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“A part of me feels guilty,” I admit.

“It’s not wrong to be with someone.”

“I know, but still…It was just sodifferentwith him. The way he touched me. And the way he held me. It wasn’t like a normal one-night stand. I didn’t think it was just getting off, you know?”

“No?”

I shake my head. “I know it sounds stupid. But weconnected.I mean, in a way, it felt like we’ve known each other for years. And although he’s the only guy since David, he touched me like he sawme. Not just my body.”

I don’t add how incredible it was to be with someone again, to be pressed up against someone, skin on skin. I don’t tell her how amazing it was to be brought to orgasm multiple times.

“I guess I should have known he wouldn’t call me back. I just thought he was different.” While we were together, and when he wanted my number, I felt wanted again. And I haven’t had that in a long time.

“Guys can be assholes,” she says. “But don’t let a jackass like him change your mind about men. Sometimes, you have to kiss a couple of frogs before you find a prince. It sucks, but the Prince is out there, somewhere.”

I nod. I’ve heard the saying and it’s cliche. Besides, Michelle doesn’t understand what it took for me to open myself up and be with someone again. I still feel like I betrayed my late husband, somehow. Even when Dianne tells me David would want me to be happy. It’s just so hard to let go.

“I have an idea,” Michelle says, putting the boots back on the shelf. I keep the pair she gave me; I like them.

“What?” I ask when we stand in the queue to pay.

“Come to this charity ball with me. Raven authorized me to take some of the company money since it’s charity, and it’s going to include an auction.”

“What kind of auction?” I hand the shoes to the cashier when we reached the front.

“A hot date with famous football players. It could be fun, and you never know what you could end up with.”

I burst out laughing. “Are you kidding me? They are auctioning off men?”

Michelle shrugs. “It’s for a good cause. And who wouldn’t want a chiseled Adonis to take them out for an evening? It’s just a date, nothing dirty or scandalous. They have reputations to uphold.” She glances at the cashier, who listens to our conversation intently. “Although, we could wish for more, right?” She waggles her eyebrows and she and the cashier start giggling together. I shake my head at the two women.

“It’s not my scene,” I say.

“Oh, come on,” Michelle begs when I hand my card to the cashier. “It will be fun, and it’s just a one-night thing.”

“I’ve had enough ofone-night things, thank you,” I say. “Besides, Kylie and I are going to the movies.”

“You didn’t even hear when it is,” Michelle exclaims.

I laugh. “Maybe that’s a sign that I really don’t want to go.”

Michelle shakes her head but grins at the cashier again. “I guess I’ll just have to bag him for myself, then, right?”

The cashier hands me the bag with my shoes in them, and Michelle and I leave the store.

“Where next?” Michelle asks.

“I want to buy a couple of things at the toy store for Kylie’s birthday coming up. She has a wish list, and I’ve been fishing without trying to seem obvious.”

“Oh, that sounds great,” Michelle says. “I almost forgot about that.”

“It’s still a couple of weeks away, but if I prepare now, I will feel better.”

I drag Michelle into a toy store and we look at the dolls, the coloring and art supplies, and everything fairy related. Michelle points out a couple of things, and when we decide, she carries a gift of her own to the counter.

“Just think about it,” she urges. “It can’t hurt to go on a date. It doesn’t have to be anything serious.”

“I know,” I say, paying. “But I don’t think I have what it takes. Everyone tells me it will be good for me and I should move on, and they are probably right. It’s just not that easy. And after Mason…” I shake my head. “I’ll try again at some point, I guess. But not now.”

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