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He doesn’t settle down. He doesn’t do commitment.
I’ll be lying if I say I didn’t think about him all the way over here. But seeing him again would just be a mistake.
And it was.
Sleeping with him again only reignited the feelings I shouldn’t have for him. He’s everything I don’t want in a man. Everything I shouldn’t be focusing on right now.
But it was a mistake that felt incredible. We slept together because I can’t resist him. I’ve never been able to stay away from him. He’s an Adonis, with baby blue eyes that make my heart skip a beat and a smile that makes me go weak at the knees.
After we slept together last week, I told him I was leaving the next day to protect myself. The last thing I need right now is a distraction—especially one that’s destined to end in disaster. It’s better to keep my head in the game and focus on the things I know I can control. If I get involved with Noah again, it’s just going to break my heart all over again. And despite knowing he wasn’t the guy for me, it’s taken me a long time to put it back together again.
And to accept that the life Ava and I live now—just the two of us—is enough.
“What’s wrong?” Michelle asks, snapping me out of the spiral of my thoughts.
“What?”
“You have that look on your face.”
“What look?”
Michelle shakes her head. “I don’t know. You get these moments where you close in on yourself and start brooding over something. What’s up?”
“It’s nothing; I’m just stressing about the models,” I lie.
“They’ll be where they need to be,” Michelle says. “This isn’t our first rodeo, and it isn’t theirs, either. We’ve got this!”
I smile at Michelle and decide to try being as positive about it as she is. It’s not that I believe I’m going to fail. I’ve made it this far. I just don’t want to get my hopes up. I’m not a pessimist, but Iama realist. If the past five years with Ava in my life have taught me anything, it’s to stop looking too far into the future and roll with the punches.
That way, everything works out the way it should because there are no expectations that can be waited on, only to find out it’s never going to happen.
Chapter 2
Raven
By the time I get home from the bar where Michelle and I went for a glass of wine, my head throbs dully, and my eyes are gritty from lack of sleep. I dump my handbag and coat at the door and kick off my shoes before collapsing on the bed.
I glance at the time. Despite saying we were going to make it an early night, it’s past midnight already. That means it’s already early morning in Paris.
I dial Maria’s number. I know I’m taking a chance, but Ava has never slept in past five-thirty, and I doubt she’ll let Maria have the sleep she won’t let me have.
“Hello, hello!” Maria says when she answers the video call. Her hair is wet after a shower, but the lights are on. The sun will rise in another hour or so. “I thought you would have gone to bed already, darling.”
“Hi, Aunt Maria,” I say with a tired smile. “Just about to turn in now, but I couldn’t go to bed without calling first. How are things?”
“Perfectly fine, you don’t need to worry. We’re having a wonderful time. Ava is an angel. Do you want to talk to her?”
I nod, and when my daughter appears on the screen, my heart constricts. Her hair is like spun gold, and she has large blue eyes that stare right into your soul. She’s Noah to a tee.
“Mommy!” she cries out and plants fat slobbery kisses all over the phone screen before she wipes it with her sleeve. I laugh.
“Hello, mycherie, I miss you!”
“I miss you, too. What are you doing?” Her French lilt when speaking in English is adorable.
“Right now? I’m ready to go to bed.”
“It’s time to wake up!”
