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Raven shakes her head and sets down her teacup before she stands. She takes a few steps away from the kitchen table where we’re both seated.
After the motherfucker left, I picked the chairs and table back up again, setting them right in the small kitchen. I have so many questions. Who is he? How does he fit into the picture? Why is he still bothering Raven if she clearly doesn’t want him around? But I don’t push for answers. We have time to talk about those things. What matters is what I feel for Raven and that she understands I don’t want to walk away from this.
“I don’t know what to think,” she finally says, looking out of the kitchen window at the view of the city around us. Everything about this place screams Fairytale. The apartment is quaint and cozy and everything I’d imagine finding in a movie.
I don’t answer her. I let her think things through. It’s a lot to take in.
“You don’t want children,” she says.
I sigh. “I know I said that. And hypothetically, all that was true. I have a career with hours that aren’t conducive to family life, I party and drink, and I like to travel with the team when they play their games. But babe, all of that was what I thought about when I considered having children. In thefuture. It’s different when I already have one.”
Raven glances at me over her shoulder. “That’s another thing. You live in New York. And we live here. I’m not uprooting her to move back home. This life is all she knows, and I can’t afford to take a chance—”
“Then I’ll move here,” I say before I can even think about my words.
She blinks at me. “You can’t be serious.”
“Why not? I’m not asking you to give it all up. I’m not asking you to make her life hard. I’ll do that—I’ll find a job here and be with you.”
Raven shakes her head. “You love your job. It’s everything you’ve wanted, short of being on the team yourself. You told me that.”
I nod. She’s right—my job is everything to me.
“Raven,” I say. “You don’t get it. I love my job, sure. I love the life I’ve built for myself. I love my friends and my team and the high-rolling party life. I love New York. But there’s one thing you haven’t considered.”
“What?”
“I love you more.”
Tears roll down her cheek, and I walk to her. I wrap my arms around her, holding her tight.
What am I saying? I’ll give up the team? I’ll give up my job with them? Move away from Rooster? But the alternative is a life without Raven, and if I have to choose, it’s not hard. I know what I want.
I want Raven.
France has sports teams. They’ll need a general manager here. I can figure something out. I have savings I can fall back on to get me through while I search for something if it doesn’t happen immediately.
And if I have to give it up altogether and go in a new direction…I will.
I never thought I would consider moving away from football altogether if I have to. That would have been the end of me. Football is my life.
But my priorities have changed, and football isn’t everything anymore. Once upon a time, I thought my life was over when I couldn’t play pro.
Now, I’m willing to give it all up for her.
Because Raven has become everything. And no matter what else is out there, as long as I have her by my side, I can make it work. I’ll be happy.
Happier than I’ve ever been.
“Being a father isn’t that simple,” Raven says. “If you’re going to do this, you have to commit to sticking it out. She needs someone consistent in her life, Noah. She can’t do with you coming and going. If I introduce her to you, you have to stay.”
I hear what she’s saying to me—Ava deserves a father who won’t walk out on her. But I also hear what Raven isn’t saying. I have to commit to not walking out on her, too. It’s bigger than just keeping a promise to a little girl.
It’s keeping my promise to Raven, too.
“I know,” I say. “And I’ll stick it out. I’m sure I am going to suck at it at first, but you’ll help me. And we’ll figure it out, the three of us.”
Raven nods, looking up at me with her big, dark eyes, and she looks so vulnerable and nervous, I want to hold her in my arms and fight off the world, forever.
