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I shake my head. “He’s not back home. He’s here, in the city. We had a one-night thing just before I moved to Paris. It was nothing, though.”
Michelle narrows her eyes. “Okay…so if it was nothing, why are you thinking about it now?”
I hesitate but decide to tell Michelle the truth. The wine always loosens my tongue a little, and Michelle is easy to talk to. Besides, maybe if I voice what I’m thinking and feeling, I’ll figure out that it’s not such a big deal. Michelle can put it into perspective for me.
“I saw him again last week,” I confess. “And we…well, we slept together.”
Michelle squeals loudly enough that some of the guests close to us look up.
I laugh. “Do you want to proclaim that any louder?”
“You slept with someone after we arrived here, and you didn’t tell me?”
I shrug. “I didn’t think there was anything to tell. I mean, it’s nothing. It’s just…” I sigh. “And now I can’t stop thinking about him.”
Michelle blinks at me. “Okay?”
I drink my wine, not having anything else to say. When I’m silent for long enough, Michelle groans.
“Are you kidding me? You slept with a guy and you can’t stop thinking about him…and that’sit?”
“What am I supposed to do?” I ask with a giggle. Michelle is so dramatic, and it adds comic relief when I get way too tangled up in a situation.
“You should call him! See him again. It’s Valentine’s Day!”
“The last thing I want to do is spend today with him. That will just give him ideas.”
“What ideas? That you like him? Obviously, you do, or you wouldn’t have slept with him.Twice.”
“The last time was six years ago,” I counter.
“Exactly my point!”
“It won’t work, anyway, Mish,” I say. “I live in Paris, remember? I don’t do long-distance.”
Hell, I couldn’t even do short-distance with him back in the day.
“Seeing him, getting attached, doing the whole dating thing…it’s not going to work. Besides, we’re so crazy busy now, anyway, there won’t be time.”
Michelle sighs. “I guess you’re right. But you deserve to be happy, Ray. And you should do what makes you happy, no matter what that looks like. You should let your hair down a little. You don’t have to worry about Ava right now, so take care of yourself. Have some fun.”
“I’m not here to find myself. We’re here for work.”
“Who says you can’t mix business with pleasure?”
I grin at her and lift my glass. “What do you think I’m doing right now?”
Michelle laughs and lifts her glass, clinking it against mine.
“To success,” she says.
“And to being strong.”
We drink our wine.
Michelle is right; I do owe it to myself to be happy and do something for me. But it’s not going to happen with Noah. It can’t. I don’t know where he is; I don’t have his number anymore. It will just be looking for trouble, anyway.
I conveniently left out the part about Noah being Ava’s father. Michelle doesn’t need to know that—I already know she’s going to tell me I need to figure it out with him then. He has a right to know.
