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My mind shifts to Natalie. It’s still early days for us—we’re still getting to know each other and I have no idea what will happen. But she’s the kind of person I want to try with. And when I finally do find that person—Natalie or someone else, if it comes down to it—I want it to be someone I can have the same relationship with that my parents share.
It's ironic that despite how fucked up things are between my dad and me, he’s still a role model to me in a way.
When I think about Natalie, my mind ends up with Nicole. The bitch that screwed me over. Damn it, she ruined me for a good relationship all these years. Whenever I think about trying again and finding happiness like I had once—before she betrayed me—she comes to mind as a reminder that people can be venomous snakes.
But I won’t look at Natalie through the same lens. It’s not fair to her to assume she’ll do the worst to me, too. She doesn’t seem like someone who would do that, anyway.
I must reel in my fears and give her a fair shot.
That’s what I expect from her, too. I know I have her ex to contend with. We’ll get to that stage eventually.
I consider calling her, just to hear her voice. But I don’t know what I’ll say to her. I don’t want to move too fast. I don’t want to put pressure on her for something she might not be ready for.
Natalie is scared shitless of trying again. I still don’t know what happened between her and her ex to do that to her, but I can relate. And the last thing I want to do is scare her off when she’s willing to give a shot at doing this.
She’s like a turtle, with her head just out. I don’t want to bang on the shell and get her to retreat completely.
I want to get to know her. I want to be with her. And to get that right, I will go as slowly as she needs me to.
I’ve got time.
Chapter 14
Natalie
The office is wild and I barely touch the ground. Rachel is arriving from Paris soon and Michelle asked me to make sure everything is ready for her. That includes a few concept themes we can work with.
I’m worried about what I come up with—I’m artistic and Michelle knows that about me, but it’s been a while since I did any real art. The bit I did with Kylie was a lot of fun but it’s not nearly what I used to do. Jumping right back in feels scary and I’m hoping I can meet their expectations.
I don’t know Rachel, but if she’s anything like the rest of the women I’ve worked with, she’s polished and cool under pressure, professional no matter what and she knows exactly what she’s doing. Raven doesn’t allow anyone into the business who isn’t worth every penny she pays them, and more.
Quality and excellence are first and foremost when it comes to Ruby Blue.
My phone rings. When I glance at it, it’s not the school, so I ignore it. Unless it’s something to do with Kylie, I don’t have time to talk.
But the phone rings again, and then a message comes in.
When I catch a breather, I pick up my phone, and my stomach twists. It’s Sam.
Have you had a chance to check your calendar? I would love to meet soon if you can.
I never did get back to him and some time has already passed. It’s not fair of me to leave him hanging like this—I told him we could meet and it would be rude to blow him off.
I type a reply.
I can make tomorrow at lunchtime work if it’s close to the office.
He replies immediately.
Anywhere, say the word and I’m there.
I take a deep breath and send him the location for Jazz Cup Café, a place within walking distance where we often buy coffee or lunch. We agree to meet at one, and I’m terrified of seeing him again. I still don’t know what he wants, and I have to fight myself when I start making excuses to cancel.
When I walk into Jazz Cup Café the next day, Sam is already there. He waves at me, and my stomach rolls and twists into a tight knot. He looks so much like David, with those icy eyes and his dark hair. They’re a few years apart, but they look so alike they could be twins.
When I come closer, there are differences. Sam carries himself differently than David used to. His hair is cropped short with a trendy comb-over, where David’s hair was always a little too long, like he forgot to go to the barber.
“Natalie,” Sam says when I reach him. “Thank you so much for coming.” He steps forward and hugs me. When he steps away, he rests his hands on my arms. “You look incredible.”
