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Chapter 18
Brett
The huddle is tight and the smell of sweat is in my nostrils.
“Red Right!” I shout, and when the ball snaps, we’re in motion. My mind is on one thing, and one thing only—the ball.
The moment I’m on the field, the rest of the world falls away. I stop thinking about everything that bugs me and just let loose. When the other team is full of shit, all the better. Once they start talking smack, I use their words to fuel me and run them into the ground.
This is a full-contact sport, and I love it. I’ve loved it since the first day my dad pushed a football into my hand.
Colin fumbles the ball and the team groans as we come to a halt.
“Sorry, guys,” Colin mutters. “It’s just an off day.”
“Take five!” Coach shouts, and we walk to the water tray and each grab a bottle.
“This is bullshit,” Colin complains. “I feel like everything’s just off, and with the game creeping closer—”
“Don’t get worked about it. Come on; we know how it works by now. When the day comes, you’ll fall back on reflex and we’ll bring it home.”
Colin nods, but he doesn’t look too happy.
I sit down on the bench, tugging at my equipment. I don’t feel on top of my game either today, but all attention is on Colin. They haven’t noticed me yet. I want to keep it that way.
When I told Jenna that my career would be over soon, it hit me that it might be sooner than I think. I’m still in peak condition, I work hard, and I’m an asset to this team. But the new guys that come in from time to time are younger, stronger, and I don’t have that kind of stamina without working my ass off for it anymore. One day, they’re going to replace me, and then I’m fucked.
I’m going to have to get another job, something in an office, and I don’t know how I feel about that.
“What’s up with you?” Colin asks.
He’s a bit younger than I am, and even though he’s fucking up right now, he doesn’t have to worry too much about being disposable. He still has a lot to give, and the coach knows it.
“I just have a lot on my mind,” I say with a shrug. I don’t want to admit that I’m starting to worry about having to retire. I don’t want to verbalize it—as long as it’s not in anyone’s heads, it doesn’t matter when I step up and prove I’m worth my position on the team.
“Is it Jenna?” he asks.
She’s been on my mind, too. So, I nod.
“I haven’t heard you talking about the same woman for this long,” Colin points out.”
I shrug. “She’s not going to be here forever.”
“So, you’ll be happy when she’s gone?”
That’s not how I feel at all when I think about her going back to LA, but I don’t say it. I don’t say anything at all.
Colin whistles through his teeth. “You’ve got to be shitting me.”
“What?”
“You like her, don’t you? And I don’t just mean for a good fuck when you’re bored.”
I sigh. “You’re making it sound like some kind of phenomenon.”
Colin laughs. “With you? Yeah, no shit. It’s a miracle. Or…sorcery.”
I shake my head, laughing, too. “What the fuck, man.”
