soon?”
I burst out laughing. “Oh my God, I didn’t even think of that. The two of you would be siblings, wouldn’t you?”
She shook her head, a slight smile playing at her lips. “Yeah, believe me, it’s weird for me, too.”
“Well, no danger of that right now,” I said. “I’m on the pill and I’m having my period in—”
I paused as I did the math. Then did it again. And then one more time, just to be sure.
“What?” Marcie asked. “What is it?”
I exhaled weakly. “I’m five days late.”
Her eyes widened, but she nodded her head, all business. “Right. Well,” she said, slipping an arm around my shoulders. “Sounds like we should wrap this up, go to the drugstore and pick up a couple of tests for you. Do you want me to be with you when you take them?”
I shook my head, focused on not stumbling over as Marcie guided me toward the checkout. “No, I think I need Clive with me for this.”
“Hey.” She paused and turned to me. “Whatever happens? It’s okay. I’ll be so happy for you if you are. And my dad will be, too. And if you’re not pregnant? Then that just means you have some more time to plan for when you want to be.”
I took a deep breath, willing my heart to slow down. I could freak out later with Clive, if I needed to. “Yeah. You’re right.”
Two hours later, armed with a plastic bag full of pregnancy tests, I let myself into my apartment and marched straight toward Clive, who lounged on the sofa while watching a hockey game. He turned toward me and smiled broadly as I approached, and despite my anxiety, desire curled through me at the flash of his white teeth in his handsome, bearded face.
I held up the plastic baggie, the boxes labeled Pregnancy Test clearly visible through the thin plastic. “We have a situation, Clive.”
He surged to his feet and strode toward me, his arms wrapping securely around my waist. “Are you okay?”
I gazed up at him. “Am I…wait, what?”
He bent his head and rested his forehead against mine. “I just want to know if you’re okay right now. If there’s anything I can do for you.”
The plastic rustled in my fingers as I worried the straps of the bag. “I…I think so, yeah. I think I was just worried that you would freak out the second I told you I might be pregnant.”
Clive shook his head and leaned in close to press a soft kiss to my lips. “Whatever happens, I love you and we’ll figure it out. Do you want to wait a little while to take the test or do it now? Are you in the right window to find out?”
I took a deep breath. “Now. I’ve already missed my period, so if I’m pregnant, the test will show it. I just didn’t want to do this without you.”
In the master bathroom, Clive tactfully turned his back while I peed on the test strip, pivoting back around once I’d placed it on the counter and set my phone timer for three minutes. I was dying to look down at the test and see if anything came up, but I kept my gaze averted for the entire wait. So did Clive.
“If it’s positive,” I said weakly. “How will you feel?”
He pushed off the door frame and walked toward me where I was perched on the vanity. His big hands smoothed down my shoulders and he leaned in to drop a kiss on my forehead.
