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Natalie shakes her head. “I loved him, Noah. More than I can explain. And the years with him, short as they were, were the best years of my life. It might have hurt like hell to lose him, but I’d rather have had those years than live a whole life without knowing that kind of happiness, without loving him so completely. And he gave me Kylie, and I love her just as much. She’s a beautiful child, but I see David in her every day.”

“I thought it might hurt.”

“No, it means I still have a part of him.” She steps closer to me and puts her hand on my chest. “Life is nothing without love, Noah. We need that connection, that closeness. And it’s shit when things go wrong, but when they go right…if you really love Raven as much as I think you do—if she’s really your person—you shouldn’t let her go.”

She hugs me before she turns to add teabags to our cups and brew tea.

She’s right. I know she is. She’s been through so much, and she still manages to see the good side of life. I wish I could be like her, sometimes—she’s open and kind and understanding, and when life dealt her a fucked up hand, she didn’t give up.

But can I do that? Natalie is tough. I don’t know if I have what it takes to close my eyes and jump.

Natalie might have survived everything that happened to her, with losing David, but I saw what it did to her.

And I don’t know if I can deal with something like that—no matter how I might lose Raven—if I know happiness the way Natalie once knew it. I don’t know if I’m as strong as my little sister.

“Come on, let’s sit with Kylie for a while before she goes to bed,” Natalie says and offers me a cup of tea. “I think she’s watching Fairy Marla.”

When she says it, I think about Raven, knowing exactly who that was. Now, I get it. Her daughter probably loves Fairy Marla, too.

My heart constricts at how good Raven was with Kylie. And how she must be with her own daughter. I want to know more about her life with her daughter. I wish she’d told me so that I could have decided how I feel about it all with that extra piece of the puzzle.

But now, it’s too late.

She’s already gone.

And as much as Natalie tells me the world isn’t so big and I can go after her, I’m not sure I can do it. I don’t know how to close my eyes and jump. All I know how to do is damage control, picking up the pieces when something goes wrong.

I’m terrified it might go wrong, that it will only be something else I need to deal with. But I know how to handle something like that.

What terrifies me more is that it might all go right.

I’ll be in uncharted territory, then.

Chapter 24

Raven

The next day, the world is covered in white powder and it still looks like a picture book or a movie. But the snow stopped falling somewhere in the night, and the skies are clear. It’s like the snow clouds have been sucked up by a vacuum and there’s no trace of anything going wrong, aside from the coat of snow the world wears now.

The weather reports on the radio are all positive. Everyone is surprised by the freak blizzard that came out of nowhere and went right back to wherever it came from.

When I call the airport, they confirm that flights are going out again. It’s finally time to go back home.

Michelle asks her dad if we can use his truck, and in no time, we’re driving to the airport together.

“You really don’t have to go through the trouble,” I say. “I can call a cab.”

“Of course, I do. I’m not going to see you for a while. I’m going to take every second I can get.”

I smile. I know it’s not only because we won’t be seeing each other for a while. She wants to make sure I’m okay after everything that happened with Noah.

In the truck, Michelle makes small talk as we drive. She talks about looking around for space to rent or buy, about marketing on top of what’s already in the tabloids, about how we’re going to juggle two places.

“We’ll have to find a manager to run the place,” she says. “It’s the only way forward. We need to start delegating if we keep growing.”

“I’m sure we can find someone who knows what to do,” I say.

“Yeah, and it will be nice to be able to sit back and watch the action rather than working our fingers to the bone.”

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